Correct relationship with the Pastors wife....

[seeker]

I know this may seem a strange question to ask, but what is a correct relationship to have with the pastors wife?

Can you not be friends with her? Or is it supposed to be more of a structured church related only type thing?

Also is it wrong or disrespectful to call her Sister {first name} or should you call her Sister {last name}?

thanks, seeker

[ddc101]

Everyone just calls me Sister Cooper because its what Bro.Cooper calls me.My close friends however call me Dana.
I believe in respect for one another.I also call the older sisters mostly by their last names unless they specify otherwise.I look up to the elder sister in respect.We have to keep the respect for those who watch for our souls or who are our elders.I also teach my children to respect elders whomever they may be.Also I want ot add that I am as comfortable as ever having anyone over to my house or out to eat or what ever regardless of who they are or what postion in church they hold.I do not keep a hands off and arms length approach to anybody.Many may not agree but we are all one big family of God and arms length may make them feel I do not have faults.I want the saints to grow and learn to hear from God for themselves.And if anytning I want them to feel like I am their for real sister...because I am...lv sis.c

[committed]

Sis DDc,
You are so right .....I have had both kind of pastor's wives and I will take the down to earth, loving kind any day of the week!! We are all called to be saints! When we have respect of persons we are going against Jesus' teaching. He was God, yet he walked among men, lived with them for 3 1/2 years. Nothing I read shows that he kept people at arms length. So who are we to do that? We need to show people the love of God. And we need to (like you sis ddc) love people.......that is what they need and it is what will please our God.
Love ya all!!! :)

[ddc101]

Thank you Sis.Committed. I am doing what I feel is right.Anyone from church is welcome in my home.We don't have favorites just other brothers and sisters.lv sis.c

[survivor4christ]

That is interesting.

I find many pastor's wives can be aloof and distant b/c of the expectations of the people. The people expect the pastor's wife to be perfect, pretty, must be able to sing and play the organ, manage all affairs of the house well and have perfect little angels. And when some get close enough and see that is not necessarily the case, they cannot handle it.

I loved my first pastor's wife, Sis. Day. She was so down to earth and approachable. She was a REAL woman. Went over to her house and her house was not always spotless; she was to busy visiting the sick and shut in and trying to rehearse songs with the chorale, seeing she played the organ. She got aggravated. She laughed and joked. I loved her, still do. Still anointed vessel of God...


I have only met one other pastor's wife who was somewhat like that...she is much older than Sis. Day is. Sis. Day is a young woman.

Kinda wish you were my pastor, Sis. Cooper! Maybe one day when I get released to Kaplan....:bow:

Love, Sis. Wenona

[NanaRenan]

I find many pastor's wives can be aloof and distant b/c of the expectations of the people. The people expect the pastor's wife to be perfect, pretty, must be able to sing and play the organ, manage all affairs of the house well and have perfect little angels. And when some get close enough and see that is not necessarily the case, they cannot handle it.

I think there are all kinds of reasons some pastor's wives seem unapproachable. They may have been hurt by someone close to them and fear intimacy. They may feel stretched too then trying to be real friends to everyone.

And some are just shy...

Probably every one of us can remember some smart, well-dressed, pretty girl we went to school with that everyone said was "stuck up". Maybe even we came to believe it. Most of them -- if you were ever able to get to know them were just very shy and didn't quite know how to approach people AND were unaware that others considered them unapproachable.

That kind of snobbery ( it IS a two-way street, look it up) comes from our own envy of another's looks, intelligence, material blessings and perceived status. Sometimes the "church" at the local level can be just as "junior high"!

How many people criticize the pastor's wife for the songs she chooses to have the chorale sing or the play put on at Christmas? Her style of clothing or the stores she shops at?

Lord bless them, they bear a heavy weight. I want to always approach my pastor's wife as though she'll be the best friend I ever have and she'll come to appreciate me as a true friend. And if there's a bit of a glass wall between us, cut her some slack because I don't know what she's been through and love her anyhow.

<<<still slacking off the work! :spin: >>>

[survivor4christ]

And just think: when I first got saved, I actually wanted to be a pastor's wife! :goof:

I don't think so!!! :wah:

Too much drama!

Love, Sis. Wenona

[ddc101]

Sisters I count it a blessing to be a gift to the church.I don't think anyone would criticize the stores I shop at because here we don't have alot of choice.Also they would have a hard time criticizing the music as I am the only musician.They are just glad that now I am off every Sunday so I can play and its not accapella....haha....Anyway I am treated like a queen by some and dirt by others but I treat them all with love because one day those who treat me like dirt are going to repent and remember that I loved them when they were unlovable.But of course we don't have lots of money and aren't snobs either and work in home missions.In fact we are the biggest givers to this work.What I think needs to be conveyed to the church as a whole is that we are colaborers with Jesus Christ and this is a work crew with the word and gifts being our tools of the trade.Somebodys got to be the foreman.lv sis.c

[Prayerful Mom]

Sisters I count it a blessing to be a gift to the church.I don't think anyone would criticize the stores I shop at because here we don't have alot of choice.Also they would have a hard time criticizing the music as I am the only musician.They are just glad that now I am off every Sunday so I can play and its not accapella....haha....Anyway I am treated like a queen by some and dirt by others but I treat them all with love because one day those who treat me like dirt are going to repent and remember that I loved them when they were unlovable.But of course we don't have lots of money and aren't snobs either and work in home missions.In fact we are the biggest givers to this work.What I think needs to be conveyed to the church as a whole is that we are colaborers with Jesus Christ and this is a work crew with the word and gifts being our tools of the trade.Somebodys got to be the foreman.lv sis.c
Sis C. If we could all remember, myself included, that this is the way everyone should be treated then our church family would be so wonderful !

God Bless You

Sis. Lisa

[Abigail4476]

Everyone just calls me Sister Cooper because its what Bro.Cooper calls me.My close friends however call me Dana.
I believe in respect for one another.I also call the older sisters mostly by their last names unless they specify otherwise.I look up to the elder sister in respect.We have to keep the respect for those who watch for our souls or who are our elders.I also teach my children to respect elders whomever they may be.Also I want ot add that I am as comfortable as ever having anyone over to my house or out to eat or what ever regardless of who they are or what postion in church they hold.I do not keep a hands off and arms length approach to anybody.Many may not agree but we are all one big family of God and arms length may make them feel I do not have faults.I want the saints to grow and learn to hear from God for themselves.And if anytning I want them to feel like I am their for real sister...because I am...lv sis.c
My rule of thumb on the respectful "title" issue is, use the title (sis., bro., dr., elder, pastor, etc.) unless you are given express permission to do otherwise. That means you wait until they offer you the privilege...don't ask them if you can call them by their first name, because they may be privately offended but openly pressured into agreement.

As far as being friends? I choose my friends by similar interest and compatibility...same goes here...whether a woman is a pastor's wife or not is insignificant to my choice either way. If you are close friends, however, it is important to make sure that on all public venues you show due respect just as you would your husband were he a pastor, and reserve personal stuff for personal times. If you are not close friends, it is still vital to maintain a gracious relationship and remain available to the one woman in your church who may often have absolutely no one to talk to. (...the pastor's wife...)