Youth Pastor Needing Godly Counsel

[Shema]

Greetings in the name of Jesus. I am 31, married with six children. Recently my pastor asked that I take on the role of youth pastor at our church. This is something new to our church as we have never had a youth pastor before. We have been at this church for just under a year. When we arrived we immediately became very active in the teaching of the youth in Wednesday bible class, and Vacation Bible School. Over this time, as we began to not only teach the youth, but listened to what they had to say as well, we found that the youth contingent, while considerable in size, had an overwhelming sense of disenfranchisement from the church/adults.

To make a long story short, we brought our findings to our pastor and we wrote up a solution...at least a partial solution. We had no idea of what he was going to ask. Apparently he has been looking for someone to fill this role for a while.

In any event here is where my wife/assistant and I need help. Interestingly enough, while I know that the youth themselves will be a handful for us, it is not the youth that worry me because this really is something that they have been wanting...it is the existing youth staff that concerns me. The youth department has a president/vice president but what they have been doing really is planning activities for the youth...which is good...but activities alone are not going to save the youth or bring them closer to Christ. So I am sort of charged with fixing that.

So as youth pastor, these staff members are now in a position where they have to bring all ideas through me...etc. When our Pastor had "the meeting" with myself, the pres. and vice pres. to say that there was quite a bit of tension is an understatement. The two of them didn't say all that much, but the tone was there, and the body language was there. My pastor said to expect resistance and there is the start of it. So....does anyone have any advice for me and my wife?

[Abigail4476]

Greetings in the name of Jesus. I am 31, married with six children. Recently my pastor asked that I take on the role of youth pastor at our church. This is something new to our church as we have never had a youth pastor before. We have been at this church for just under a year. When we arrived we immediately became very active in the teaching of the youth in Wednesday bible class, and Vacation Bible School. Over this time, as we began to not only teach the youth, but listened to what they had to say as well, we found that the youth contingent, while considerable in size, had an overwhelming sense of disenfranchisement from the church/adults.

To make a long story short, we brought our findings to our pastor and we wrote up a solution...at least a partial solution. We had no idea of what he was going to ask. Apparently he has been looking for someone to fill this role for a while.

In any event here is where my wife/assistant and I need help. Interestingly enough, while I know that the youth themselves will be a handful for us, it is not the youth that worry me because this really is something that they have been wanting...it is the existing youth staff that concerns me. The youth department has a president/vice president but what they have been doing really is planning activities for the youth...which is good...but activities alone are not going to save the youth or bring them closer to Christ. So I am sort of charged with fixing that.

So as youth pastor, these staff members are now in a position where they have to bring all ideas through me...etc. When our Pastor had "the meeting" with myself, the pres. and vice pres. to say that there was quite a bit of tension is an understatement. The two of them didn't say all that much, but the tone was there, and the body language was there. My pastor said to expect resistance and there is the start of it. So....does anyone have any advice for me and my wife?

I strongly recommend that you read "Becoming A Person of Influence" by John Maxwell. :)

Two things:

1. Befriend the existing staff, whatever that takes, and work with them, not against them. Praise their ideas, work with what they're doing right, use the sandwich approach for things that aren't so great, and be genuinely nice.

2. Activities don't keep the youth saved, that's true. On the other hand, it offers bonding and relief for boredom, both very important factors for that age group. Try combining activities with devotions and spiritual things. Example: My daughter attended a lock-in, where they had a concert to start it off, played games and sports, and then they all got comfy and had a really nice devotional time and prayer.

Spirituality doesn't conflict with activities. It just needs to be incorporated into the activities. And incorporate fun into spiritual events. Some of the best sermons I can remember were the ones where the evangelist had us laughing so hard we couldn't hardly stand it, and then BOOM! he stuck in a serious, spiritual point while he had our undivided attention, and I never forgot it.

Okay, maybe two more things....:D

3. You can't influence people and insult them at the same time (whether that's outright, or just by implication). You need to be influential with both the youth and the existing staff, so tread carefully and respectfully. Trust and respect are earned.

4. Don't expect to be influential with young people simply because the pastor places you in a position. You have to establish relationships with the kids, get to know each of them in a positive way, remember their names, where they go to school, their interests, talk to them about the things they care about, and then when you have something to say, they'll be more likely to listen. I would suggest spending a few weeks really trying to get to know the kids and the staff at their activities, or maybe at some sort of get-together at your home, before you try to start anything new or different.

I suppose that's all. :beammeup:

[NanaRenan]

I can't add much to what Sister Abigail has said so well.

But I will add....both of you -- you and your wife -- need to find trusted, prayer-warrior friends and make them prayer partners. Someone you can call up when you are under spiritual attack and just say "Pray for me!" and know that they will, without hesitation or interrogation, just hit the floor praying for you.

I'm not trying to sound negative or be discouraging. The exact opposite. I praise you for recognizing the need and lifting the burden to bear. But, having been there before, myself, I do know the enemy will not like what you are attempting to do. He doesn't mind a bunch of young people who get together to hang out or do activities.....it keeps them preoccupied and they aren't getting in his way, because they aren't seeking deeper walks or spreading the Gospel. But as soon as you start to take them into more consecration and spirituality -- he will pull of the gloves and pick one fight after the other. And that's okay....as long as you recognize obstacles and criticisms for what they are -- tricks of the devil -- and don't take them personally and let yourself start to get hurt.

I'm sorry, I wasn't going to say much, but there it is. I will pray for you. And welcome to GNC.

God bless.