Ministers Wives

[ddc101]

I have heard it said that many ministers wives are extremely depressed from all the pressures of home and church.I say stressed maybe not depressed.But honestly no one knows how difficult it is to be married to a minster and know all their faults and private moments and then submit and be a helper and
not to forget for many of us our husbands are our pastors.Making it a salvation issue to keep your attitude in check.Not to mention keeping a sweet spirit and smiling face because GOD FORBID
anyone see you frowning or tottering under the load.lv sis.c

[Joan]

My pastor's wife has issues. She's not perfect. Thank God. Takes the pressure off me. Sometimes she's criticized and her feelings get hurt. She doesn't slap on a smile. She gently takes "whoever" aside and seeks out truth and reconciliation. Many times she confessed her faults. Every time she ever did, us ladies rallied around her and diligently sought the Lord on her behalf. Sometimes she was a little grumpy. This was a good indication that she needed some lifting up. Sometimes it was good indication that I/we were more focused on ourselves being treated the way we like instead of keeping focused on the work of the Kingdom or her needs. My pastor's wife allows us regular saints to do the work of ministry by being good enough to minister to her. She never insisted that only minister's wives were capable of ministering to her. Her struggles in the process of being perfected by Jesus has done nothing short of endearing her to us. She is highly respected because of her humility.

But then again, all saints are ministers (or are supposed to be) and if you're married, you're a minister's wife. And a minister.

[ddc101]

Sister Joan,
I know you take the stance that all saints are ministers.But I want to share with you that all saints are not elders and the elders who rule have wives and these women are under a great deal of pressure at times.This is what I originally meant.lv sis.c

[Joan]

Sis Ddc,

All I mean is that if we're all rowing in the same direction with our pastor's wife it can take the pressures off her that she isn't biblically called to bear simply by virtue of the fact that she's married to "the pastor". My pastor's wife is not required (certainly by scripture) to see that I am happy, getting my way, or having the right relationship with Christ. Nor is she responsible for being perfect in my sight. Her husband even isn't. I just want to point out that she is wonderful because she struggles with things just like I do and I would never want her to have to carry my knapsack when she has her own knapsack to carry. I like to lift her up so she can be all she is supposed to be for Christ.

You and I just may be in violent agreement about this. :-)

Joan

[ddc101]

Joan,
I doubt that I will be ever in violent disagreement with anyone.I have been save almost 20 years and thats way behind me so far I don't even remember what its like.
But I do believe your pastors wife has a lot of trials that you do not face due to the specific call of God on her life.

I am a pastors wife and also the ladies pastor at our church.
The Lord made Adam and from his side he took Woman.In unity we are one person under Gods headship.We operate in the ministry as such.This may be difficult for some to understand but its what God called us to do and be.There is no way that a married woman is separate from her husband.We are called as colaborers.Many ladies with minister husbands think it is HIS CALL and sit depressed etc.Not so.God puts two people together to fullfill his will in their lives.lv sis.c

[Joan]

ddc, I said violent AGREEMENT. It was a joke a friend of mine would say when he and someone else agreed on something but said it in a different way.

[Joan]

I'm really sorry about that. <with sincere humility>

[justavessel4him]

Sis Joan,
I just wanted to say that I think you said some good things. I do agree with sis c that minister's wives and especially pastor's wives often carry a heavy load, but I also agree with you that sometimes the load is heavier than it should be. I believe as you do that it is not her responsibility to keep our relationship right with the Lord. It is our responsibility. I also think it is the saints responsibility to pray for and encourage the pastor's wife. We are to do all to edifying. We should all edify each other. I agree with you that we all have ministries as we become mature saints. I do not believe that women can be used in a preaching ministry, but there are many areas of ministration and we should all be of service to one another. That's what makes the body a live function organism. I believe that all elder's wives are called to carry a heavy load of responsibility, but when the Lord calls someone, he equips them with whatever they need to fulfill that calling. I think one thing that makes a minister's wife's life more difficult is that many times they get so focused on everyone elses problems and needs that they neglect their personal walk with God. I have always been taught that your personal walk with God comes first, your family second, and your ministry, whatever it may be is next. I believe this is good sound teaching. If your walk with God is not secure you cannot lead someone else, and if you can't take care of the natural and spiritual needs of your family, how can you take care of the needs of a others. Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that anyone here is neglecting their walk with God, only that it is a common accurance and something to keep in mind. It is easy to get overwhelmed with all the responsibilities if we don't keep our focus on Jesus. I was attending a minister's conference a few years ago, and a sister spoke to the wives. She said something that I identified with so well at that time in my life and it has stuck with me ever since. She was a pastor's wife and she said that one day she felt so exhausted and she just sat down on the steps of the church to rest. She looked around her and was surprised to see that all the trees were green and flowers were blooming. Spring had come and she had not even realized it. She was so caught up with doing, and the cares of her life that she failed to see the new life all around her. I learned a valuable lesson from her that day.Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden light. Sometimes we have to do like David did and encourage ourselves in the Lord, and sometimes like you said, we have to let others encourage us. Sometimes it might be the least likely member of the body who can bless us the most. Maybe a new convert or a little child. In any case, his grace is sufficient and his strength is made perfect in weakness.

[ddc101]

The blessing that happened to me is God sending me ladies to help carry some of the load.Especially the cooking and cleaning the church.Only Jesus can do this.He sends handmaidens to help minister unto him.We are just old timey I guess and like to fix rather than eat out.lv sis.c