A Talking Fish?

[dllong]

The small Jewish Skver sect of Hasidim (New Square, N.Y.) was energized in March when a fishcutter in the sect (along with his Christian co-worker) swore they heard a 20-pound carp shout apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew. The co-worker thought the carp was merely Satanic, but Zalmen Rosen, 57, said the fish's soul was cautioning that the end is near, perhaps because of war in Iraq. Although the news spread throughout the community (aided by a feature in The New York Times), the carp itself met an inglorious end when the co-worker butchered it and sold it for gefilte fish.


Unbeleivable!

Dave

[Goodshepherd]

Bro. Dave, I tried to understand what this is saying but it is not making any sense to me................. I was told by many that I can be very gullible at times and I definately think that this is one of those times................ can you explain to me what is being said?

God bless you!

[Xerf]

A Yiddish speaking carp! I can dig it. I once caught a fish that claimed to be Charlie Tuna's cousin, but I knew he was lying because he was a Big Mouth Bass! He was fillet' and summarily fried for his lie (all liars have thier part in the fire!)

[ddc101]

I suppose if a fish can come up with Peters tax money one can talk as well.lv sis.c

[Sandy]

Xerf, may I quote you on that one? hahahahaha

[Xerf]

You may quote me, however, your fish may not!


Speaking of speaking animals, I heard about a dog that could speak (speak boy speak!). But this said dog spoke or rather sang, so it was told, the American Anthem and he was soon shoot (blind fold and all) against a kennel wall, seems he was discovered to be a spy--being a Russian Wolf Hound!

[Xerf]

Also to keep everyone up to date concerning Mr. Ed (the talking horse of the 60's [some of you snotty nosed kids will have no clue])

Well Mr. Ed retired from show business as a bachelor but later found a talking mare and they were united in horseamony sometime later.

Proved to be rather a bad match because the mare was constantly saying things like, "trot down to the store and get so and so," and "wipe your hoofs before coming inside," and "get your mane outta my face," and "when you've heard me say it, you've heard it from the horse's mouth."

Yep, you guessed it--she finally NAGged Mr Ed to death.


(stay tuned--more to come on the wonderful world of "Animals say the strangest things!")

[stmatthew]

AMAZING DOG

A Church of Christ preacher and his wife decided they needed a dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a member of the Church of Christ. They visited an expensive kennel and explained their needs to the manager, who assured them he had just the dog for them. The dog was produced and the manager said, "Fetch the Bible."

The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the manager. The manager then said "Find Psalms 23". The dog, showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed thru the Bible, found the correct passage, and pointed to it with his paw. Duly impressed, the couple purchased the dog. That evening, several members of the congregation came to visit. The preacher and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were amazed. Finally, one man asked, "Can he do normal dog tricks too?"

"Let's see" said the preacher. Pointing his finger at the dog, he commanded "Heel!" The dog immediately jumped up on a chair, placed one paw on the preacher's forehead and began to howl.

The preacher turned to his wife and exclaimed "Good grief, we've bought a Pentecostal dog!"

[Apostolic Kitty]

That was a real groaner, Xerf.... :P

[Xerf]

No Fooling
This was taken from an article "Talking Animals."


At the end of last year,72 year old Vincent Owando Liech from the Nyando district of Kenya was herding his cows when a dark cloud descended and the waters of a nearby pond divided like the biblical Red Sea. A voice told the pious farmer to follow his animals across the pond,which he did.All the cows resumed grazing on the far side,except one,upon which an angel appeared carrying a book. When the book was opened,the cow spoke, saying ;" You must construct a new church which should be dedicated to prayer for peace.Do not say you were not warned." The message was made public in Kisumu on December 30,and garnered widespread support. In many parts of Africa,portentous messages are often delivered by animals. According to Ugandan state radio in June 1992,a goat proclaimed that the AIDS epidemic was a divine punishment for disobeying the Ten Commandments.The goat spoke in a "loud,terrifying voice" to the villagers of Kyabagala,in Mukono district,but died a few hours later. Back in August 1978,thousands of Ugandans believed that a tortoise was prophesying trouble for President Amin. The story worried the government so much that officials,police and loyal chiefs held several crisis meetings and denounced the entire population "always drunk with rumours".Amin himself held a press conference in which he threatened to put anyone trading in such stories before a firing squad. According to the Ugandan government's own report,the mysterious enfundu (tortoise) waddled into a local village police station and demanded to be taken to the town of Jinja just outside Kampala.Once there,it asked for a private audience with the provincial governor and police commissioner,having a message for their ears only. Whether or not there was any truth in the rumour of the magical oracle,the two officials wished to avoid the wrath of Amin,and hastily denounced and denied the story. The last report of the tortoise was that it was "under arrest" in Kampala jail.....but the jailers too,were quick to deny that. Batyr,the talking elephant of Kazakhstan,passed away in Karaganda Zoo in September 1993.Batyr first became famous in 1977 when a nightwatchman reported hearing the eight year old Indian elephant talking to himself.Boris Kosinsky,the deputy director of the zoo,was sceptical,but paid the prattling pachyderm a visit. "Batyr good boy.Go away," said Batyr.The news spread throughout the Soviet Union and the zoo's attendances shot up. A recording of Batyr saying "Batyr is good","Batyr is hungry" and using words such as "drink" and "give" was played on Kazakh state radio in 1980;and by 1983,Batyr's vocabulary had risen to 20 phrases,including the local equivalent of "Have you watered the elephant?"

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How about that animal fans!

[BroDane]

I feel this is another ABTTTGYMOG catagory:

Anything But The Truth To Get Your Mind Off God

I guess I dont have anytime for fantasies..LOL

[Xerf]

That's what Toto said!!!!

[nightwatchman]

Sound's awful fishy to me!

[truemessianic]

OK, this thread smells like a dead fish!!!
(Sorry, just had to say it!)