What Do You Get When You Cross a ..........

[Xerf]

What do ya get when you cross a:

A FC with a ThirdGen – A psychopath who logically explains (for 2 hours) why he/she is going to kill you!

A Brother John with a Dane – A simple but networked Dog Outhouse!

A Dale with Abraham Lincoln – A president who asassinates himself!

A InHisService with an Egg – A colourless Oval!

A Hebrews with a Bottle – A Malakoff Cocktail!

A Apostle with a Mfblume – A resurrected spirit of a Maple Leaf!

A Miss Kitty (aka – ak) with a FC – A cat and dog fight!

A Tufluv with a 18 Wheeler – A truck that runs over you, sweetly!

(more to come………….)

:D

[Apostolic Kitty]

Xerf, your true identity might be a mystery, but this proves you've been doing a whole lot of reading. However, I'm not fully convinced FC is canine.

[truemessianic]

What do you get when you cross XERF and me?
A 350 lbs. Presidential candidate!!!
XERF FOR PRESIDENT!!!

[Xerf]

AND what do you get when you cross a Chicken with a Street...............................



:)

[BroDane]

I dunno Xerf, But why dont you just stand there in the middle of the Road while I call on Sweet Tufluv..DONT MOVE!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Kerrrrsplat!!!!:eek:

[Webmaster]

Sunday dinner?

[tufluv]

GOOD ONE! Bro. DANE!

(no offense, XERF, you are the last one I'd run over...one other, MAYBE-he knows who he is!) heheh! :D
ROADKILL par excell-ans!

[Xerf]

Miss Kitty, I am soooooooo sorry I didn't mean to insult your dog!

:)

(A fellow by the Name Of Hallett, asked me to say that)

[Xerf]

What do you get when you cross a Bro. Rutledge with.......................on second thought, never cross Bro. Rutledge with anything..................

:yeah:

[servant]

Xerf,
Hello, my astute alter-ego!

Serv :)

[Xerf]

What do you get when you cross a Serv with a Xerf -- A really neat and soft servant you can safely throw around in the house -- a NerfSerf!


":)"

[servant]

In my case, someone you kick around the house!

Serv :)

[Xerf]

What do you get when you cross a Andoniyah with a Pulpit -- A looooooooooong sermon! (but good)

Really he's doesn't preach long at all.........he does have a bit of a problem about starting and ending, but the middle 10 minutes of preaching are awesome!




:)

[John Atkinson]

What do you get when you cross Xerf with a Maine Lobster = Surf and Xerf!

[tufluv]

Yum, I'm hungry! Thats cute, Surf & Xerf!
NOW we know why you stay there in Yanks-ville, the fresh SEAFOOD! MaineLobster? Wow, they gotta be shipped in over here, you are much closer there.
Of course, :jk: we know there are even BETTER reasons, that excellent church! pastor, brethren, etc., who could ask for more!

[John Atkinson]

The reality, sister is that I hate seafood. A lobster is nothing more than an aquatic bug. I don't eat bugs. Fish? if it aint Bass or catfish, I ain't much interested.

Pass the Chili and barbeque please :D

[bishop1]

I don't want to cross any one -

BUT -

- what would a hen and OldPreach have in common -

if they were in the middle of a marked two lane road ?


{They both would be Laying It On The Line}

[tufluv]

Now there's some TEXAS grub! bro.john.
Aquatic bug? Heheh! lol
I thought about it later, that it seems you prefer beef, remembering you had mentioned wanting to make some bbq brisket and that "chocolate-y" chili, but I left my post as is. I can relate to the lobster, I myself have never much taken to them, or snow crab legs, they are just not all they are "cracked" up to be (no pun intended)! :D
I don't see what all the fuss is about lobsters, I've tried them, no biggie. But now as for shrimp, there's my style., and of course, fish! I like reds, red snapper, trout, speckled trout, but not KING fish, they're found in the gulf of mexico, my husband brought home some shark also, recently, but its too gross for me, I could not eat it. Oh, and lets not forget Flounder-uum umm goo-ood!
:tup:
FISH is better for us healthwise than beef, but beef sure is good. Why is all the good stuff bad for us!? :confused:
[make note to ask GOD in the sweet bye&bye!]
Bon appetit!

[tufluv]

HEHEH! HEHEH! ROFL

Good one, Bro.Holland!

[Xerf]

Tufluv DON'T encourage him............................. :)

[bishop1]

What would you get
if you crossed a 52x24x52 CDRW with Xerf ?

{A smart mouth answer that would go on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and - - - - - - - -- - -- - - - -
:bow: :D :o ::p :angel:

[Xerf]

SEE I TOLD YA!! Now we will have to put up with him all the time!!

......................

What do you get when you cross a Bishop1 with a Monkey -- a deranged Chimp!


-------------------------



Banaaaaaaaaaaana time :) :rolleyes:

[truemessianic]

What do you get when you mix XERF and a B-52?
Even bigger bombs!!!!

[searching]

One has to wonder if left out of this thread, is it a good thing?

Me...

[tufluv]

Yes, dear Searching, it is a good thing-NEVER to cross you!
lol

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Xerf
Miss Kitty, I am soooooooo sorry I didn't mean to insult your dog!

Which one? LOL

That's my Zoe girl on the profile now. She's just three months old. I've done three of my menagerie....I have 7 more to display for the future. lol

[stmatthew]

When you cross a stmatthew with a searching??


An IRS man auditing your taxes :D

(there sis searching. you are not left out now :))

[ThirdGeneration]

Originally posted by stmatthew
When you cross a stmatthew with a searching??

An IRS man auditing your taxes :D

StMatt- SALOL (Spinning Around Laughing Out Loud) :spin:

[Faithchild]

Xerf, you've got to be Stan Hallett. The meglomania, the pretentious superiority, the willingness to ridicule, the smug detachment. Of course by choosing the avatar that you have, it's obvious that Xerf's Turf is always a spin-zone.

The FC/ApostaKat fight? It's readily apparent who is the schizo from Animal Planet. The cat/dog-fight is in her own "stilled"(magnolia) mind.

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Faithchild
The FC/ApostaKat fight? It's readily apparent who is the schizo from Animal Planet. The cat/dog-fight is in her own "stilled"(magnolia) mind.

I've never been anything but nice to you, but you continually insist on being nasty toward me.

ETA: And, yes, that bothers me...

[Faithchild]

ApostaKat, that's my whole point. Get REAL! Scream! SHOUT! Get hurt! Get mad! Sweat! Stink! Puke! Or in your case, snarl! Claw! Hiss! Arch your back! Swish your tail! Bark! Growl! Bite! Irrigate a fire plug! Mark your turf! Just quit posting these canned sugar cookie responses for public consumption and then contacting Admin privately by e-mail. Drop all of your masks and be the person you are. It's nice to deal with someone who is genuine.

I'm sure I'd like that person.

[stmatthew]

Thats right,

Listen to the guy there with the hippie Jesus avatar!!


hehehe

[Webmaster]

ST Matt....don't get anything going...only room for one running fued....hehehe

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Faithchild
ApostaKat, that's my whole point. Get REAL! Scream! SHOUT! Get hurt! Get mad! Sweat! Stink! Puke! Or in your case, snarl! Claw! Hiss! Arch your back! Swish your tail! Bark! Growl! Bite! Irrigate a fire plug! Mark your turf! Just quit posting these canned sugar cookie responses for public consumption and then contacting Admin privately by e-mail. Drop all of your masks and be the person you are. It's nice to deal with someone who is genuine.

I'm sure I'd like that person.

FC, I am real. I don't even know how to be phony. I only scream at my husband, son, cats and dogs. And, guess what....I have to repent for it every time -- even when I'm right in why I yelled sometimes.

I did get hurt -- by you. I only never admitted it to you before today, but, of course, I never realized it till today when I felt you were being nasty again toward me. It doesn't "anger" me, it bums me out. I tried to befriend you and I felt you belittled me..and, not only that, but I felt you singled me out.

Then my husband foolishly posted things about how we got married and I felt that some folks on GNC were nasty about it, but, then again, he completely embarassed me by doing it in the first place -- and, yes, I yelled at him about that, too. I felt it was disrespectful of him to post such things about us the way he did without asking me how I felt about it -- it's my marriage, too.

I came back to give this place another chance b/c I don't really like to leave things a mess like that. I like peace. I get enough headaches from other sources -- don't need that here. Besides, God has called us to be peaceable. Has he not??

I have gotten mad, but God said to be "angry and sin not" -- not "be mad and claw up your bretheren". I was tempted to say some nasty things to you, but that's wrong and would not accomplish anything good.

And, I honestly, did not feel the proper thing to do was to air our "differences" in public in such a way -- it's like taking a brother outside the "church" building and having a fist fight for the whole world to see. Would you want to go to a church that had that if you were a heathen?? Well, maybe you would in your aggressive, testosterone-filled nature (lol), but I wouldn't....I don't think although there have been times in WalMart that I have fantacized about ramming people with my cart when they've been in the way.

Anyhow, God tells us to handle problems with one another differently than that. Am I wrong in trying to do it the way I understand He says to??

[tufluv]

I myself have been pondering about StanHallett being XERF, [not that it reallyreally matters]but not for the same reasons mentioned above.

[Apostolic Kitty]

St. Matt & Mlflemming: I don't know if y'all are just being silly or if y'all are trying to say that you see me as being some phoney person, so clarify.

And, hey, if all of you other people here don't like me the way I am, let me know because I really can't stand being smiled to in the face while being stabbed -- maybe that's what FC feels I've done to him. I have no clue. IF so I apologize. I can say this -- I do appreciate him being blunt with how he thinks I am -- even if he is wrong and it bothers me.

[tufluv]

You can exclude me out of that category, dear AK, anyone who loves animals, can't be bad at all...I bet some whom called themselves Apostolic are in the category of animal-haters!
Whadda think? To err is human...to deliberately err...is evil!
:eek:

[Apostolic Kitty]

LOL...

Tufluv, when I was first considering using "apostolic kitty" as my handle I did a web search to see if I could find anything on it. I did -- I found an apostolic who said he hated cats. I wanted to write him and give him a piece of my mind, but with my RSI, I chose not to. In fact, I shouldn't be typing now. My hand has been hurting me all week! Grrr.

[stmatthew]

Sis Kitty,

My posts are either completely serious, or completely meant to be taken humorous. I ahve no ill feelings toward you, or your husband for that matter. I have thought about his well being since I saw you posting again, but just have not mentioned it. I cannot speak for Bro Yohe (who could??:) ), but I would feel a lose to the GNC if you, or anyone here, left. We are a family. Some may be the blacksheep (FC hehehe), but a family none the less.


O K , seriously, it seems that my post offended you, so I humbly appologize to you.

[Faithchild]

AK, 'Nuff said. I'm ready to get past it.

Stmatthew, I'm the guy Jesus is ministering to.

[Hebrews116]

AK, it isn't that FC is trying to single you out as someone he doesn't like; he doesn't like ANYONE who doesn't agree with his "challenge everything and everyone" mentality. He see's anyone who seeks peace as weak, feable minded, afraid of confrontations, and phony. While I myself agree with little that FC has to say, if you can just get past his rough, self-centered, arogant, (in my opinion) phony exterior, and try to hear what he's really trying to say, every once in a while, he says something that just blows my mind that after thinking about it, I do have to agree with. Just don't take what he says personally. That's what he thrives on. If he knows he can push your buttons, he's gonna do it. It takes time to learn this. I had to learn it the hard way. He used to really get me going. The more I reacted, the more it fed him. I finally decided to stop reacting, and it stopped feeding him. And like I said, every once in a while, he actually says something intelligent, and even starts threads with hard questions that most of us wouldn't even address had he not brought it up. I hope this helps you with him, sis. If not, then just flush it.

God Bless

[Faithchild]

Hebrews116, thanks for your honesty. I know it took effort.

[Hebrews116]

FC, whether I want to admit it or not, I will say you've forced me to do some re-evaluating of myself from time to time. I have learned that I don't have to agree with you to respect you. :beammeup:

God Bless!

[Webmaster]

AK, I am just trying to humor over the situation, I have no ill feelings towards anyone on this forum that I know of, I want to make heaven my home.

Bro. Flemming

[Faithchild]

Hebrews116, you know I get uncomfortable when people get gooey. Thanks.

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by stmatthew
My posts are either completely serious, or completely meant to be taken humorous. I ahve no ill feelings toward you, or your husband for that matter. I have thought about his well being since I saw you posting again, but just have not mentioned it. I cannot speak for Bro Yohe (who could??:) ), but I would feel a lose to the GNC if you, or anyone here, left. We are a family. Some may be the blacksheep (FC hehehe), but a family none the less.

O K , seriously, it seems that my post offended you, so I humbly appologize to you.

St. Matt, I really didn't know how to take your post. I thought there was a possibility I was just being hypersensitive, but I wanted to be sure. That's why I asked you to clarify. I'm glad you were just playing around. I am perfectly okay with just playing around...I think that might be obvious by some of my other posts even though I am pathetic at making original jokes. I'm much funnier in person.

As far as black sheep go, I'm a bit partial. I've always been a black sheep type. I'm the black sheep of my natural family -- the only apostolic.

As for my husband, just keep praying for him. I covet your prayers for him. I love him dearly, but he is so difficult sometimes...

[Hebrews116]

Originally posted by Apostolic Kitty
As for my husband, just keep praying for him. I covet your prayers for him. I love him dearly, but he is so difficult sometimes...


Sis. AK, may I recommend to both you and your husband, that you get and read, for yourself, "The Power of a Praying Wife", and for Bro.Ireland, "The Power of a Praying Husband."

There's also "The Power of a Praying Woman" that my wife also says is good. It has things in it that are just "woman related" regardless of marital status.

These books have really helped to bring peace into my household. You should be able to find them at your friendly neighborhood Christian bookstore.

God Bless!

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Hebrews116
AK, it isn't that FC is trying to single you out as someone he doesn't like; he doesn't like ANYONE who doesn't agree with his "challenge everything and everyone" mentality. He see's anyone who seeks peace as weak, feable minded, afraid of confrontations, and phony. While I myself agree with little that FC has to say, if you can just get past his rough, self-centered, arogant, (in my opinion) phony exterior, and try to hear what he's really trying to say, every once in a while, he says something that just blows my mind that after thinking about it, I do have to agree with. Just don't take what he says personally. That's what he thrives on. If he knows he can push your buttons, he's gonna do it. It takes time to learn this. I had to learn it the hard way. He used to really get me going. The more I reacted, the more it fed him. I finally decided to stop reacting, and it stopped feeding him. And like I said, every once in a while, he actually says something intelligent, and even starts threads with hard questions that most of us wouldn't even address had he not brought it up. I hope this helps you with him, sis. If not, then just flush it.

That does help me tremendously....and what's scary about it is that it reminds me much of my husband.... what an aggrivating man! :D

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Faithchild
AK, 'Nuff said. I'm ready to get past it.

FC, now that I am beginning to understand where you are coming from, I am too. I feel this is resolved and I find peace in that.

Seems as long as I keep in mind that you are just a royal pain in the behind by nature who really means no harm I should be fine.

:p

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Hebrews116
Sis. AK, may I recommend to both you and your husband, that you get and read, for yourself, "The Power of a Praying Wife", and for Bro.Ireland, "The Power of a Praying Husband."

There's also "The Power of a Praying Woman" that my wife also says is good. It has things in it that are just "woman related" regardless of marital status.

These books have really helped to bring peace into my household.

You know, I have considered reading those books a few times, but have not. They have come up a lot lately...I suppose it's time to take a hint, eh?

Sometimes I can be so dense...maybe I should die my hair blonde...:D

[Hebrews116]

Originally posted by Apostolic Kitty
You know, I have considered reading those books a few times, but have not. They have come up a lot lately...I suppose it's time to take a hint, eh?

Sis. AK, I CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH for any husband, "The Power of a Praying Husband" either. Speaking from experience, a rough and difficult marriage as a result of one of the parties being difficult MUST TAKE TWO to make it better. You can do all you can alone, but there comes a time when the burden to change WILL HAVE to fall on him. So, ask and see if he would be willing to read, "The Power of a Praying Husband" with you as your read "The Power of a Praying Wife." You can even sit down together as you LEARN about your spouse through the books and ask each other questions if this is how they really feel. It's quite an eye opener to learn HOW your spouse thinks and feels.

God Bless!

[Xerf]

You better be glad FC that I no longer have the power to pull the "dump this dweeb" handle!! HAHAHA! :)


Be afraid...........be very afraid................ (those were the good old days!)

:)

[foreverblessed]

Apostolic Kitty,

Now just forget that I am a divorced women for a moment :) I don't know if Stormie Omaritan would want me pushing her book or not :laugh:, but ...............Power of a Praying Wife is an excellent book, and It was my second bible for a long while. Believe me, if God ever blesses me to be married again, I will read it often just to help keep me on track! :) God worked an absolute miracle in my life after reading this book, actually it all started with my 31'st birthday, in 1998. God restored a very broken marriage through the help of this book.

I highly recommend it to any women, regardless of whether your marriage is good, or needs some help.

[searching]

St. Matt, you just too funny man.

But auditing me would be a waste of your time....I don't have anything for you do audit!!!

Me...

Pick on Faithchild...he needs auditing. I hear he owns nice things that Apostolics shouldn't own..........LOL!!!!!

[Faithchild]

AK, if that was an olive branch it's good you don't work for the diplomatic corp.

Bro. Hallett, I'm glad you pulled the plug on yourself. It was a noble gesture that allowed Bro. John to practice the forgiveness you are incapable of. No hard feelings. Just once bitten, twice shy.

Admin, Bro. Hallett called me a psychopath. Is that permissible? Is favortism being shown here? Why is he back? You're not late on your payments, are you?

Searching, with VCR's attached.

[Xerf]

FC we've got to stop meeting this way!

:rolleyes:

:)

[John Atkinson]

Xerf is not Bro Hallett

[Webmaster]

Hmmm......who else had the power to pull the plug? If we can answer that, we will find the answer to the XERF mystery.

[Xerf]

That all depends on WHAT handle you are speaking of flem........

Commode Handle

Ejection Seat Handle

Dump Bed Handle

ect, etc...................


:)

BTW..............WHO is Stan Hallett?

:) ;)

[Xerf]

Besides I'm still trying to get the taste of FC outta my mouth!!





:jk:

[Webmaster]

Originally posted by Xerf
You better be glad FC that I no longer have the power to pull the "dump this dweeb" handle!! HAHAHA! :)


Be afraid...........be very afraid................ (those were the good old days!)

:)

The handle you mentioned above XERF!

Bro. Flemming:D

[Faithchild]

Xerf, if you're not Bro. Hallett, I apologize. Four posters were baiting me, I predictably responded, and I got the heave ho. The four were allowed to remain. I never got a "fair" hearing. If you're not a former moderator I don't understand the "dweep-dumping remark" Btw, you've gotten away with more personal attacks that any other poster in history. Just because you giggle when you do it doesn't change what you've actually posted. Are you blood relatives with Bro. John? Hold the note on the GNC's financing?

[Xerf]

OH, THAT handle................well that goes way back to the time I was part of a talent show computer program, and, ya see, there were all these talent challenged dobs that were given a time to do strut their stuff, like singing, standing on their heads, swallowing gold fish, sawing their mother-in-law in half and other various and sundry talents............and when the audience "boo factor" reached the red line.............ME, the dweeb dumper..........PULLED THE HANDLE ...........voila.........one less dweeb!!

FC wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds on that stage!!


hehe :) haha

[Webmaster]

:) SORRY I ASKED! hehehe

I know FC can be a bit acidic, but hey, he does make it interesting around here. I have come to respect his opinions. Also, I think you add a good ingredient to the mix....now as soon as I figure out what that ingredient is.........

[Xerf]

FC...........because I see no emoticons in your remarks, I suspose that means you are ticked..............for this I am truly sorry...........I will henceforth refrain from crossing wits with you. You have my apology for any slight...........

Bro. John, bears NO guilt -- it was alone mine.


(I tend to get carried away sometimes and you seem to extract so much from by storehouse of weak and puny comebacks....it was a challenge..................oh well................I return my lip to its sheath and bid you.............GOd bless!)

[O2blikehim]

ROTFL!! You guys are absolutely NUTS!

[Faithchild]

I'm not ticked. I'm bored.

[Xerf]

Yes I knew you were a carrier..................but I didn't know you had the disease!!




(THAT was the last one .................I promise (X)............

[Xerf]

hahaha!....................I should have known!!!!! He got in the wrong (booth) and was wisked away to some sand dune (no doubt a conspiracy formulated by cabinet members that got tired of having to look up to the man)!

Some of Ben's speeches do have that "four score" twang to them!

.......... But they couldn't fool you, not for long anyway ..............

[searching]

Xerf, FC doesn't like emoticons, and that's what has him upset. If you are gonna offend him, do it without those smilies!!!

LOL, you know I am just messing with ya FC!

Me...

[Xerf]

Awwwwwwwwwwww the guy's a real teddy bear!

(stuffed and beaded eyes)




:jk:

[bishop1]

:mad: :confused:

What Do You Get

When You Cross A FaithChild

With An Apostolic Kitty ?

:confused: :confused:

{we just found out }
a screamin scratchin feline youngun!

:beammeup: :bow:

[Webmaster]

Originally posted by Xerf
OH, THAT handle................well that goes way back to the time I was part of a talent show computer program, and, ya see, there were all these talent challenged dobs that were given a time to do strut their stuff, like singing, standing on their heads, swallowing gold fish, sawing their mother-in-law in half and other various and sundry talents............and when the audience "boo factor" reached the red line.............ME, the dweeb dumper..........PULLED THE HANDLE ...........voila.........one less dweeb!!

FC wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds on that stage!!


hehe :) haha

Well, ok Xerf. I believe you. It's just that I keep hearing voices singing about you. If I made the words out right, it went, "Liar, Liar, motherboard, processor and RAM on fire........."

[Apostolic Kitty]

Hebrews and Forever:

Thanks a bunch. I emailed a friend of mine who asked me if I wanted to borrow her copy several months ago asking her to send it to me... but if it's so good that it's like a second bible she might not get it back! LOL

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Faithchild
AK, if that was an olive branch it's good you don't work for the diplomatic corp.


Oh, man! I'll have to quit my "other job" then...

[Apostolic Kitty]

bishop:

:P

[bishop1]

S O R R Y !

that ole Xerf spirit musta jumped on me .

Oh Well
back
to
the
prayer
room
for
me.

[tufluv]

It is CATCHING, Bro.Bishop!, or rather, it brings out the old Xerf in us all!! Heheh :D

[Apostolic Kitty]

Yeah, right, Bishop! That's just the real you coming out! LOL

Hmmmm..... maybe Bishop is Xerf????????? :)

[tufluv]

Ye-e-a-a-h-h!! MAY BE! Hmmm....smart cookie, that AK!

[bishop1]

I thought of Xerf today
then I repented.

But In Everything - GIVE THANKS

That reminded me of the following tail;

The ole cat finally went ahead and died -
- and she was scratching at the Pearly Gates -
When St. Peter decided to let him in -
You've been a pretty good faithful cat,
you have slept on a hard floor -
- - so here is a soft pillow to sleep on .

A few days later 6 mice were accidentally killed -
at the pearly gates were told of the cat's good fortune -
they begged St. Peter to let them in -
"Why Not ' replied St. Peter -
"and I suppose you want pillows also" -
'Oh No" chimmed the mice in unison, -
We've been chased by cats and women with brooms - -
We Want Roller Blades So We Can Really Zoooom !
So St. Peter decided to oblige

A Week later St. Peter was walking_
And saw the fat cat purring and on her back -
St. Peter asked the cat "how do you like the pillow"?
"Fine" she replied " and the Meals On Wheels were devine"


Xerf, Xerf, Xerf, Xerf!
{I meant Ha - Ha - Ha - Ha---

[Xerf]

NOW I know how Paul felt when ................."there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger ....... to buffet me...."

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghh!!


:)

[bishop1]

AND ALL OF THE FIREY DARTS - - - - - -

[BroDane]

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Its Works! Try it!

[Xerf]

Yeah, AMEN...........I sure hope that rat Bishop1 comes by to read this...........HE really needs it!!





:jk:

[bishop1]

What would you get
If you cross a Xerf
with a smurf ?

:confused:

"A icky blue stuffed dummy
- -with no braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin"

:D :beammeup: :bow: :bow:

[Xerf]

See what I mean.......................... haha!

[bishop1]

Two skunks saw a blue Xerf -
and they didn,t know what to say -
luckily they were near a Church -
and took the time to stop and spray !

{now you don't have to see him coming}

[foreverblessed]

ha ha... Xerf the smurf, I have been calling him that for a little while when making reference to him in emails and conversations. :) Poor Xerf.

Bet you didn't know that you were the hot topic of people's converstations did you Xerf?? LOL

Now just who is our Xerf the smurf? Enquiring minds still want to know. :D

[bishop1]

:D :D
xERF;
MY APOLIGIES FOR
COMPARING YOU WITH
A BLUE SMURF -

SOMEONE E-MAILED ME
TO INFORM THAT IT WAS CRUEL -

I'm truely sorry,
I did'nt mean to INSULT
'the blue smurf'
:D :D :bow: :bow: :D :D

[Xerf]

(I gave my Mother his email address)

:)

[BroRutledge]

This thread is so funny. I have really enjoyed it, and I needed the laugh.

I spent many years in my youth listening to XERF in Texas. Xerf are you associated with that radio station?

God bless
BroRutledge

[Xerf]

XERF -- XEG -- XELO

Were all pirate Radio Stations working out of Mexico --but beamed to USA with incredible wattage power.

All the old radio preachers were once on the agenda:

Rev Ike (you can't lose with the stuff I use)

E. E. Duncan (the one all the other divine healers called when they got sick)

David Epley (sending out anointed sweat-soaked prayer cloths)

And many other such like...................


BUT to answer your question............NO.....I am in no way connected with that station.

Xerf -- an acronmy................or perhaps a name given to a kid by a mother that was tired of long names..........or..................well........... ......many have quessed.........none have scored..............

:)

[bishop1]

This is Reverand Ike
and I'm speaking in tongues
coming to you live
from Del Rio !


xERF
Are You Rev.IKE ?
:D :confused: :cool: :beammeup: :bow: :eek:

[Xerf]

<<Y O U GUESSED!!>>>............BONG!................BONG!!


:)

[tufluv]

You're kidding, right?
No-o-o, I didn't really want to know!! Guessing is more fun!
Gives us something to look forward to...NOW WHAT? as the gang running behind Forrest Gump asked,when he decided to stop running!
Back to the chalkboard!(or is that 'old drawing board')?
p.s. That really did not qualify as a guess, it was stated by XERF!
Practically gave it away! Bishop1, you're still a genius! :D

[Xerf]

I'm kidding, yes! Rev. Ike is not I and I am not he! :)~

:rolleyes:

[Xerf]

What do ya get when ya cross a:

A Sandy with a Committed -- A beach in a straitjacket!

:rolleyes:

[Xerf]

What do ya get when ya cross a:

A Searching with a Razorback -- A shaver looking for a Shavee!

[Xerf]

What do ya get when ya cross a:

A Adonyiah with a Steingass -- a really old mug!


:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

What do you get
when you cross
an xERF
with an elephant?






I don't know
and







I'm

Not

Sticking

Around

To

Find

Out !

[Xerf]

why you ninny!! you get a Xerfelant!!!!!!!...... don't ya no nutin' ?


:rolleyes"

[bill]

XERF, You are really funny. :)

[Adoniyah]

Well...

This old mug has finally figured it out...I believe.

xerf can be none other than our distinguished, illustrious host: namely John Atkinson manifested in the flesh.

whadayathink?

[bill]

Maybe xerf is Adoniyah? Hmmm...

[Apostolic Kitty]

Originally posted by Adoniyah
xerf can be none other than our distinguished, illustrious host: namely John Atkinson manifested in the flesh.

whadayathink?

He has already denied such allegations.

[Bro.Steingass]

Steingass is German for Stone Street, so a cross between an Adoniyah and a Steingass is a well-respected, seasoned road.

I am the only smurf here

[Xerf]

Stone street huh? Well, the a cross between Steingass and Adoniyah could be =

The Adoniyah Way

or

A Hard Path to Glory

or

A Texas Cobble-r


:rolleyes:

[Xerf]

Stein, Your smugness of smurfself is sigularly sycotic!


:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

Umm... did you mean psychotic? :-)

[Xerf]

Sycotic:

"sycotic personalities produces a skeptical, non-believer style of thinking. People with strong sycotic miasms are very hard to convince, for example, that a new medicine or a different viewpoint may be beneficial for them or that their life will ever improve. They are often sullen, irritable, and fixed in their ideas. It also shares a manic-depression quality that is similarly found in the polio miasm. For instance, for a couple days you may feel on top of the world and later, a deep depression may follow. The sycotic depression carries with it a tiredness bordering exhaustion. In fact, one MAteria Mdica refers to the sycotic condition as a "state of collapse." Other symptoms of the sycotic miasm include:
Forgetfulness - Dullness - Talkativeness - Manipulative - Suspicious (paranoid) - Anger - Fear of Dark - Rebellious - Panic Attacks - Nausea - Headaches - Sore Throats"



:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

:bow: :bow: :bow: :cry: :bow:

[Xerf]

psychotic: is a term describing individuals that experience one or more of the following symptoms:

delusions
hallucinations
disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior


:rolleyes:

all that med school is paying off!

[tufluv]

YET, another clue!
"Dr". XERF strikes again, thanx for that delightfully helpful bit of info!

[bishop1]

xERF

"you are a doll"

doll = 'a stuffed dummy with no brains '

[tufluv]

MORE possiblities for the fan club: :idea:
"talking XERF dolls"
"miniature Xerfdoll keyrings"
"magnetic Xerf pic's" ,etc.etc. My mind is reeling! :beammeup:
Gotta go! (okay Xerf, you get a small %age of royalties, here sinezepepers! (dotted...... line, please) :D

[Bro.Steingass]

Well, I'm not afraid of the dark so:

[Xerf]

To Stein..........lol...........I love a guy who can make a great comeback!

To bISHOP1..........Don't ever come back............. :)


To Tufluv..............I think my agent has gone off the deep end........keyrings!!!!...........what we need is BILLBOARDS!.........XERF gimme an X, gimme an E, gimme an R, gimme an F ..............

:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

What do you get WHEN

You cross a
bill
with a
GivingItOver ?

" A BANDIT "

[apforthelord]

LOL that one was good Bishop........

[Xerf]

hmmmmmmmmm..........what do you get when you cross:

A bISHOP1 with a apforthe -- a composer of nonesense riddles who laughs at his own creations!


:jk:


:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

What do you get when you cross Xerf with the Good News Cafe?

A cannibal meat grinder who dishes out the Gospel with a smile!

[Xerf]

What do ya get when ya cross Xerf with an insult......................a very badly beaten O2b!






hehe..........



:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

UNCLE!

At least you could check my pulse before you start GRINDING.

medium-rare please

[bishop1]

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS

A WILD CAT
with a
ON FIRE ?


You'll get a

BruningForJesus
crying
HeSetMeFree !

[Webmaster]

What do you get when you cross an airplane with Bishop Holland?

A Flying Dutchman!

[bishop1]

WHAT DO YOU GET

WHEN

YOU CROSS A

JOHN ATKINSON

?


probally kicked off the board !

[Webmaster]

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

GOOD one Bishop!

[Xerf]

What do ya get when ya cross a mlflemming with a Kodiack bear?

A cold Flim-Flam man!


:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

Naughty XERF! Calling a pastor a flim flam man????? :)

The closest I come to liking cold is a Klondike bar!

What do you get when you cross a XERF with with a musical instrument?

A XERFAPHONE!

[Xerf]

haha............You are way tooooooooo fast Flem..........

and sorry for the degrading remark......(I will remember in the future to only abuse you when you are not around......haha!)

:jk:

Regards my friend!!

:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

*note

"An Out of Tune xERFAPHONE"

[Webmaster]

XERF,

I was not offended....it was actually nice to be abused while I was present for a change!!!!!! hehehehe

[Xerf]

haha,.......good one.........bISHOP1.................(OK! no more Mr. Nice Xerf! -- I'm taking off the gloves!!)



:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

xERF;

Are you really from

FLIN FLON, MANITOBA ?

[Xerf]

n0.........r u from:


Buckminster Fullerene, Great Britian

Shafter California

Bumpass Creek Alabama

Butte City Idaho


???????????????????????/

[Webmaster]

Well as any salesman knows,

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION is the key....

I think XERF is from Texas, but not from around the border area.....

[bishop1]

COLON, MICHIGAN

OR

Maybe

in Hell, Michigan ?

[Webmaster]

I have been both places Bishop, but never saw a XERF

[Xerf]

I know......Gotham City.....afterall, bISHOP1 is a bit "batty."


:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

What do you get when you cross XERF with THE FLASH?

A VERY RAPID XPERMENTAL ENGLISH RESPONDER FACTOTUM

[bishop1]

Add some Dash
and you'll get a FLASH

[Webmaster]

Of course if XERF goes to fast and hits something you will get

HASH

[Xerf]

I'm Stewing over all these remarks!!

:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

STEW...hmmmm

Beef

[Xerf]

Flem.............you are in the wrong thread old son, this is NOT the word association thread...........(do I have to be weighted down with all this keeping people straight!!........will it never end!!!!!!!)


BULL!!!!!


:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

'BULL'

O K

xERF has to be from

Fort Worth, near the stockyards !

[Xerf]

Wrong, wrong, wrong, not even in the same pasture!

You can always tell a Texan.............. you just can't tell him much!

:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

I say that about my wife's family....hehehehe

[O2blikehim]

What do you get when you cross XERF with himself? (XERF Squared?)

A Yellow, Anonymous, Arrogant, Narcissist with a smug smile that keeps going round ... and ... round... and .... round.... world without end, age of ages, forever and ever, even unto the end, aion aiona.

Stephen

[Xerf]

O2B... please tell the 2 BIG guys that I sent to break your legs that I will pay them Friday, right after Break fast!

:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

Xerf, Thought you would like to know, Gotti and Devonto are both dead... it was messy.

[bishop1]

"Too Messy for me'

GOTTI GO NOW

[Xerf]

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a skin doctor?

A Pacadermatologist!


:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

PUBLIC NOTICE OBITUARIES

Hitmen Gotti and Devonto dead. Visitation at Xerfs' Turf. Closed casket due to savage nature of their demise. Donations to Good News Cafe accepted. All remaining body parts to be cremated in Dantes' Inferno.

[Xerf]

What do ya do?

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and O2B. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
- You shoot O2B. Twice.


:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

O2B gave them an offer dey could not refuse

[Xerf]

What do you call an O2B skydiving from an airplane?


- Skeet.



:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

SORRY! The 2 bullets U Used On O2B were CO2 BBs'

XERF2CO2BB X O2B = O2BUNSCATHED

[O2blikehim]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Xerf
[B]What do you call an O2B skydiving from an airplane?


- Skeet.


WRONG Again the answer is DEADLY FLAK!:beammeup: :yeah:

[Xerf]

haha.........sorry but I read that as ............O2 BUN SCATHED!


NICE SHOT!!!!


:rolleyes:

[O2blikehim]

Originally posted by Xerf
haha.........sorry but I read that as ............O2 BUN SCATHED!


NICE SHOT!!!!


:rolleyes:


:bow: Ok I'll give you that one! :eek: :laugh:

[tufluv]

:laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh:
You guys KILL me!!!

[bishop1]

WHAT DO YOU GET

WHEN

You cross a

watermelon

with a

collie dog?



a 'Meloncollie baby'

[Xerf]

And what do you get when ya cross

A Tufluv with a walnut -- One tuf nut!


:rolleyes:

[tufluv]

To crack!

[bishop1]

What do you get when
you cross a duck and a cow ?


{quackers & mo-juice}

[Webmaster]

Bishop 1...

That was MOOOOVELOUS

[tufluv]

That Bishop1 is just "all quacked up"....!! :laugh:

[Xerf]

What do you get when you cross a bISHOP1 with Irish grass?

A cow paddy!


:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

What do you get

when you cross an Abalone
- with a crocadile ?


{ a crock-a-baloney }:cool: :beammeup:
:confused: :mad: :( ;) :p :) :D :bow:

[Xerf]

Sorry, the previous post should have read:

What do ya get when you croos bISHOP1 and an Irish Cow?

A Cow Paddy


-Next-

What do ya get when you cross bISHOP1 and a a German Cabbage?

A Sour Kraut



:rolleyes:

[bishop1]

:confused: :confused:


There once Wuz an xERF from YUMA -

- who told a Church Joke to a PUMA -

Now his body Lies -

- under Hot Desert Skies -

For The PUMA Had No Sense Of HUMA !



:o :) :cool: :p :D :D :beammeup: :bow:[B]

[Xerf]

What do ya get when you cross:

A Dane with a Campbellite?

A Can of Condensed Soup!

-------- :rolleyes: ---------

What do ya get when you cross:

A Dane with a Tolstoy?

A Reader's Digest Book of the Month!


:rolleyes:

[Webmaster]

Chicken noodle, XERF?????

[Xerf]

No, more like a very condensed can of alphabet soup -- so condensed that all the letters are lower case -- and only the letters A thru D are in the soup, -- which is so thin that it would leak out of a lead bucket!


:rolleyes:

[BroDane]

What do you get when you cross Corn with a Knee?

Xerf! Corny...

[Xerf]

IF you didn't have the dump handle I would....... ( believe me you don't want to know) ............(I even frightened myself when I explained it to me)!


:rolleyes:

[apforthelord]

Lol i didnt want to get in thi s but that was funny Bro Dane.....

[BroDane]

Heh, thx Ap...

By the way Xerf...

As one of my old boss/security put it, when a guy at work said.."you wouldnt be so tuff if you didnt have that gun", my boss took the gun out, emptied the chamber, put the clip on the table and said..sir, lets step outside right now!

Well, the guy just sorta shut up rrrrrrrrreaaaal quick like, I would too considering that my boss was a ex-special ops Sargent in Desert storm...

Me..I am nothing, but, my body guard never loses.... Hes the Captain ;)

So, take yer best shot..Il be praying while yer swinging yer arms...heh

Psa 34:7 The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them