Mom With 5 Y.O Son Needs Help/Advice

[godisgreat]

I don't exactly know how to ask this, but here it goes.

I have no clue what triggered this, but lately it seems like everytime I put on my pantyhose, my son wants to rub my legs. This started out of the blue about a month ago. I know he is still kind of young, so I try not to blow it out of proportion, and chalk it up to curiosity, but also want it to stop before he thinks it's ok and just walks up to some lady and rubs her legs. My son (altho only 5) is pretty much well behaved, but this is one thing that no matter how many times I tell him to stop, he just doesn't seem to get it. So far the only way I have found to get around it is to not wear them around the house...

I know this isn't the type of post this board is used to, but I really do need some help on what to do. If anyone has any ideas/thoughts, please share... I feel like the only one out there with this prob. and so so far no one seems to want to try and help. Thanks in advance for all your help,

Melissa

[ddc101]

Sister thats not a problem.Its normal behaviour.Children are facinated at how it looks like skin but moves.Just explain to him that its not nice to go and rub ladies on the legs.Do not make him feel bad about it.He is only five.Five year olds are curious.I know this may sit funny but children at that age even examine their differences and have no ill intent in mind.So bear with it in a balanced manner.lv sis.c

[Melody]

They also like the silky feel of it. Children at that age are very tactile oriented. You might try some distraction techniques like getting out the playdoh or finger paints.

[Abigail4476]

I don't exactly know how to ask this, but here it goes.

I have no clue what triggered this, but lately it seems like everytime I put on my pantyhose, my son wants to rub my legs. This started out of the blue about a month ago. I know he is still kind of young, so I try not to blow it out of proportion, and chalk it up to curiosity, but also want it to stop before he thinks it's ok and just walks up to some lady and rubs her legs. My son (altho only 5) is pretty much well behaved, but this is one thing that no matter how many times I tell him to stop, he just doesn't seem to get it. So far the only way I have found to get around it is to not wear them around the house...

I know this isn't the type of post this board is used to, but I really do need some help on what to do. If anyone has any ideas/thoughts, please share... I feel like the only one out there with this prob. and so so far no one seems to want to try and help. Thanks in advance for all your help,

MelissaI agree with the other posts; don't make a big deal out of it, other than to inform him that it is impolite to touch other people without their permission. Satisfy his curiosity by creating a box full of material swatches like silk, satin, denim, latex, nylon, cotton, etc and tell him what each one is.

His curiosity is very normal and shouldn't be stifled; just guided in the right direction.

Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about making him "stop"...he probably is just trying to figure out why your legs look different/feel different than they normally do...scolding him only increases the curiosity and makes him feel badly about his curiosity which is a double negative whammy. And I wouldn't say anything to him about touching someone else's legs unless he actually does it. Otherwise you'll put creative ideas in his impressionable little head that may have not been there previously....LOL!

Here's another option: Buy him some various pairs of men's socks, including sports socks, dress socks and men's dress hose (they sell the very sheer dress socks at most Wal-Marts now), and let him try them on himself.

[tufluv]

GODISGREAT:
Welcome to our humble CAFE!

I agree with everone's comments.
It is best not to make a big deal out of it..sometimes that can make it worse.
Not that there is anything majorly wrong. Little boys are so-o curious, I have raised 3 sons.
I guess he finds it 'funny' in his own little way. Still learning.
The other sisters had great ideas as well, bravo!

Relax..its a phase, one of many still to come even..he will outgrow it. Meanwhile, its probably a good idea not to wear them unless you have to.,
I personally only wear them to church. I have a job with a very relaxed dress code, so I wear usually tennis shoes with crew socks., jean skirts, etc. In fact, I look 'dressed up' compared to the others there, lol!

[pentecostal mom]

I agree with what everyone has said. I too have a 5 year old and he loves to rub silky things. But on th flip side of things I remember my daughter doing the same thing. She is 8 years old and she still will play with her hose--you know pulling it and letting go on her legs when she is bored.Five year old boys are a lot of fun you never know what they are going to do next!

[Prayerful Mom]

I agree with what everyone has said. I too have a 5 year old and he loves to rub silky things. But on th flip side of things I remember my daughter doing the same thing. She is 8 years old and she still will play with her hose--you know pulling it and letting go on her legs when she is bored.
My daughter did the same thing it was a phase, just imagine what it looks like and feels like in their little hands. LOL

Five year old boys are a lot of fun you never know what they are going to do next! ROFL gotta love those boys! Mud here I come :)

[lellingsworth]

I don't exactly know how to ask this, but here it goes.

I have no clue what triggered this, but lately it seems like everytime I put on my pantyhose, my son wants to rub my legs. This started out of the blue about a month ago. I know he is still kind of young, so I try not to blow it out of proportion, and chalk it up to curiosity, but also want it to stop before he thinks it's ok and just walks up to some lady and rubs her legs. My son (altho only 5) is pretty much well behaved, but this is one thing that no matter how many times I tell him to stop, he just doesn't seem to get it. So far the only way I have found to get around it is to not wear them around the house...

I know this isn't the type of post this board is used to, but I really do need some help on what to do. If anyone has any ideas/thoughts, please share... I feel like the only one out there with this prob. and so so far no one seems to want to try and help. Thanks in advance for all your help,

Melissa

This made me laugh. It reminds me when my friend took me out to lunch. Her 5 year old son had disappeared under the table. After a while, she asked me, "What's he doing?" I told her he was rubbing my leg and I chuckled. I agree with the others. No big deal. I think that they start to learn that some people have hair on their legs, some people don't,some people wear hose, and animals have hair all over. Think about it. They are just wondering why every little thing is so different from the next.

[godisgreat]

Sorry I haven't replied before, I just got busy. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for letting me know their opinion. I did figure it was just a faze, but have heard other stories aqnd guess I just let it get me a little too paranoid. I never really took an action, I was wanting to see what others thought, and I got a lot of good ideas.. Thanks again.

Was wondering if you could help me and my daughter out a bit. (sorry I didnt mention her in my first post, but I put this question on another board first and received some nasty mails.. long story) I was just trying to see if this board would be receptive, and you were more than that... Anyway, she is about to turn 9 and runs through hose left and right it seems. I am still trying to track down that elusive pair of hose for her that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, yet lasts for a decent amout of time. Could anyone point me to a good brand or website where I could order them? I can't find the brand I used to buy her, so I'm back to the trial and error process, and it's been nothing but a big trial.. ha ha.. Thanks again for everything, you guys are great !

Missy

[pentecostal mom]

Sister I have the same problem with my 81/2 year old. One thing I do is
buy those knee highs at Wal-Mart that are in the little balls they are around
33 cents and seem to make it longer than the panty hose I think the main reason is ....my daughter doesn't take the time to put panty hose on properly and she stresses them. With thw knee highs she puts them on and doesn't fool with them until they come off. Plus its alot easier to chunk 33 cents after a couple of wears than 2 or 3 dollars!

[Melody]

I don't buy hose for mine. She will be wearing them when she becomes a teenager and not before.

[Melody]

I don't buy hose for mine. She will be wearing them when she becomes a teenager and not before.

I re-read this and decided that maybe I had been too abrupt. I am an old-fashioned mom that doesn't want my daughter to fast-forward out of her childhood and take on adult dress, attitudes, and responsibilities before she really has a chance to be a child. My daughter still wants to run and play outside with the other children after church and hose and dressy shoes and sheath dresses are not conducive to these activities.

[NanaRenan]

I don't buy hose for mine. She will be wearing them when she becomes a teenager and not before.
How old is she now? My 5 y/o granddoll wears "pantyhose" -- as an alternative to tights or going barelegged. She's like myself and abhors socks of any kind.

While I appreciate your desire to not rush your daughter into adulthood, more girls could do with a little training on being "lady-like" from their mamas WHILE they're still young enough to listen!

"Grown girls" -- who have reached adult size and physical development regardless of their chronological age -- who still romp and play like children might need to be settled down a little.

And the other side of the coin is how the girl feels about moving up her style of dress. I tried to make flexible rules for my girls -- like "5 ft. tall or 13 before high heels." But if something seemed really important, we'd wade in slowly, even if I wasn't totally sold on the idea.

I fought my oldest ever so long over shaving her legs! Finally my everso wise husband took me aside and asked, "What do you THINK is going to happen if she shaves her legs....? Is she going to start sneaking out the window and meeting boys on the corner? No. She's going to find out it's much more trouble than it's worth and give it up until it's REEEAALLLLY important to her."

So, I let her do it. And he was right! After about a month she gave it up for several years.

[Melody]

How old is she now? My 5 y/o granddoll wears "pantyhose" -- as an alternative to tights or going barelegged. She's like myself and abhors socks of any kind.

While I appreciate your desire to not rush your daughter into adulthood, more girls could do with a little training on being "lady-like" from their mamas WHILE they're still young enough to listen!

"Grown girls" -- who have reached adult size and physical development regardless of their chronological age -- who still romp and play like children might need to be settled down a little.

And the other side of the coin is how the girl feels about moving up her style of dress. I tried to make flexible rules for my girls -- like "5 ft. tall or 13 before high heels." But if something seemed really important, we'd wade in slowly, even if I wasn't totally sold on the idea.

I fought my oldest ever so long over shaving her legs! Finally my everso wise husband took me aside and asked, "What do you THINK is going to happen if she shaves her legs....? Is she going to start sneaking out the window and meeting boys on the corner? No. She's going to find out it's much more trouble than it's worth and give it up until it's REEEAALLLLY important to her."

So, I let her do it. And he was right! After about a month she gave it up for several years.

She is 10 years old today. And this is really not a problem with us. I have explained my position and she understood it. I also explained that when she does decide that she wants to wear "grown-up" things that I will be expecting more 'grown-up' responsibilities.

I don't even want to think about shaving legs yet. I don't even know how I am going to be able to teach my son how to shave and he is older than she is.

[godisgreat]

I don't want my daughter to grow up too fast either. I don't force her to wear hose, she still wears tights quite a bit. Only really have her wear them to special occasions, and every now and then when she asks if she can wear them to church... I think the novelty of wearing "grown up" hose will wear off as soon as summer hits full blast.. ha ha.. It's kinda like the issue with shaving legs.. The idea is exciting because it's new and they can seem a little older, but once they realize they have the rest of their life to do/wear grown up things, it'll wear off. I don't have a prob. with her wearing hose at her age, (most the girls at our church wear them, some even youger than my daughter) as long as shes still a kid at heart.

Well, I know this prob. sounded dumb.. but I'm not the best at writing these things... ha ha..

[Abigail4476]

Sorry I haven't replied before, I just got busy. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for letting me know their opinion. I did figure it was just a faze, but have heard other stories aqnd guess I just let it get me a little too paranoid. I never really took an action, I was wanting to see what others thought, and I got a lot of good ideas.. Thanks again.

Was wondering if you could help me and my daughter out a bit. (sorry I didnt mention her in my first post, but I put this question on another board first and received some nasty mails.. long story) I was just trying to see if this board would be receptive, and you were more than that... Anyway, she is about to turn 9 and runs through hose left and right it seems. I am still trying to track down that elusive pair of hose for her that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, yet lasts for a decent amout of time. Could anyone point me to a good brand or website where I could order them? I can't find the brand I used to buy her, so I'm back to the trial and error process, and it's been nothing but a big trial.. ha ha.. Thanks again for everything, you guys are great !

Missy
First of all, if her hose are being torn up, then make her use her own allowance to pay for them. They are a luxury item, in my opinion, so if she wants hose, then let her pay for them herself. If she has to spend her own money she will do one of two things: 1. Take care of her hose better, or
2. She will decide to wear tights instead.

As far as a source...I have no idea...I've seen regular hose in the children's department at Wal-Mart, that's about it.