Alesaggio
05-24-2004, 08:17 PM
Exodus 20:14 is the setting for this study.
Whenever God gives us a negative He always has a positive purpose behind it. He always has a reason. When you play by God’s rules you win. One such rule in simple language and in 5 words the Commandment says: “You Shall Not Commit Adultery.”
Nothing destroys a family faster than adultery. God invented sex. Like everything else in life it must be controlled. All God’s gifts have limitations on them. Like Water – You can’t live without it. But, too much of it and you can drown. Fire – it can either warm you or burn you. It’s how you handle it.
God has given humanity a drive called “sex.” Properly controlled and expressed within marriage it’s beautiful and fantastic. But outside of marriage it is destructive and detrimental to your health – emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
It is easier to get married than to stay married. Today’s world has become very permissive. Sex is everywhere (TV, newspapers, billboards, etc.). Readers Digest did a study and said 50% of all husbands and 35% of all wives have committed adultery. This permissive society is sliding down a steep slide to judgment!
Add some prevention –be an adult about adultery:
Make a commitment to God’s standards of purity. Regardless of past or present failures, make a commitment to maintain God’s biblical standards. The Bible says that sex is for marriage only – not before marriage, not outside of marriage.
Psalms 119:9, “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.”
Adultery should never be an option. There is no justification for it.
Joseph could have given in. He could have reasoned: “I’m young, attractive, single, I’m in a foreign country, it’s acceptable in this society, she wants it, I desire it, it might help me in my career, I am emotionally scarred, my brothers hate me, sold me into slavery, my mother died when I was young, I’ve had a terrible life, deprived of love – I DESERVE IT!
Instead Joseph turned and ran. He said, “I will not sin against my God.”
Proverbs says, “Be faithful to your own wife. Give your love to her alone” (5:15). Literally it says, “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.”
Make a commitment to God’s standards And Magnify the Consequences.
Remind yourself of the devastation that is caused by sexual sin. The shame never goes away. The sense of loss to everyone is enormous.
Proverbs 6:26 says, “An adulterer will prey upon a man’s precious life, he will be reduced to a crust of bread.”
Here are three reasons to be faithful to your husband or wife: (1) I love Jesus Christ. He said if you love me keep my commandments, (2) I love my wife (or husband) and kids. The thought of hurting them is unbearable to even think of. (3) I fear the judgment of God. The Bible says, “Adulterers and fornicators God will judge” (Heb.13:4).
Adultery is basically selfishness. The adulterer says, “Forget how it hurts others, I want sexual gratification.” Instead of working to improve their sexual relationship with their wife/husband they seek after the image of sex given by Hollywood or the Internet. One counselor stated me that pornography has become so prevalent in the lives of men that it is tearing marriages apart. It creates a impure sexual addiction.
America is in a mess. Think about our schools. If they taught drug education today like they teach sex education they would be passing out needles and showing our kids how to shoot up. School leaders think that kids are going to be doing sex anyway so we should show them how to do it safely. What is really needed? They need to be told what God says is right and wrong.
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, And Maintain Your Marriage.
A growing relationship with your spouse will reduce the pull and attraction of adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”
Some study has suggested the 5 top needs of most men and the 5 top needs of most women:
MEN:
1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
WOMEN:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
Any similarities? NO! Solution – Find out what your spouse needs and set out to meet them. When you said, “I Do” you thought your spouse would meet these important needs in your life. Unfortunately, many men and women feel cheated and begin to look outside marriage to satisfy these needs.
One of the biggest problems in marriages today is the physical relationship.
1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Another thing, a great goal in marriage is to become best friends. Talk together, walk together, be together.
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, Maintain your marriage, And Manage Your Mind.
Immorality is a process. There is no such thing as a “one night stand.” You are not a moral, upright person one day and the next day an adulterer.
Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, ’You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Thoughts lead to >Feelings, and feelings lead to > Actions, and actions lead to > Adultery! (and adultery leads to hell).
James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
Progression:
Step 1 – Accepting sinful thoughts in your mind
Step 2 – Emotional non-physical involvement (talk about needs with him/her)
Step 3 – Physical involvement. Once this happens it’s really hard to break away. It takes everything you have and the grace of God. The passion and power involved in adultery is very strong.
Step 4 – Rationalizing the affair.
Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?”
Rationalizing sernarios:
“If only my husband/wife met my needs, I wouldn’t be doing this.”
“We love each other.”
“God loves us no matter what we do.”
“God will forgive.”
BEWARE -- you presume on the grace of God. Paul said, “Should we sin that grace may abound? God forbid!”
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, Maintain your marriage, Manage your mind, And finally, Maintain Proper Relationships.
Most affairs occur between close personal friends, co-workers or family members. How should we maintain proper relationships?
(1) Don’t listen to a member of the opposite sex tell you about his/her marriage problems.
(2) Women, don’t go fishing for compliments. Your husband may not notice if you die your hair green but that doesn’t mean you should look outside marriage for those deep emotional needs. Husbands, watch out what you say to women. If you are not sure what to say, better to say nothing than risk being misunderstood in giving a compliment.
(3) Avoid a prolonged stare. No married person should be a “flirt.”
(4) Avoid a lingering touch. Except for family and some senior adults.
Ephesians 5:3, “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints.”
If you don’t want to get stung stay away from the bees. Make sure your friends are as committed to their marriage as you are. Be careful in the workplace. Everybody looks good at work, church, etc. Dressed well. Make-up on. No curlers, best behavior, etc. You don’t see them at their worst as you see your spouse.
God thought up sex. It’s His idea. Marriage can be most exciting when each person seeks to meet the needs of the spouse. It is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. God has established the rules. We win when we follow them. He came to give us life and life more abundantly—the true saint of God enjoys a high quality of life—made possible by the presence of God IN ALL THINGS!
BE AN ADULT ABOUT ADULTERY! And most of all be a spiritual adult.
---------------------------+---------------------------------
Whenever God gives us a negative He always has a positive purpose behind it. He always has a reason. When you play by God’s rules you win. One such rule in simple language and in 5 words the Commandment says: “You Shall Not Commit Adultery.”
Nothing destroys a family faster than adultery. God invented sex. Like everything else in life it must be controlled. All God’s gifts have limitations on them. Like Water – You can’t live without it. But, too much of it and you can drown. Fire – it can either warm you or burn you. It’s how you handle it.
God has given humanity a drive called “sex.” Properly controlled and expressed within marriage it’s beautiful and fantastic. But outside of marriage it is destructive and detrimental to your health – emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
It is easier to get married than to stay married. Today’s world has become very permissive. Sex is everywhere (TV, newspapers, billboards, etc.). Readers Digest did a study and said 50% of all husbands and 35% of all wives have committed adultery. This permissive society is sliding down a steep slide to judgment!
Add some prevention –be an adult about adultery:
Make a commitment to God’s standards of purity. Regardless of past or present failures, make a commitment to maintain God’s biblical standards. The Bible says that sex is for marriage only – not before marriage, not outside of marriage.
Psalms 119:9, “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.”
Adultery should never be an option. There is no justification for it.
Joseph could have given in. He could have reasoned: “I’m young, attractive, single, I’m in a foreign country, it’s acceptable in this society, she wants it, I desire it, it might help me in my career, I am emotionally scarred, my brothers hate me, sold me into slavery, my mother died when I was young, I’ve had a terrible life, deprived of love – I DESERVE IT!
Instead Joseph turned and ran. He said, “I will not sin against my God.”
Proverbs says, “Be faithful to your own wife. Give your love to her alone” (5:15). Literally it says, “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.”
Make a commitment to God’s standards And Magnify the Consequences.
Remind yourself of the devastation that is caused by sexual sin. The shame never goes away. The sense of loss to everyone is enormous.
Proverbs 6:26 says, “An adulterer will prey upon a man’s precious life, he will be reduced to a crust of bread.”
Here are three reasons to be faithful to your husband or wife: (1) I love Jesus Christ. He said if you love me keep my commandments, (2) I love my wife (or husband) and kids. The thought of hurting them is unbearable to even think of. (3) I fear the judgment of God. The Bible says, “Adulterers and fornicators God will judge” (Heb.13:4).
Adultery is basically selfishness. The adulterer says, “Forget how it hurts others, I want sexual gratification.” Instead of working to improve their sexual relationship with their wife/husband they seek after the image of sex given by Hollywood or the Internet. One counselor stated me that pornography has become so prevalent in the lives of men that it is tearing marriages apart. It creates a impure sexual addiction.
America is in a mess. Think about our schools. If they taught drug education today like they teach sex education they would be passing out needles and showing our kids how to shoot up. School leaders think that kids are going to be doing sex anyway so we should show them how to do it safely. What is really needed? They need to be told what God says is right and wrong.
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, And Maintain Your Marriage.
A growing relationship with your spouse will reduce the pull and attraction of adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”
Some study has suggested the 5 top needs of most men and the 5 top needs of most women:
MEN:
1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
WOMEN:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
Any similarities? NO! Solution – Find out what your spouse needs and set out to meet them. When you said, “I Do” you thought your spouse would meet these important needs in your life. Unfortunately, many men and women feel cheated and begin to look outside marriage to satisfy these needs.
One of the biggest problems in marriages today is the physical relationship.
1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Another thing, a great goal in marriage is to become best friends. Talk together, walk together, be together.
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, Maintain your marriage, And Manage Your Mind.
Immorality is a process. There is no such thing as a “one night stand.” You are not a moral, upright person one day and the next day an adulterer.
Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, ’You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Thoughts lead to >Feelings, and feelings lead to > Actions, and actions lead to > Adultery! (and adultery leads to hell).
James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
Progression:
Step 1 – Accepting sinful thoughts in your mind
Step 2 – Emotional non-physical involvement (talk about needs with him/her)
Step 3 – Physical involvement. Once this happens it’s really hard to break away. It takes everything you have and the grace of God. The passion and power involved in adultery is very strong.
Step 4 – Rationalizing the affair.
Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?”
Rationalizing sernarios:
“If only my husband/wife met my needs, I wouldn’t be doing this.”
“We love each other.”
“God loves us no matter what we do.”
“God will forgive.”
BEWARE -- you presume on the grace of God. Paul said, “Should we sin that grace may abound? God forbid!”
Make a commitment to God’s standards, Magnify the consequences, Maintain your marriage, Manage your mind, And finally, Maintain Proper Relationships.
Most affairs occur between close personal friends, co-workers or family members. How should we maintain proper relationships?
(1) Don’t listen to a member of the opposite sex tell you about his/her marriage problems.
(2) Women, don’t go fishing for compliments. Your husband may not notice if you die your hair green but that doesn’t mean you should look outside marriage for those deep emotional needs. Husbands, watch out what you say to women. If you are not sure what to say, better to say nothing than risk being misunderstood in giving a compliment.
(3) Avoid a prolonged stare. No married person should be a “flirt.”
(4) Avoid a lingering touch. Except for family and some senior adults.
Ephesians 5:3, “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints.”
If you don’t want to get stung stay away from the bees. Make sure your friends are as committed to their marriage as you are. Be careful in the workplace. Everybody looks good at work, church, etc. Dressed well. Make-up on. No curlers, best behavior, etc. You don’t see them at their worst as you see your spouse.
God thought up sex. It’s His idea. Marriage can be most exciting when each person seeks to meet the needs of the spouse. It is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. God has established the rules. We win when we follow them. He came to give us life and life more abundantly—the true saint of God enjoys a high quality of life—made possible by the presence of God IN ALL THINGS!
BE AN ADULT ABOUT ADULTERY! And most of all be a spiritual adult.
---------------------------+---------------------------------