Legacy
04-19-2003, 12:19 PM
Regardless of whether people have been partakers of the Holy Ghost and become a new creature in Christ, the fact remains that people still possess personalities and the wise Pastor will learn who he is dealing with, what kind of personality, in order to effectively help the individual.
Having the Holy Ghost does not make all people a product of sameness. You must realize you are dealing with an individual with individual traits, the Holy Ghost is the power to aid the individual in overcoming weakness and error.
I begin with the traits of the Narcissist:
The narcissist has to condition his human environment to refrain from expressing criticism and disapproval of him or of his actions and decisions. He has to teach people around him that these will provoke him into frightful fits of temper and rage attacks and turn him into a constantly cantankerous and irascible person. The disproportion of his reactions constitutes a punishment for their lack of consideration and their ignorance of his true psychological state. In a curious reversal of roles – the narcissist blames others for his behaviour, accuses them of provoking him and believes firmly that "they" should be penalised accordingly. There is no way to dissuade the narcissist once he has embarked on one of his temper tantrums. Apologies – unless accompanied by verbal or other humiliation – are not enough. The fuel of his rage is spent mainly on vitriolic verbal send-offs directed at the (often imaginary) perpetrator of the (oft imaginary) offence.
The narcissist – wittingly or not – utilises people to buttress his self-image and self-worth. As long and in as much as they are instrumental in achieving these goals – he holds them in high regard, they are valuable to him. He sees them only through this lens. This is a result of his inability to love humans: he lacks empathy, he thinks utility, and he reduces others to mere instruments. If they cease to "function", if – no matter how inadvertently – they cause him to doubt this illusory, half-baked, self-esteem – they become the subject of a reign of terror. The narcissist then proceeds to hurt these "insubordinate wretches". He belittles and humiliates them. He displays aggression and violence in myriad forms. His behaviour metamorphesises, kaleidoscopically, from over-valuation of the useful other – to a severe devaluation of same.
The narcissist abhors, almost physiologically, people judged by him to be "useless".
These rapid alterations between absolute overvaluation to complete devaluation of others make the maintenance of long-term interpersonal relationships all but impossible.
Possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance (for example: exaggerates his achievements and his talents, expects his superiority to be recognised without having the commensurate skills or achievements);
Pre-occupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of ideal love;
Believes that he is unique and special and that only high status and special people (or institutions) could understand him (or that it is only with such people and institutions that it is worth his while to be associated with);
Demands excessive and exceptional admiration;
Feels that he is deserving of exceptionally good treatment, automatic obeisance of his (usually unrealistic) expectations;
Exploitative in his interpersonal relationships, uses others to achieve his goals;
Lacks empathy: is disinterested in other people's needs and emotions and does not identify with them;
Envies others or believes that others envy him;
Displays arrogance and haughtiness.
Your challenging them with reason or healthy indignation when they're nasty will fail; they'll combat you into defeat at all costs. Your "going with the flow" when they're nasty will fail; it may get you through the conflict at hand, but repeated application will result in their getting bored and punishing you for "not caring enough to work on this," AND you'll grow numb and weak with complacency and resignation. There is no successful maneuver for working with narcissists. You'll lose every time.
The only hope for this personality trait is, as with all of us, a spiritual infusion that will temper and be an antidote of narcissism.
--------We will look at other personalites later-------------
Having the Holy Ghost does not make all people a product of sameness. You must realize you are dealing with an individual with individual traits, the Holy Ghost is the power to aid the individual in overcoming weakness and error.
I begin with the traits of the Narcissist:
The narcissist has to condition his human environment to refrain from expressing criticism and disapproval of him or of his actions and decisions. He has to teach people around him that these will provoke him into frightful fits of temper and rage attacks and turn him into a constantly cantankerous and irascible person. The disproportion of his reactions constitutes a punishment for their lack of consideration and their ignorance of his true psychological state. In a curious reversal of roles – the narcissist blames others for his behaviour, accuses them of provoking him and believes firmly that "they" should be penalised accordingly. There is no way to dissuade the narcissist once he has embarked on one of his temper tantrums. Apologies – unless accompanied by verbal or other humiliation – are not enough. The fuel of his rage is spent mainly on vitriolic verbal send-offs directed at the (often imaginary) perpetrator of the (oft imaginary) offence.
The narcissist – wittingly or not – utilises people to buttress his self-image and self-worth. As long and in as much as they are instrumental in achieving these goals – he holds them in high regard, they are valuable to him. He sees them only through this lens. This is a result of his inability to love humans: he lacks empathy, he thinks utility, and he reduces others to mere instruments. If they cease to "function", if – no matter how inadvertently – they cause him to doubt this illusory, half-baked, self-esteem – they become the subject of a reign of terror. The narcissist then proceeds to hurt these "insubordinate wretches". He belittles and humiliates them. He displays aggression and violence in myriad forms. His behaviour metamorphesises, kaleidoscopically, from over-valuation of the useful other – to a severe devaluation of same.
The narcissist abhors, almost physiologically, people judged by him to be "useless".
These rapid alterations between absolute overvaluation to complete devaluation of others make the maintenance of long-term interpersonal relationships all but impossible.
Possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance (for example: exaggerates his achievements and his talents, expects his superiority to be recognised without having the commensurate skills or achievements);
Pre-occupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of ideal love;
Believes that he is unique and special and that only high status and special people (or institutions) could understand him (or that it is only with such people and institutions that it is worth his while to be associated with);
Demands excessive and exceptional admiration;
Feels that he is deserving of exceptionally good treatment, automatic obeisance of his (usually unrealistic) expectations;
Exploitative in his interpersonal relationships, uses others to achieve his goals;
Lacks empathy: is disinterested in other people's needs and emotions and does not identify with them;
Envies others or believes that others envy him;
Displays arrogance and haughtiness.
Your challenging them with reason or healthy indignation when they're nasty will fail; they'll combat you into defeat at all costs. Your "going with the flow" when they're nasty will fail; it may get you through the conflict at hand, but repeated application will result in their getting bored and punishing you for "not caring enough to work on this," AND you'll grow numb and weak with complacency and resignation. There is no successful maneuver for working with narcissists. You'll lose every time.
The only hope for this personality trait is, as with all of us, a spiritual infusion that will temper and be an antidote of narcissism.
--------We will look at other personalites later-------------