Let's get aquainted.

[BroRutledge]

I am starting this thread in an effort to learn more about our GNC friends in the ministry. Perhaps we will all be strengthened as we learn more about how we became what we are today. If you are a minister posting in this area, please take some time to share your testimony. As we go forward I will be posting some things that have happened in my life to bring me to where I am today in the work of God.

Here are a few questions that may help us get started.

How did you know that you were to be a minister?

Have you gone through difficult times in the ministry? Did you come out with a testimony of victory? What happened?

Were you ever a sinner? How did you come to know the Lord?

What can you think of that happened in your ministry that makes you very happy?

Have you ever had an embarrassing moment in the work of God? Is it something you can share?

What is happening in your ministry today, and what do you see in the future?

Have you ever prepared a message that didn't get preached?

That should be enough to get us started. I could go on and on, and maybe you would like to add some questions also. Take your liberty, and let God use you. The ministry threads can become a tool that we all can use for the Glory of God, and I am sure that many people will be blessed.

God bless
BroRutledge

[ddc101]

1.How did you know you were to be a minister? Probably because I used to run away and my parents would find me praying in the church when I was 6 or 7 years old.I was an RC so thank God no one harmed me.But people were different forty years ago then they were today.Back then people would tell your parents if they saw you misbehaving.I used to bury all my dead pets and any I found and perform funerals.I talked to Jesus when I really did not know much about him.He led me to truth and one day in prayer I felt him calling me to the ministry.I told God that women did not do such things.He brought lady minsters in my path for the next few months.One evening when Sis.Nona Freeman was minstering in a missions service I saw a bright oily light shining around her and felt almost paralyzed.Jesus admonished me to trust him.I did.Already I had been witnessing everywhere I went and bringing carloads of people to church.I had also been preaching the gospel in the parking lot after work.My pastor told me he already knew when I approached him.He ask me to go home and get ready because I was going to a fellowship meeting with them that very night.From then on all I want to do is eat,sleep and breathe the Gospel.I began to work as my pastors assistant and understudy and later others began to call for him to send me to hold services for them.God has always provided places for me to minister.I feel if someone has a call of God that they will not have to force others to agree or open doors for them.All you have to do is pray and God will take you where he wants to.The job openings are his anyway and he doesn't need a character reference or credit check as he knows all about us.I feel such a need as of late to help women find their place in God and realize the power that they have living a submitted life.I have always been the type to ask my pastors advice before I do things.If he feels funny about it forget it.Now my husband is my pastor and its much easier because I have to submit to him always anyway its bible.When people ask me if I am a preacher etc.I say we are all preachers but I am a missionary.I have always felt the call of the missionary on my life.
Once in a meeting at La Dist Camp in Tioga,La Bro.TW Barnes was speaking in a missions service.Jesus ask me if I would go to a certain place for me and then he ask for all.I agreed and when that specific door opens for us my husband and I are prepared to walk through it.We now pastor a home missions church and really are elated to be working for Jesus in any means he would have us to.The thing that makes me happiest is to see a life that was tattered by sin and this world come to Jesus and receive all He has to offer including life and that more abundantly.You just can't beat this Jesus life.I love to teach a bible study to someone and go through the birthing process at the altar when they receive the Holy Ghost.Jesus just wants us to get in the Spirit.The work is His and already mapped out.We just have to be willing to die to our own plans and desires.May he bless all who live and work for him.lv sis.c

[Webmaster]

The pastor I was under when I was about 14 had all of the young men of the church give a sermonette during several youth services. As time progressed, I felt like that I was possibly called to the ministry, but was not really sure, and never really dedicated my life like I should have. Played around with church, and various other things.

It was only after I was married that I ever really settled down and dedicated my life to serving God. The pastor that married my wife and I had several discussions about the ministry with me, as he recognized a calling. After I prayed much about the matter I began to feel a responsibility on my shoulders and a heaviness in my heart for the lost.

14 years now I have been in the ministry, and I still cannot say I heard, "thus saith the Lord!", but I can tell anyone without a trace of doubt, it was God that called us, God that sent us, and God that keeps us. In 2002 alone, we saw over 25 baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, and around 20 filled with the Holy Ghost. I am convinced it had nothing to do with us, except for obedience to the God that sent us.

Bro. Flemming

[truemessianic]

Originally posted by BroRutledge
I am starting this thread in an effort to learn more about our GNC friends in the ministry. Perhaps we will all be strengthened as we learn more about how we became what we are today. If you are a minister posting in this area, please take some time to share your testimony. As we go forward I will be posting some things that have happened in my life to bring me to where I am today in the work of God.

Here are a few questions that may help us get started.

That should be enough to get us started. I could go on and on, and maybe you would like to add some questions also. Take your liberty, and let God use you. The ministry threads can become a tool that we all can use for the Glory of God, and I am sure that many people will be blessed.

God bless
BroRutledge


How did you know that you were to be a minister? I was 12 years old, and my parents were fighting. I was in my bed, and the Lord called me into a vision, and showed me that I was to be a Pastor eventually. But, until the church starts, I do the work of an evangelist.

Have you gone through difficult times in the ministry? Did you come out with a testimony of victory? What happened? Well, it seems as if every church I have ver attended, I have either been put down by the Pastor, used or abused by the Pastor, or been asked to leave by the Pastor. The testimony is that I am still here doing the Messiah's work, and the Lord is still God on the throne of my heart.

Were you ever a sinner? How did you come to know the Lord? I was a Trinitarian preacher, and as such, was lost. It was not until I left one church and was invited to Steve Barley's church that I came to the truth, and was born again. Was I ever a sinner? All were sinners, bbut I do not believe I was as bad as some people, but I was quite a bit bad.

What can you think of that happened in your ministry that makes you very happy? It would have to be the day the Lord allowed me to minister at my current home church, and the Spirit moved on me so strong that the whole church was under the power. It was indeed an awesome move.

Have you ever had an embarrassing moment in the work of God? Is it something you can share? Well, there was this one time I was about to preach at my former church, and of all things, my zipper broke as I sat in the pulpit. There were no barriers there, so I rushed to get a robe on, a preachers robe, repaired the zipper, and preached my heart out. What made it worse is when the Pastor told everyone in the audience what had happened.

What is happening in your ministry today, and what do you see in the future? Right now, my ministry is going through a dramatic transformation. The Lord is moving, an He is transforming me as well. What do I see in the future is an opening of a new church here in Houston for the proclamation of the true Word of God.

Have you ever prepared a message that didn't get preached? Absolutely. I cannot preach from notes. Never have been able to. the Lord gives me a thought, I open my mouth, and He speaks, it seems like. I have prepared messages before, and threw them back on the chair prior to me getting up to preach.

Hope this answers your question, BroRutledge.

[Adoniyah]

Brother Atkinson, you asked:

"How did you know that you were to be a minister?"


Having received the Holy Ghost in 1947 under brother Gamblin's Gospel tent pitched in the middle of the Catahoula Parish Cotton fields, I finally figured out two or three years later that I was called when my Dad said that I was called. I did not know it then.

One day, as a very young Lad, I said to my Dad who was sitting at a table, "Daddy, I will promise you this, I will preach the Gospel from here to Bombay, India."

I had never heard of Bombay India. That just came out of me. My Dad jumped up from the table, shouted all over the kitchen, talking in tongues.

After preaching to trees, animals and younger kids, I finally figured out that I was called to preach. I could see myself in my young mind with my bible, proclaiming the blessed Word of God to a sick old world.

You also asked:

"Have you gone through difficult times in the ministry? Did you come out with a testimony of victory? What happened?"

Yes, I have come through very difficult times, filled with doubt and discourgment. I came through it with a limp but with victory. The devil almost destroyed me. The attack did not come from the world or the flesh. It came from those that I loved the most in God. It came from especially one man which tried his best to kill me. Yet this one man, I love to this day with a love so deep, so strong, that it can only be God. Though he tried to destroy me, I am still here by the grace of God. I am certain that if God had not been with me, I woiuld be out of the ministry today, perhaps not even saved. None can hurt so deep as those can that you love the most.

To tell what happened would take a book for any of it to make any sense. The scar remains, but it well healed. I am far, far stronger, far, far more confident, far, far greater in steadfastness in God because of this experience. Today, I walk with great confidence. There are those that think I am haughty by the way I hold myslef and the confidence of my walk, but I am not. It is just that I have confidence in God as strong as Mount Everst. Nothing can move me now. I owe it to the terrible experience that I went through and the mercies of God that brought me through it.

I will answer the other questions later.

I am glad that you started this thread. I am interested in the testimony of others as yours also.

[BroRutledge]

This is really great. I am really enjoying reading about your lives in the ministry.

Adoniyah Bro Gamblin is special in my life also. I had been preaching for only two weeks when bro W. E. Gamblin invited me to go to Orange, Texas to hold a revival. I was there for three weeks, and it was one of the most exciting times of my life. Many received the Holy Ghost, and bro Gamblin was so patient with me as I was very sincere but really scared to be preaching in that big Church with almost no experience.

I preached everything I knew the first night and it only took about 15 minutes. I spent the days during that revival sweating, crying and praying for a thought, and It seemed that nothing would come to me until I got up to preach. I was a nervous wreck, but God really moved.

On the second night of the revival the alter filled up, and I felt convicted by my own message and ran to the alter. Bro Gamblin knelt down beside me and said..." Hey preacher....Get ahold of yourself...You are the evangelist here..."

Those were precious days in my ministry.

God bless
BroRutledge

[Adoniyah]

Brother Rutledge:

I will now continue with my answers. You asked:

"Were you ever a sinner? How did you come to know the Lord?"

Was I ever a sinner? Nooooooo-o-o-o-o-o. At least, my mama did not think so. Well, ok, I was the worst of sinners when at the age of seven, I received the Holy Ghost. As David said, "I remember the pit from which I was digged." Maybe I was not on dope nor was I an alcoholic or a whoremonger but my sin was just as evil. The blood of Jesus washed that all away.

How did I come to know the Lord? I was born in an Apostolic pastor's home. Actually, I think I must have had the Holy Ghost all of my life....if that is possible. Even as a very little kid before I actually claimed the Holy Ghost, I was always quite fervent in praise, worship and love toward the Lord and the things of God. I have always had the joy of God in my heart and really felt no difference in the before and after 1947.

You asked:

"What can you think of that happened in your ministry that makes you very happy?"

No one thing brings to me any greater happiness. In general, seeing the lost running to the altars with tears of sorrow running down their cheeks gives me exceeding joy. To see the sick, suffering, the diseased delivered by the power of God gives me exceeding joy. In teaching the Word, to watch the light of God break in on the faces of those hearing truths for their first time gives me great joy.

You asked:

"Have you ever had an embarrassing moment in the work of God? Is it something you can share?"

If anyone has been preaching for any length of time at all, they have had embarssing moments. I am certainly no exception.

I could not figure out why the kids were giggling nor could I figure out why the adults were squirming. I was feeling pretty good in my message.

Then the Pastor steped forward and whispered in my ear, "Brother, you fly is open." I looked down and not only was my fly open, but my shirt tail was sticking out through it also. Being quite young, I was very embarassed. I don't think I would be too much embarassed today if that were to happen again. Age has a way of lessening the pain of embarassment.

You also asked:

"What is happening in your ministry today, and what do you see in the future?"

I no longer pursue the style of ministry that I have for many years. I have mostly conducted my crusades under my Gospel tents and rented auditoriums. I no longer do that. In fact, I still have one remaining tent for sale that I would like to sell.

For the past few years, my ministry has been mostly confined to an occasional week-end engagements with friends that I have known for many years. Also, occasional home services, mostly in other peoples homes and very occasionally in my own. Some on this Cafe have been in my meetings.

For the past few years, I have conducted business for my living while continuning ministry. Soon, I will retire as I am now almost 63 years old. I will then live permanently in Rockland, Texas. I am there much of the time anyway.

I am feeling more and more that the Lord might have me to open up an Apostolic Teaching Center there. I might would call it "Calvary's Healing Steams."

I would like to not only reach out for the lost, sick, dying and hopless around and about, but also to teach (so important) those that would like to learn how to operate in the deliverance ministry of Jesus. After all, there is no true ministry except it be a deliverance ministry.

I feel a burden for young struggling ministers that have little or no direction whose Pastors have little clue themselves.

You asked:

"Have you ever prepared a message that didn't get preached?"

I have prepaired messages for certain congregations that I felt certain that the Lord would have delivered there. Many, many times long before half way into it, the Word already spoken would stir the Spirit and I would have only one thing to do...just get out of the way and go hide somewhere. While I certainly rejoice in the fact that God takes charge of the service, I often wish that I could have delivered my "master piece." I use the word "master piece" with tongue in cheek. :) Some of those "master pieces" have never been delivered.

Enough about me. I would like to hear about others also.

I visited brother Gamblin in the hospital in Port Arthur some time back. He did not look very good, but we had a wonderful time in the Lord and fellowship recounting the really old days. He was truly a red hot firey Evangelist for many many years. He loved his tent crusades. It is from him that I received a love for it also.

[jbenjesus]

From Birth to 99’

This is my testimony of the grace and love that the Father has bestowed to me through Jesus Christ -my Lord and my God-.

My parents divorced when I was very young, maybe at the age of four years old. We once lived in New York, but my mother and I soon moved to Tampa and from Tampa to Miami, where I have resided now most of my life. Since I could ever remember, I have always gone to "Christian" schools. Though my parents were not "Christian", they did have high moral and ethical standards and values. Not always biblical, but they did have them.

Having never attended public schools, I gained a pretty good amount of knowledge about God and the Bible. They made us memorize verses, attend Bible classes, and/or once a week attend assemblies in the chapel. They definitely had their alter calls to have students invite Jesus in their hearts.

I remember in sixth grade having one of those “alter calls” during our mid-week chapel service. I went up, and though I don’t remember the details, I thought I had "accepted Jesus into my heart." I changed schools in seventh grade and there were other alter calls and for some reason I was always doubting and wondering if I did accept Jesus, as they were preaching. So I remember for about two years I was doubting in my seat every time they did their altar calls. Then something happened in 8th or 9th grade, and I decided that I did indeed "accept Jesus into my heart" and so I believed that I shouldn’t be doubting anymore. So after that, I never doubted again.

Now, because of my upbringing I really wasn’t a "bad" kid or "problem child". I generally obeyed my parents and didn’t get really into any trouble of any kind. But one thing I always noticed, looking back through the years, was that it never seemed to me that my life ever changed when I "accepted Jesus in to my heart." I felt like the same old kid doing the same old thing, which means since I wasn’t a "bad" kid, I still kept not doing bad things. However, that doesn’t mean I never sinned. I did sin as a kid and all throughout my high school years. Come to think of it, even now I sin, but in essence, back then I wasn't clean, no matter how much I tried to not be a "bad" kid.

So through my high school years, I felt comfortable that I had "Jesus in my heart" and that all was well. Yet, I really continued to live my life the way I thought was right. Some of it agreeing with scripture, and some of it not agreeing with scripture. At this time of my life, I did a lot of arguing with my mom and it grew and grew over middle school and high school years. I was constantly calling and telling my Dad (who still lived in N.Y.) how unfair this was and unrealistic she was being. The fighting became almost the norm if not for the lulls of silence between us, and the few and far between moments of casual conversation. It got to the point where at the end of my first year of college, only working part time, she wanted me out of the house by the next summer because she couldn’t live with me like this. That was about October or November of 1994.

Suddenly, she died at the end of the next month of a sudden and unexpected heart attack, in December of 1994 at the ripe young age of 40. I was only 20 at the time.

Needless to say, this was utterly and completely devastating to me. Within a few short months of her death, my little sister who lived with us, moved with her dad (not my Dad) to Puerto Rico and in the span of 3 months I had lost the two most important people in my life, who were in close proximity to me. I had a mortgage on my hands that I couldn’t afford working part time and felt totally alone, with the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one there to help me.

I use these words to describe my situation, but if you would have seen me at that time you would not have been able to detect, very much anyway, the affect it had on me. I didn’t realize till after a year had passed the depths of brokenness that I had experienced.

The year after my mom’s death was spent searching. I mean really truly searching for something to hold on to. My "faith" was distant memory, and as I said before, it really did not change my life. But it was that foundation of "faith" and the love of God that led me to a real and true relationship with Jesus Christ.

I, by invitation of a friend, started a bible study group at the end of that first year after my mom’s death. Then I met a pastor who discipled me for 3 ½ years and for the first 8-10 sessions with him, I cried and cried in his arms...

...every single session.

You must understand that when my mom died, at the hospital, I went out of the emergency room yelling at, cursing at, and damning God and everything that had to do with Him, straight through to the parking lot outside. Shaking and crying there on the curb, however, I asked the Father to forgive me and immediately I stopped crying and shaking. But I never cried about it again for a whole year.

Nevertheless, God continually showed me His love, mercy and grace for me, as well as His power. At this church, I was baptized and I received the Holy Spirit. This church is not what I would consider now an apostolic church. I don’t remember if I was baptized in the name of Jesus or not. But I’ll get back to this later.

Later, I realized that I was being led by the Spirit, to appropriate the plan of salvation through the apostle’s gospel of Jesus Christ.

Some time after this (1999), through discussion with a precious brother named Clarence Harris, and the scriptures, it was revealed to me that repentance, being baptized in the name of Jesus to the forgiveness of sins, and taking the Spirit was the plan of salvation, laid out by Jesus through his apostles. I questioned the necessity of the three. I still thought that it was solely by believing in Him that a man would be saved. However, believing without obeying is like saying that you believe a chair will hold you up when you sit in it, but never sitting in it.
That's trust! and that's a big difference.

I questioned my history and realized that when I thought I had "accepted Jesus into my heart" in sixth grade, I really hadn’t. I only convinced myself that I had and I allowed myself to walk in my own understanding and experience so that I could continue to walk in my own self will. But when the time came that I had to measure my experience with the measuring stick -the word of God-, I could not argue. I realized I didn’t have Jesus in my heart, at that time, and my life’s fruit was the evidence of that. Nothing changed. My life was not led by the Spirit and I definitely was not walking in holiness. Even though I had knowledge of scripture, and knew about Jesus, I really didn’t have a relationship to speak of beyond that knowledge.

I came to realize that you don’t have relationships with knowledge, you have them with people. Jesus came into my heart when I took His Spirit, and I have no doubt in my heart about that and it lines up perfectly with scripture.

At this point, the timing of the events that I have described above overlap each other so hopefully you can stick with…

Now let me address the pastor that I met who “discipled” me for approximately 3 ½ to 4 years. This pastor led a home group. The first time I attended this fellowship (95’ or 96’) I was awed with the move of the Spirit. Never seen or experienced anything like it in my life, up to that point. What many of you may consider common everyday occurrences in your church now, I had never experienced anything like it, live. God got my attention that night. It was approximately a year after my mom’s death. I had a girlfriend whose parents were attending this fellowship so I attended.

Not soon after this, I was taken under wing by this pastor. He said the Lord showed him that I was like a “cork bobbing in the sea” with really no direction (which as absolutely true). The Lord said that he was to be a father to me. As I said previously, that when I began to meet with him on a weekly basis for personal ministry I cried every single session for 8-10 weeks straight, in his arms. I was dealing with a lot of issues with my mom and her death, judgment of her, and the pain and brokenness I experienced through it all. The struggles of keeping a mortgage while only working part time all the different financial burdens that were, in a sense dumped, on me to handle alone because of her death, for a whole year had taken its toll.

Because of these sessions, I received a lot of healing that I needed. The relationship with my pastor and I really bonded because of that and I received him as a Father in my life. So for 3 ½ to 4 years I worked with him in the ministry of this church. I later was baptized in water and after that received the Spirit. However, I don’t know what I was baptized in at the time. The true gospel and its obedience was not an issue to me, yet.

To make a very long story short, the relationship between that pastor and I that started out purely as a Father/son became defiled by sin. The defiling continued for the better part of those years that I was with him.

Cont. next post...

[jbenjesus]

A few years later, in Nov. of 1997, I broke up with my girlfriend. My pastor and I began to pray in agreement for a wife. I remember praying specific things that I wanted in my wife, not necessarily selfish, but really characteristics of a virtuous woman. One of them I remember clearly was to have woman that would come along side me in whatever God called to me to do and be.

One month later late December of 1997, my wife arrived at my church. I didn’t know it then, but in August of 98’ we were married.

Now, I first met Clarence, my apostolic brother, in July/August of 1998, about a month before I got married. He came with his wife, and few of his “brood” (6 or 7 kids I forget which), and talked with me extensively, sort of like a father to a son whose about to be married. My wife, then fiancée, already knew Clarence for many years so the gathering was really to find out who I was. The gathering lasted longer than expected. We even arrived to church that Saturday night late, but Clarence was well-pleased with me and my relationship with God so his family prayed for us and blessed before they left.

During my years in this fellowship I became a deacon, worship leader, and administrator of the church. All responsibilities that I look back on now were too great for me to handle with a wife and growing family. But I also realize when I moved into those positions I was single.

Because of the defilement of the relationship between my pastor and me, my wife and I left the church, but not before our brother Clarence held a conference for that church somewhere near then end of the summer of 99’. Although the theme was the End Times, Clarence did address salvational issues with the Jewish roots apostolic perspective. It created quite a stir in our church after he left, but our pastor came out with “Well, there are 3 baptisms. There is a baptism of the Father, a baptism of the Son, and a baptism of the Holy Ghost.” He was trying to explain away the necessity of baptism in Jesus name for salvation.

My pastor even admitted he wasn’t sure what he pronounced at baptism. He thought he said, “in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, in Jesus name” but he wasn’t sure. I could go into so much more, but I’m trying to be as brief as possible.

When I left the church, I wanted to leave and knew God wanted me out of there as soon as possible, but I didn’t know why it was so painful and why I had such mixed emotions. I asked Jesus many months later why He had us break part in the way He did and He told me, “To save you and your family.” To say the least, I was broken.

A year after leaving, I was finally so broken that I was able to express to my wife in detail all the defilement from beginning to end. That was such a relief. I felt such shame, guilt, and self-condemnation that I was not growing in Him. But when I did confess to my wife what did take place it began the road back.

While this took place, we were attending another church (for about 2 years in total) that was not “apostolic”. They believed in all aspects of Acts 2:38, but they cut it up and butchered it and gave it in pieces. To them, as long as you repented and believed you were saved. They did have their baptismal services (originally I thought is was in Jesus’ name, but when I left that church in 2002, that became unclear to me) and encouraged the baptism in the Spirit that you need to receive it to overcome.

When I was confronted by Clarence, in the summer of 99’, regarding the true gospel and obedience thereof, it began a personal quest in my life to know the truth and receive it from no man any further, lest it be revealed to me by His Spirit. I left that summer of 99’ searching to see if the scriptures and interpretation presented to me was true. I found it to be true, without a doubt in my heart. During late 99’ and early 00’ I was at a job that I was able to do my job while being on the internet. I began browsing through apostolic.net and came across Bro. David Bernard’s book, The Oneness of God.

I remember reading and consuming that book on the internet so fast. I never preached or taught the trinity. It really was a non-debatable issue to me. I had just assumed it’s truth through years of presentation as truth. Never really looked into it until I read Bro. Bernard’s book. The belief that I held to concerning the trinity washed off my mind and heart like water off duck’s back. I too, like the salvation and obedience issue, began to search out the scriptures, only to find that their truly is one God, without persons, and His name is Jesus.

Because I was unsure of my water baptism, my wife and I went to our community pool in our housing development and baptized each other calling on the name of Jesus. She too, was baptized because she didn’t remember what she was baptized into either. It had been so many years previous, even before me. So eventually, we were properly buried. We had already received the Spirit years before and He was faithful to lead us into this truth .

Today, I attend a UPC church that has just started. My family of 5 are really the only members of this church. It’s slow going, but our pastor shepherds another church with many more members and some of those members visit our church. I’m not sure how long we will remain, but that’s where were at right now.

I lead a home/care group in my house on Friday’s with 2 couples, both younger than us in the faith, however one is younger and the other is older in years than us. I’ve been able to baptize 3 of them in the name of Jesus, and see two receive the Spirit. The other seems to have received the Spirit already. The fourth is a case in work.

Today, I am gratefully and happily married, with three children, 3, 2, and less than 1.

As short as I can put it, that’s my last 8 years of life.

Next post is to answer some of your questions.

[jbenjesus]

Now to the questions you posed…
Have you ever prepared a message that didn't get preached?
Yes. And some were just postponed for a later date.
How did you know that you were to be a minister?
In the first church I attended, where the pastor took me under his wing, I was raised to become a minister. I worked very closely with the pastor and started to have a great Father-son relationship with him. I learned a lot about ministry because of this relationship being so close and working along side him, even though over a 3 ½ period it became defiled.

Nevertheless, I learned much, or maybe I should say experienced when one is moving in the Spirit – especially when moving in the gifts, especially word of knowledge, word of wisdom, tongues, and interpretation of tongues, healing, etc..

I also must admit that although I saw and experienced great moves of God, I’ve had trouble looking back at those times and discerning between the real move of God and the flesh or counterfeit of the enemy (because of the defilement). So I really don’t feel I have a good handle on it. I’ve questioned so much of that period of time, but I do know the Lord is teaching me or I should say re-teaching me again.
Have you gone through difficult times in the ministry? Did you come out with a testimony of victory? What happened? Whenever you minister to those that are close to you, that you truly call friends and brothers, God seemingly jeopardizes that friendship and relationship in order to confront them with things you see in their life that the Lord has shown you they need to deal with. We serve two married couples (and whoever else shows up to our home group).

Many times you see things and you lay back praying for them and that God would show them, but some times the Lord causes you to confront them with delicate issues that they don’t seem to be addressing.

Sometimes you see possible outcomes of their decisions and sometimes you have to step back and let God be God in their lives in order for them to learn to hear Him and respond to Him.

It’s a delicate balance, but you as a minister must be maintain a right relationship with Jesus in order to know when and how to address things, or if to address them.

The times that I have had to confront them on certain issues, they have responded with repentance and a newfound trust in God. My wife and I always wonder if they’ll talk to us again or continue our fellowship when we confront them. But they have thus far responded as if God spoke to them they are stronger for it.

That to me is a victory!
What can you think of that happened in your ministry that makes you very happy? Seeing the group that I work with continue to be faithful to the Lord, maturing and growing in Him (even though sometimes it seems as if they are growing backwards).

Seeing them when confronted by me or the Lord personally, their heartfelt repentance and change to please Him in all things.

Seeing them become more free from the things that bind them (unbelief, doubts, reservations, etc.) and becoming more bold and confident in Jesus.

Seeing God be faithful and merciful to them when on the outside it seems like they have stalled in their journey and regressed somewhat.What is happening in your ministry today, and what do you see in the future? Today, my wife and I feel, God has a “hidden ministry” for us. It’s hard to explain in words what I mean by that, but we both feel we are not people meant to be in the forefront, yet God places us there sometimes. However, for the most part our ministry is hidden and unrecognized by many eyes. It’s actually perfectly fine with us.

When I left my second church God gave me a vision, that although I have an idea of its meaning, I seem to gaining more understanding of it as I walk with Him. He didn’t give me full meaning and understanding of the vision when I received it, but then again, does He ever?

The vision was this:

My family and I are the blood cells of His body. Never seen. Hardly ever noticed, but so vital to the everyday functions of the body.

The blood cells travel through the blood stream giving life to all members of the body, without prejudice, and always return to the heart, to go out and supply the needs of the members.

I used to think the heart was some church. I’ve come to realize that the heart of this vision is the heart of God. As He supplies us with the oxygen (life) we then travel unnoticed throughout the body supplying all the needing members with sustenance to do their responsibilities. After our work is done, we return to His Heart, His presence, His anointing, to refresh ourselves and receive our next “batch of life” for another needing member.

That’s all I’ll share for now regarding that.