Serving God alone [Archive] - The Good News Café

foreverblessed

03-14-2003, 10:02 PM

Ddc,

Being newly single I do have to say I have it good at the church I am apart of.
God has blessed us recently with new souls. We now have 10 single adults. (7 are men! :D) 4 of them have just come in the last 3 months. The church only runs about 65 now, used to be a lot larger. So I think we have a pretty good mixture and balance of people.

With the pastor being young, he encourages us all to fellowship together regardless of marriage or being single. We have a lot of activities and just good times of getting together in the church fellowship area. We are all included in any fellowship regardless of age or marital status.

I can honestly say that I have not suffered from feeling alone. I did at first after separation, but it was myself withdrawing from the body of Christ.

It probably also helps that I have two single sisters in their 40's, that are content in being career women. I have their fellowship also.

The Lord has been my strength, and I give him all the praise for being right by my side through everything I have had to face.

I know I am not the only single lady here, but thanks Ddc for caring enough to ask about us, and the load that we do carry.

tufluv

03-14-2003, 11:30 PM

I don't know if it makes a difference , for THIS thread, still being with a husband, living together, yet apart in the LORD, but here's my take.

I think it must be nice, to have a spiritual, godly husband, whom really LOVES the LORD, has a personal relationship with HIM, to really complete the "two shall become one" picture, but mine has never "gotten" that way. I've never had a husband like that (I've been married 3 times), but having not known what that's like, I don't have anything to compare my current life with, so I NEVER feel truly sad about it, I don't really feel alone. I've got my JESUS with me, 24/7!! Who needs anything more?

What I do feel is some kind of emotion akin to pity, and sadness,, for him, sometimes he seems an enigma to me, I just cannot for the life of me imagine ever being without my LORD, fellowship, with HIM, HE is EVERYTHING, EVERYONE to me! And that is an awesome reality, that my husband just doesn't understand, he thinks we're fanatics!

BUT, the bigger truth is, that it doesn't really bother me that much, I have my sisters, my sons are always there with me at church, so I still have family around no matter what! We will all return to Jesus ALONE, so I'm used to it!!!

I think he's a fool, he's missing out on the ABUNDANT christian, lifestyle, the POWER that comes from being a HOLYGHOST filled vessel! He just don't KNOW! and doesn't care to know. He's had his chances to "get there" but his heart has never really been in it. Thats the KEY there.
Yet, I can't change him, per se, a person has to want to change, desire a more abundant walk with JESUS, w/o that, growth is stunted. Feeding "fleshly lusts" don't help, neither, but its not MY job to change him.

I don't have it as bad as someone whose husband HAS been in the LORD, serving as a pastor, minister, something of a deeper service to GOD, who then backslides, but my sister has, and is still torn up over it! She's not going to quit serving, on the contrary, but she does miss the once sweet fellowship they had together serving GOD, she still clings to hope that he will return, but shows no signs, whatsoever, of returning, I can't even imagine how that must tear out a wife's heart! She has cried her heart out, to no avail. That former wonderful servant of Christ, has earned himself a reprobate mind, - tragic., while I watch my sister's anguish, yet she still remains a trooper! She and I together hold each other up, whilst our husbands party with the world, fellowship with the world, LOVE the world. I don't hate him, I do love him, and I know that the LORD does too, and will deal with him HIS way.

THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM;
THE UNFEAR of the LORD is the beginning of self-DESTRUCTION.

survivor4christ

03-15-2003, 12:15 AM

Yes, being single at times is very hard for me. Other times I am thankful for the time (not much) that I have now to consecrate myself unto God.

I was married twice to the same man (long story!) and my struggle therein was missing the physical intimacy my ex and I had. My ex and I have been divorced for about two and 1/2 years now-in which time by the grace of God I have been celibate-- and it has been a long struggle with this flesh, but God is my strength.

He was never there for the kids, so I was used to raising them all by myself, me and the Lord. Sad to say, he just was a sperm donor, as far as the kids were concerned. I loved him, but he was a horrible father. I harbor no bitterness or unforgiveness towards him, if anything I feel sorry for him b/c he is not a part of his kids' lives. He is truly missing out on a miracle, three miracles...

But, there are times when God knows I am alone, or feel all alone. Like I cannot take being a single mom anymore.

Sometimes I feel so vulnerable, uncovered, with no one there to protect and defend me and my babies. Sometimes I feel like we are just fair game to the devil b/c there is no shepherd over our home.

But then God steps in and reminds me that HE is our defender, HE is our strength, HE is our protector. HE covers us in His Shadow and under His wing we have refuge. And when that anointing flows, it shows, even on my kids. They used to ask me about having a daddy; now they know JESUS is their daddy until He chooses to send us one.

Amen?

God has been faithful to keep us, and to keep my kids safe, resilient, and loving God.

To God be the Glory and all the Praise!
Love, Sis. Wenona

Not to invoke sympathy, but while the baby does not even know his earthly father, his smile and joyous disposition is a result of God's Hand on his life and reassuring him that Jesus loves him and will never leave or forsake him. The older two forget it from time to time, but then they'll remember and we all hold one another and thank God for each other. I recognize God's Hand on my two oldest children as well. My daughter had to go to special ed two years ago, and two weeks ago she was miraculously transitioned into a regular school setting, up to par with her fellow classmates academically! My oldest son, an intelligent, witty, basketball player, has had God's favor smile down on his life.

For example...

A simple fight at school almost led to my son's expulsion. The parent's of the other boy called the cops on my boy and tried to stranglehold the principal into kicking out my son out of the prestigious magnet school he goes to. Well, to God be the glory, my son is still in the school, has a paraprofessional assigned to him only, and invoked the sympathy of all his teachers so much so that they help convince the principal to not listen to the parents who were trying to drum up all these allegations against my son. It is a very long story, but just the way this whole thing worked out, it was nothing but God! My son is very smart, is learning Japanese, is reading at the sixth grade level, and from time to time, locks me out of my own computer!:) He gets angry seemingly for no reason; I pray about this and as a part of the agreement I made with the school board, he must go to counsel for anger mgt. But I still it is working out for all our good.

The enemy tried to stifle that by trying to bring reproach on my son, but that devil is a liar!!

We still aren't all the way out of the woods. My son will have to appear before a judge as to why he hit the boy, who is older than he. It was all a case of parents overeacting to boys being boys.

But God showed favor, and I thank Him for that!

Goodshepherd

03-15-2003, 01:10 AM

This is a very interesting topic to read. I am not a single parent but my mother was. She was my father and mother most of my life. Yes I heard from my father every month, and I get to see him once a year for a month, but when it came down to it, my mother was the one who taught me all that I know.

She showed me the way to the Lord and I forever will thank her. Single parent are special because they wear two hats. They are both a mother and a father to their children............... I believe God has given them a special strenght that is undescribable or explainable.

Sis Wenona, your testimony touched my heart, not out of pity but out of love for my fellow sister in the Lord.

She has raised us well and it was all God's doing...............

I know it was my aunts, grandmother and mother's prayer that kept and is keeping me and my sister. He has kept me thus far and I pray each night that he will ever continue to keep me. Whenever I feel like I am slipping, I try to remember the promise that God made to me which is " he will never leave me nor forsake me."

My mother did get lonely at times when she was single but as far as I know she tried her best not to focus on the loneliness...................... The scripture that comes to mind is "The Lord will not give you more than you can bear."

One can either pick themself up and move on with life or live in despair, hurt, or hatred forever. If they choose the latter, they are asking for trouble because what they are doing is committing spiritual suicide.

I heard someone said once that "If you admit defeat, then defeat will admit you in its custody permanently." Another quote I like is "Why cry over spill milk, what you neeed to do is get some paper towel and start cleaning up the milk."

God will never leave you and he will definately not give you more than you can bear......................

ddc101

03-15-2003, 08:26 AM

Serving God alone can be difficult at times but Jesus always makes up for the loss.I remember when my husband used to get very selfish and wouldn't give me any money for extras I needed.The backslidden spirit he possessed was very selfish.As backsliders truly are the most selfish people.Well he would get even angrier because I would get money in the mail from people would move upon to send it to me.He now testifies about this when he preaches.He says it would infuriate him when he would try and stiff me and Jesus would step in and supply the need.
lv sis.c

foreverblessed

03-15-2003, 10:24 AM

As I have already said above, I don't deal so much with being lonely, because of great friendships and fellowship, but some things mentioned above by Goodshepherd and survivor has hit close to home.

I was raised by a wonderful Father who made me feel so special. He was there to tell me I was beautiful and protect me as only a father can. I had a very close, close relationship with him. I am who I am today because of his strong spiritual guidance in my life.

I do have fear concerning my girls being raised without a father. I recently had a teacher tell me I needed to really watch my oldest because I didn't want to be a grandmother so young.

It was a rude thing for her say, but my oldest is very quickly growing up, and is really built nice and has had her fair share of attention from the oposite sex. I had to tell a seventeen year old boy in another church, that she was too young to date. She might be as tall as her mother and look old enough, but she is only 13 (twelve at that time).

I fear that my girls are going to look for male attention in the wrong places. I was raised with this need being fulfilled in my life, and it really scares me. I don't know where to begin in giving to them the need of affirmation from the oposite sex. I know that it is important to their emotional growth.

The only male in our family, is my brother, who is also our Pastor, and is busy with his own three children, and pastoring a church. He has really reached out in the last couple of weeks to my girls, and they have really noticed. The comment was make by my 11 year old that he was kinda like a father to her. It really tears me up when I hear these comments being made about needing a Father. We were going home from church one night, and Elaine (my oldest) said "Mom, I really need a hug, can I go back to the church and give Uncle John a Hug?" I took her back and sent her back in. As women, we all needed that affirmation of a male in our lives growing up, some received it, and those that didn't suffer in some way, or did until God healed those scars or fulfilled that need.

My ex-husband who had moved to Texas, has moved back to our area. I have been praying that God would move upon his heart to make some changes in his life and at least give him the desire to be the father that he should be to his girls and to support them.

I would appreciate all of your prayers concerning my girls. They need it.

Survivor,
I married my ex twice. It has always been a standing joke around here, you can only marry the same man three times, and that is IT by Indiana law. I was dangerously pushing toward the State's limit. :rolleyes: We had an extemely rocky relationship, and I have actually file for divorce 5 times. Only two have been finalized. The last was final in January.

The only reason I can give for taking him back so many times is God would begin dealing with my heart on his being restored to his family and church. Anytime I ever took him back, he was back in church within two months,and everything would be good for about a year.
I would be standing in front of him with the divorce papers in hand, ready to be signed, and even though I hadn't seen him (ex) in 2-3 months, I would always be convicted, and throw away the papers and tell him to come back home.
Craig was actually a good father when he was faithfully serving God, he did allow the spirit to rule in his life.

I will pray for you sister, I know raising those kids by yourself isn't easy. Pray for me too.

witness4jesus

03-15-2003, 08:01 PM

First of all, I want to say thank you to Sis Cooper for starting this thread. Nearly three months ago, my husband left state to live with relatives. His intention is not to come back, and yet, he does want me to take him back.

It has left me with some very difficult decisions, but also, seeking the will of God.

My husband and I have been married 25 years. We missed our 25th anniversary, since he left right before it. But things were so terrible, that is not nearly as heart-breaking as living in a torn house.

Over the years, my husband abused me physically, emotionally, psychologically [he is manic-depressive], as well as abusing our older son who still at 26 has nightmares of the things that happened.

Eight years ago this June, I received the Holy Ghost. It was the greatest thing that ever happened in my life, and I have not looked back. But my husband did not want to live for God and though he did come to church, get baptized in Jesus name and get the Holy Ghost. After 3 months, he backslid and has persecuted me in living for God ever since.

5 years ago, we were similarly separated, and I was warned in the Holy Ghost not to be deceived by my husband, and that I should not rush to take him back. I did not heed the counsel of God, and have paid dearly for it. One by one, my husband took everything I had from me in the way of living for God, except going to church. I dropped out of everything in an effort to please him, and it effected my walk with God.

Two years ago, God got me back on track, but again my husband has fought me. This past year I had to make some tough decisions, and it came to our separation in December.

I have heard many counselors on this issue, but the bottom line to me is, I am moving forward in God, and I just cannot be taken off the path again. It isn't just a matter of my husband getting saved; it's a matter of me holding on to the end. Taking him back without a total change in his life would just not work.

This is something I have prayed about for many years, and I am at the point where I just have to trust that God will work this out to His will. My two sons and I are making efforts to finally put the pieces of our lives together again.

Loneliness is a big issue sometimes, but I am preparing to move in with a friend, so that should make it somewhat more bearable.

Hearing all these testimonies helps me to know that I can get through this. I had a dream many years ago that my husband and my sons would serve God. I want that more than anything, but it is something I have had to put in His hands.

Thanks, sis cooper.

sis pam

ddc101

03-15-2003, 09:46 PM

Sister Witness,
I know how you feel.I cried myself to sleep many a night when my husband was running from Jesus and the call of God.I however threw myself into full time ministry whatever avenue Jesus would ask of me.I did not neglect my home and children but while he SLEPT IN on Saturday mornings I would put my little one in a stroller and all of us would lead saturday morning door knocking.It seemed like the thing to do.I had a dream where a horrible storm was headed my way and a large oak appeared in front of me.It opened up and I fit nicely inside.When the storm passed by I barely noticed.I heard the old tune Rock of Age Cleft for me and let me hide myself in thee...You have evidently done the same.Jesus will be your husband just hang in there.He can be trusted and he will always provide.sis.c

survivor4christ

03-15-2003, 11:26 PM

Wow, Sis. Pam.

I know what you are going through. Being married to someone who does not share the same passion for Jesus as you do can hinder you in your walk.

I had to learn that the hard way. My ex scared the xxxxxxx outta me one nite. He had been drinking and came in late, crying about having had gotten drunk. I said nothing, I was too hurt and tried to just fall asleep. He kept talking and said, 'It's as if the darkness calls me..."

Two days later I left him and entered a domestic violence shelter.

We had an encounter that could have been very messy and ugly had not his family stepped in. I was five months pregnant with my daughter. They told me to just leave my ex alone, walk away and they would take care of my son.

You know how the argument started? He didn't want my son and I to go to prayer meeting!

I was still fairly new in the Lord and took this as an affront to my faith. I took it very personal and got a little caught up in the flesh. I could not understand how this man who was so gloriously filled with the Holy Ghost, this man who laid hands on whinos and drug addicts on the street. This man who had a very special anointing on his life, how he could allow the enemy back into his life like that? How could he give the devil access into our family like that, does he not love us?

This took me a very long time to get over. For the longest time I thought it was b/c I wasn't strong enough, or pretty enough, or prayerful enough. Just wasn't good enough to win my husband to the Lord. The enemy had me all in a ball over this for years. B/c I really loved my husband; he was my first love and at one time, he was the sweetest man I knew.

Guess I knew a lot of jerks!:rolleyes:

Anyway...

God is able to heal, to comfort and to be there for us. If we just let him. Let him know it hurts. Cry on His Shoulder. Let Him know how hurt you are that this man you have loved for so long how can he not love the God who created you? Who has been keeping you, loving you, taking care of you?

At some point, God steps in and He makes Himself real to you in a sense that you know He is my Husband. He is my covering. It is still a process of revelation for myself as well. I thank God for it...

And God can heal your childrens' wounds, too. He is doing it for us...

Love, Sis. Wenona

ddc101

03-19-2003, 09:48 PM

Hi Sisters,
Each one of you are special and are unique to the Lord.I once told a friend that Jesus is able to love us all the same and yet deal with us all individually and make us feel like we are the only one....know what i mean? sis.c

survivor4christ

03-20-2003, 06:48 AM

Yeah, like an only child!

Only our God can love millions, billions of people and treat each one like an only child....

As Donnie McClurkin sings...

"Great is your mercy towards me
Your lovingkindness towards me
Your tender mercies I see
Day after day....

Forever faithful towards me
You're always providing for me
Great is your mercy towards me
Great is your grace...."

Love, Sis. Wenona

ddc101

03-20-2003, 10:54 PM

That is so beautiful Sis.Wenona.I love to read your posts.You are very good at expressing your feelings in print.This blessed me today.lv sis.c

witness4jesus

03-21-2003, 11:11 AM

If you all could keep me in prayer, but mostly for my family.
I am trying to make the right decisions, which is not always
easy.

I am staying with friends from the church, but my husband
is pressuring me to let him come back.

All my life, the decisions I have made have been because I cannot say "no" and give in, even when I know its the wrong thing to
do. This time, I want to make sure I make the right decision
with a clear head.

I guess I do feel somewhat guilty. I want more than anything
for my family to be together, yet everything seems to be pulling
us apart. My husband thinks all those things come from me.

I am just trying to sort everything out.

Please keep me in prayer.

sis pam

searching

03-21-2003, 05:53 PM

Foreverblessed, I sent you a private message a couple days ago. Could you check to see if you received it and get back to me please?

Thanks.

Me...

witness4jesus

03-21-2003, 06:19 PM

I dont believe I got it, searching.

My email is pjparizo@hotmail.com

sis pam

tufluv

03-21-2003, 07:09 PM

Sister Pam, I also sent you one today, guess you didn't get it either?

witness4jesus

03-21-2003, 07:10 PM

No, I have not got either message.

I do have an alternate email. I will check that.
I will also check with admin to make sure they
have my correct email.

sis pam

searching

03-21-2003, 07:13 PM

Sis. Pam, my message was for Foreverblessed, hun. Sorry for the confusion.

Me...

ThirdGeneration

03-22-2003, 11:36 PM

Witness- I know you love your family and I know you love God.

I would like to point somethng out to you in Scripture which you can do what you want with. It certainly does not speak directly to your situation, but bears consideration....

Consider the story of the Prodical son. The father NEVER tried to prevent his son from leaving. He gave him his inheritance and let him leave.

However, the prodical son was not free to partake of the pig pen and live in his father's house at the same time....

When the son recognized his condition, was fully repented, and no longer wanted to play in the pig pen; his father took him back with open arms (and put a ring on his finger symbolic of their family unity).

Someone else to consider, of course is Abigail who acted against her husband's wishes to save all those in her house. I do not believe God expects a wife to keep herself or her family in harm's way if she has done everything else she can do.

God will make a way for you.... You are in my heart and prayers.

witness4jesus

03-23-2003, 01:05 AM

I want to thank you for your prayers.
God did make a way. Its like He took it all out of the
way, without me doing a thing. I thank Him tonight.

The pressure is off, so now I can just focus on
living for God, and let God do what He will.

I am praying that my sons and my husband will
turn to God, but as the old song says, if none
go with me, I will follow.

Praise the Lord tonight!

sis pam

Goodshepherd

03-23-2003, 05:10 PM

All you have to do is continually surrender your situation to him because he said that he will not give you more than you can bare.

ddc101

03-24-2003, 08:36 AM

For all of you who are reading but not replying out of humiliation for what you are going through.Sometimes it is good to tell someone.I want to encourage all of you whose husbands or wives do not live for God or live for God inconsistantly to put all of yourself into Gods will and his ways.Sometimes we can be weakened by the situation and falter.But we need not falter because we are serving God out of love.I see relationships all the time where people are trying to make their spouses happy and living for just that instead of Jesus Christ.I know of one woman who states,"I can't live for God with the husband I have." But thats because she has a false concept of what she is supposed to do and any less than that is idolatry.We need to be sure that we are serving Jesus and not man.lv sis.c

foreverblessed

03-24-2003, 02:47 PM

Searching,
haven't gotten anything yet. I won't be online but during the hours of school time 7:30-3:00 EST. You can try again.

foreverblessed

03-24-2003, 02:51 PM

Excellent advice and post Third! Amen!

UPC Lady

03-25-2003, 11:49 AM

Sis. Cooper,
I've read all of the posts on this thread and have wanted to respond but have not known what to say because this is something that is close to my heart. Although I was raised in this beautiful truth I did not receive the Holy Ghost until I was 21 which was 3 yrs. after I had gotten married. I was 15 and my husband was 17 when we met and neither of us had any idea that the other one knew anything at all about truth. After we began to get to know one another he told me that some of my relatives had taken he, his brother and sister and their cousins to church. To make a long story short, in 1977 one day he came home from work and told me that we were going to church on Wed. night. I didn't go with him that night. He went alone and came home a changed man. He had been to the altar, repented, made arrangements to be baptized on Sunday, threw his cigarettes out the window on the way home from church and wanted to start giving tithes. He wanted me to be there when he got baptized and that is when I became convicted and started going to church as well. He never received the Holy Ghost and still hasn't. For years he would go to church some then he got to where he would go on Easter and now he doesn't even do that. I've lived for God for 25 years alone and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I took our 2 children to church and today they are grown and both of them are living for God for which I am thankful. Our daughter has 2 precious children who are being raised in truth. Our grandchildren are 6th generation Pentecost. Though my husband doesn't live for God he is a wonderful man and has been an excellent husband and father. I know that one day he will be living for God. My advice to women whose husbands aren't living for God is to not give up, keep praying, keep fasting, keep loving your husband, keep living for God and one day he will be living for God as well. I am longing for that day and expecting it soon! After all the Word does say, "Anything we ask in His name with faith believing it shall be done." The Lord wants him to make it to Heaven even more than I do. Lord bless you and everyone else who is reading these words, UPC Lady

ddc101

03-25-2003, 03:35 PM

Oh UPC lady your words ring so true.That post blessed me and I hope there are those who are reading this that will not give up.
You ended your post with something that I personally say and it struck a chord in me....The Lord wants us to make it even more than we want to make it.lv sis.c

Blest

04-14-2003, 04:29 PM

It is interesting that there are so many more women living for Jesus alone than there are men. One sister told me that 's because God made women to know how to be submissive, so it's easier for us to come to the Lord.

Anyway, I'm one of them, too. 20 years and I am by faith claiming him to come to the Lord this year. There were 3 of us ladies in church whose husbands were not, and we prayed for them. The other 2 have now come in to church, so, mine's next!

It may be difficult for him, when it finally hits him, that his stubbornness kept him from watching his children and being there for them, in the Christmas programs, etc. He vowed to never set foot in our church.

But, praise God, he is a good man, for which I am thankful. God has been very good

:) and I thank Him for His blessings.

I AM -
Blest

Blest

04-14-2003, 04:29 PM

ddc and witness - did you get my email message? Sent on Saturday??

ddc101

04-14-2003, 11:26 PM

No Blest I did not.Send me a pm next time.I know my email works as I get all the others.lv sis.c

ddc101

04-24-2003, 09:20 AM

Is there anyone out there whose husband is a backslider or was one who finally got in church? Mine was and today he's a pastor.
In my flesh I was riled over it.It ate my lunch.I was not a SAINT
over this issue.It seemed to just get me OUT THERE.Where I did not want to be spiritually and emotionally.When I overcame this God did the work.I wonder who the trial was more beneficial for me or him.Certainly it made me a better person.lv sis.c

survivor4christ

05-02-2003, 08:14 PM

Sis. Cooper:

My ex husband is a backslider. He has not come back to God last I heard. When we remarried, he came to church with me a few times and seemed really repentant at the altar. But he remained unchanged. Was involved with the drug rehab ministry headquartered out of Metairie, LA. He seemed like he was trying, but was being held back. His own will got in the way. I admit that I probably did not handle somethings the right way. I have repented. But when I try to reconcile with him the last time b4 the divorce, he staunchly refused.

He was living with another woman who was pregnant the same time I was! That hurt. But I still wanted to try and make it work. But it takes two. So I filed for divorce, it wasn't an overnight or easy decision, but I came to the realization that he did not want the same thing I did. And do. He wants someone to enable him in his addictive tendencies and no one to hold him accountable.

But you do reap what you sow, the woman he was living with had the baby and it died in the hospital. I didn't even know all of this until he called me one day crying that he lost a son...and he wanted me to console and counsel his girlfriend!!! Can you believe that? I thought he had totally gone bonkers!

Over time it became really easy to sever the ties with him, seeing that he was not the healthiest person to be connected with. Sometimes I look at my kids and wonder, if I doomed them to something horrible by allowing their father to father them, if you know what I mean? I know that sounds horrible, but especially in light of the trials we have been through, I cannot neglect the fact that seeds of rebellion that were and are resident in their father are trying to carry over.

But the whole experience is teaching me a great deal about patience. And praying.

I know for a fact that we would never reconcile; God showed me he is a snake and would serve to only hinder us from growing closer to God. Even my daughter has nightmares about her father; he turns into a dragon and eats everyone, or turns into the devil and torments her and kills us. She hated her father for a long time just based upon those dreams. Just for that alone I would never reconcile. What would he impart to them?

Love, Sis. Wenona

ddc101

05-02-2003, 11:09 PM

Sister Wenona,
Drugs are a big draw.They are mind altering and people who hate their lives go for them easily to escape reality.Because reality is eating their lunch.Then the spirit of the thing...especially
crack...calls them in the night.I have a dear friend who was even
hospitalized with a bullet through her temple.She told me,"Sister
Cooper I still was wanting crack even then."She went through detox and then received the Holy Ghost.Jesus delivered her from it all.She and I worked together in Acts Counseling Ministry for a
while.We prayed though people who were upchucking in trash cans....I kid you not.Deliverance can come.The thing with your
husband is that he broke the marriage covenant so don't let
it bother you.Just keep on serving Jesus.If I were you I would just live for Jesus and pray for His will for my life.Sometimes people are happier serving the Lord alone.Believe me it would
be better to serve alone than serve miserable married out of
Gods will.lv sis.c

Marie

05-10-2003, 07:43 PM

Praise the Lord, Sisters

I hope you don't mind if I tell you a small part of my story.

I was a single Mom until 13 years ago when I married a man from a neighboring church. My son was 12 and my daughter 2. It didnt take me long to findout he was not the dedicated christian he claimed to be. He moved us from city to city at least once every year, promising that "this time" things would be better. I worked so hard at covering up how things were at home that few people knew he wasn't the perfect christian and husband. I knew I was living a lie and that I was no better than he was for hiding the truth. I just kept living for God and hoping that things would someday get better. Until a year ago, when I discovered that he had been sexually abusing my daughter for 4 yrs! Our lives have been turned upside down! The final court date was Jan this year. 1 year to the day after I found out. I am a single parent again and my daughter and I are trying to put our lives back together. We both love Jesus and want to live for Him. Please pray for us.

ddc101

05-11-2003, 02:35 AM

Sister Marie,
I am going to pray for you.You can count on that.What you are
going through should not happen to a family.God did not mean
for this to happen to you but satan hates your life and all children.
I hope your daughter is doing okay.Thank Jesus she has a mom
who believes her.So many women have gone through this shame alone and carried around such guilt over something that was
not their doing.
I want to bring out a few things that someone with a perverse
spirit carries that should be a thought point for everyone:
1.They usually want to date someone with children.
2.They are unstable in church and are usually the overly friendly
type that you would never suspect.
3.They do not keep gainful employment but go from one job to the
other.
4.Generally speaking they do not pay their bills.
5.This spirit and alcoholism walk hand in hand.
I want to say that all these may not apply to everyone carrying this spirit but it is very common in the place we reside.lv sis.c

survivor4christ

05-11-2003, 07:35 PM

Thanks for sharing, Sis. Marie...

Sis. Cooper, good looking out!

Love, Sis. Wenona

ddc101

05-11-2003, 09:41 PM

Amen Sis.Wenona,
You have had some experience with that spirit and can probably
name its tune in three notes can't you? sis.c

dllong

05-11-2003, 10:18 PM

Women are not the only ones that serve God alone. :(

Dave

dllong

05-11-2003, 10:19 PM

oh my gawd.................

I am in a womans forum!

HELP ME!

Get me out of here!

!!!!!!

I am so sorry, I wasn't being nosey...I swear!

I was sure I saw a urinal on the wall!!

I'm toast!

(ducking)

ddc101

05-11-2003, 11:07 PM

Bro.Dave,
You are more than welcome here.Please come and share.You seem the sensitive type.I would like to know what men go through who are in this special circumstance.
lv sis.c

foreverblessed

05-12-2003, 01:26 AM

LOL Dave, You are hysterical! :laugh:

Please do post, any man who cooks as much as you do..... we will make room for. :)

Make sure to bring dessert, we ladies (except for Ddc, who doesn't eat sugar) needs the sweets.

Marie

05-12-2003, 04:33 AM

:angel:
Sis Cooper
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. My daughter is doing well. God has given me a very special girl! She has drawn close to Jesus over the last year. She surprises me sometimes with her wisdom! (and sometimes puts me to shame:o ) I am so thankful that God finally gave her the courage to tell me last year. She is 14 (almost 15<---I have to say that you know. lol) and this started when she was 7 or 8.

You are so right about those common traits!
My husband is one of those people that everyone likes and would never suspect. (Even my family doesn't believe it) He is very unstable in church, has never held a steady job for more that one year (and complained the whole time), he is also very secretive, would complain if I asked for money for basic needs, never paid the bills (unless they were in his name, mostly they were in mine), addicted to drugs....All the classic traits that I wish I had known about years ago!!!

survivor4christ

05-12-2003, 08:26 AM

Amen, Sis. Cooper...

Sis. Marie:

It is wonderful that you are supporting your daughter through this, that you believe her.

You do not know (or want to know) what kinda damage that does to a child when, after they muster up enough courage to tell someone what is going on, to only have that trust crushed by unbelief, accusations and doubt.

That is almost as traumatic as the abuse itself. I know...

I was a pre-teen and my uncle molested me. When I went to my mom, she didn't believe me. When I went to my dad, he told me to go and pray and ask for forgiveness and to tell no one else!

Talk about crazy stuff, man?

I am 33 years old and I just getting to the place where I have let go of the sins of my father (and mother). For a long time I felt unprotected, and that everybody had dibs on my body. I had no right to say no. No one would listen anyway...

Rather sad story, but with a happy ending!

Cause I am born again, I can hold my head up and know I am more than a conqueror.

I applaud you, Sis., for being there for your daughter. :bow: Besides the love of God and the balm of Gilead, that is the best thing for your daughter. She will be fine...

And hey, Bro. Dave!

We wanna hear more from the man's point of view on singlehood. God bless you! There ain't many men out there who have your testimony! Single father, born again, RESPONSIBLE?!!!

Let's give a shout-out to Bro. Dave! HOOOOO!:redcool:

Much love,
Sis. Wenona

Marie

05-12-2003, 02:44 PM

Originally posted by survivor4christ

...And hey, Bro. Dave!

We wanna hear more from the man's point of view on singlehood. God bless you! There ain't many men out there who have your testimony! Single father, born again, RESPONSIBLE?!!!

Let's give a shout-out to Bro. Dave! HOOOOO!:redcool:

Much love,
Sis. Wenona [/B]

That is so true. There are very few "Single fathers, born again, RESPONSIBLE?!!!"

Thank you Sis. Wenona. I do know the damage that can be done to an idividual when no-one believes.

ddc101

05-12-2003, 11:39 PM

I can say that almost every woman I counsel has been molested by a close family member.It is almost hard to come across anyone who hasn't been.
I thank God that my daddy was pure in motives tword us.
It gave me a sense of security to know that when storms of
life knocked me down I could always go home.He kept the door
always open.When my life feel apart at 21 years old and I came
to Jesus.My mom and dad moved us in with them.
I have never had to worry for any of my needs to be met.I believe this has totally contributed to the faith I have today in
my heavenly father supplying all my needs.I am used to it.To me
a father provides,loves,shelters,corrects and encourages.That is
the kind of Dad I have.I had to realize that there is a great difference in a husband and a dad.Those shoes were too big
for Pastor Stephen to fill.Though i will say that he and my dad
have alot in common.And I wasn't even searching for anyone
remotely like my dad.lv sis.c

Marie

05-13-2003, 12:54 AM

It is so good to know that there are still great Dads out there!
You are so blessed to have had such a wonderful example of what a Dad should be. My Dad also had pure motives toward us. But he was a truck driver and we hardly ever saw him. It is sometimes hard not to see Jesus in the same way we see our own Dads. He is ALWAYS there for us!

ddc101

05-13-2003, 11:00 PM

Sister,
Now my dad is 83 and looks to me to help him with things etc.He almost died last year twice but the Lord spared him.I am so glad
that the Lord gave me to the parents I have had and that I was
born exactly where I was.I am also thankful to be an american.
When I have visited poverty striken places like Mexico and Haiti
and Puerto Rico it made me so glad to live in America.lv sis.c

Marrayjor

05-16-2003, 01:06 PM

Hi Everyone!
I have been so blessed reading this thread, I am new to the Cafe and i log in at work. I am a single mom of 3 ages 12, 9 & 2 and i related so much to Sis Wenona, God bless you sister, you are great! I was so touched to read your testimony, mine is almost the same, i too have been married to the same man twice, once while we were in the world and the 2nd time we were both in church. Well, after we divorced the first time after 7 years, i gave my life to the Lord and me and my daughters started serving him. My husband came back to us and gave his life to God, and asked me to marry him again, now that we had 'new' lives. Well I knew i should have waited, but I married him and after a year (i was 4 months pregnant) he backslid and left us for a younger girl. It has been over 2 years now, and all i can say is GOD IS GOOD! He has kept me from losing it ( when i found out he left, i locked myself in my room and was so close to giving up, it was so black, I just couldnt believe he could do this to us) But that still quiet voice told me "No" you cannot do that, I am here and I will never leave you, Nor forsake you. I do admit, it has been hard and I am still having my times raising my children alone, but God is so true to His word, He never fails, and I am soooo thankful to be living for Him! :bow:

foreverblessed

05-17-2003, 12:35 AM

MaRrAyJoR,

You are so right, God never fails, he never leaves us. It makes 9 months now that I have been raising my girls alone. It does get easier as the time goes by, but I know your struggle.

One time Ddc told me that God would be a husband/father to me, and my girls. At the time, that sounded odd to me and I didn't quite understand what she meant, but I have learned to lean upon him when I feel overwhelmed with everything that life has to put on my shoulders.
God has had his hand upon me and my girls. He takes good care of us. I believe that it grieves the Lord when he sees families split up, and women trying to raise children without the help of a Father. It isn't his plan that we live the way we do, but I trust him with all my heart that he will meet and fill that void in our lives.

God bless you, and I will be praying for you.

ddc101

05-17-2003, 10:23 PM

Sis.Lisa,
You have come so far by faith.What a new and different person you are morphing into.Only Jesus can do such a wonderful work.
Someone who has known me for eighteen years told me just today how I have received all the desires of my heart.She was so right.To come from such a horrible life circumstance to the Kingdom of Jesus Christ has been so wonderful.And then see the
change taking place in my family and others just blesses me so much.The greatest miricle I like to see is when someone is so
broken and downcast gets lifted up and strengthened by Jesus.
Like the three hebrew children in the firey furnace who did not
even smell of the smoke of their trial.God came though for them.
What a mighty God we serve...His name is Jesus....sis.c:angel:

Angel234112002

05-27-2003, 07:50 PM

Hi, everyone. I have read some of the threads on here, and the testimonies are amazing!
I'm a 24 yr old single mother of 2 little girls ages 7 & 3. I was filled with the Holy Ghost Sep 22,2001. There is only one other single mother in our church, whom is in her 40's and doesn't want to ever get married. All the other women that have children in church are married and mostly stay at home moms. I work full -time, I'm a mom full time, and I'm trying to start college...(can someone lend about 10 hands please...lol) It would take forever to tell about my ex-husband, so I won't. We are just better off without him. I do find that loneliness is a big battle for me. As someone said before though.......God steps in just as we think we can't do it anymore, and renews our strength to carry on. He is an On Time God ...Yes He Is!
I think the battle my children go through is what is the hardest. They struggle daily, especially my oldest. She doesn't understand how daddy can just pop up when he wants and then disappear for a month or maybe 6 and pop back up. Her father only lives 15 miles away...(you can understand why it hurts her that he doesn't show when he is suppose to) It hurts me to see her cry and so depressed. I don't know what else to do but pray for her and try to comfort her. We recently had a weekend alone just her and mommy to try to ease the issue, (Any thoughts on ways that might help, would be greatly appreciated.)
We are just praying that one day if its Gods will , God will send me a loving husband and my children a loving father. Any prayers are welcome...lol

Any advice anyone would like to give would be greatly appreciated. I thank God that I have found this website! It has definately given me some encouragement!
A friend of mine gave me a plaque last week for my birthday, It says:

Single Parents

Do twice the work and give twice the Love. May they gather strength from God Above!!

ddc101

05-27-2003, 11:10 PM

Hi Sister Trish,
I came to God as a single parent.My sons dad had very little to do with him most of his life.Now he understands that his dad could not reach out to him due to drugs and alchohol.I tried to encourage him to forgive him and he did when he matured.
I just did not focus on the negatives.Oh there were plenty but I ignored them.I had so much trouble with support and had to wrestle over it alot.My pastor told me to weigh the situation and decide if I wanted the most influence over him or the money.I chose the godly influence.Thank the Lord my son is someone to be proud of.I have a big picture of him and Mr.And Mrs.Bush when he worked at Camp David last year.He has a sweet wife and beautiful baby daughter.Mothers(sorry guys) have the greater influence.lv sis.c

Marie

05-28-2003, 01:25 AM

Hi Sis Trish, Welcome! It is always wonderful to find new friends.
You will always find someone here ready to pray with you! :) And lots of loving advise and wisdom. It is so wonderful to be able to have godly fellowship with our precious sisters every day! What a fabulous way to briighten your day! Haha You will also find some very interesting Bible discussions.:D Some of them will have you rolling on the floor with laughter and others will make you steam and then there are the ones that cause a question mark to hang over your head. :confused: lol But you will find yourself digging into the Word of God! As I said in a past post, I have never enjoyed studying the Bible more than I have since I came here!
I was telling my Pastor the other day about how these discussions cause you to dig into the Bible and my daughter laughed and said, "Ya, now every time I want to use the computer there is a Bible and who knows what all books in the way." Haha (she was joking, BTW) Now she has discovered the Apostolic Youth board and it is so wonderful to hear her saying "WHAT! Mom where is your Bible? (mine has a concordence) or "Isn't there a scripture that says...?" or Where is the scripture that says...?" or "how do you use these books?" meaning the Greek/Hebrew dictionaries, etc. :) :) It is music to my ears! hehe now we are always asking each other " how long are you going to be?"hehe:) :) I love it!!
And I am also:nt:
Love to you all!

Angel234112002

05-28-2003, 08:10 AM

Thank you Sister Cooper hearing that does help. I know my daughter will see in due time...actually I think she realizes alot now and thats why it hurts her so much. Support isn't an issue , because I don't get any. I just don't have the heart to tell her she can't go when I know how badly she wants to see her dad. I just wish he could really see what he is doing to them.(emotionally) I know God will get us through it and everything will be fine...just get a little discouraged sometimes. I know God will take care of us....He's brought us thus far. (Thank You Jesus!) I plan to let him take us straight through the pearly gates!!!

Marie,
Thank you for the warm and loving welcome. I agree, I seem to dig a little deeper too...lol

Marie

05-28-2003, 12:00 PM

:tup: Way to go Sister Trish! Keep on holding to His hand!

Marrayjor

05-28-2003, 12:13 PM

My oldest daughter which is 12 was really hurt about her dad leaving, but i think that not talking bad about him and letting him show what type of person he is by his actions, and not me saying negative things about him has helped her see that it was not her fault that he left, that he needs help and most of all he needs the Lord. We do pray for him and that he will come back to God, his life right now is really going downhill, but we are going on, and God has been so good to us, I just hope to be an example for my daughters that no matter what you go through you can "Always" trust in God to see you through. I do admit it is hard and there is lonliness, but how awful that would be if i didnt have the Lord. It does hurt to see my daughters and son grow up without a dad, that strongman in our house, but it is better than having to deal with the negative, abuse that we would have to go through. God knows what we need, and he has always provided for us. i do pray for a godly man/husband/father for me and my children, but I am waiting upon the Lord to provide that, i dont want to go ahead of Him.
God bless sis!

ddc101

05-28-2003, 11:11 PM

Sister God will be a father to your children.He always came through for me and he will never let you down or abuse you or disappoint you.lv sis.c

Heavenbound238

05-31-2003, 09:52 PM

Hello Everyone,
Today I was chatting with a sister who give me the link to this site ; she said she thought I'd enjoy it. Was she right!
I'am single mom of 2. I have been in church about 4 yrs ;I wasn't raised in the truth. No one out of parents are brothers are saved. I got married right out of high school 'which was a mistake. I had 2boys. After I had my 2nd son we divorced. 2 yrs later I got remarried ,and last year my husband left and we seperate and divorced in March of this year.
There isn't any single parents in our church ,but I'am blessed with a great church family. My mother isn't in church ,but God sent a great sister along for me to have someone to talk too. Sometimes at church fellowship I fell out of place b/c everyone else is married. I feel loney at times. God is always there and takes care of our needs. I'am learning to let God fill that voide in my life. If there is any typo's or misspell words I'am blaming on I 'am from kentucky LOL:yeah:

ddc101

06-02-2003, 06:33 PM

Hi Sister Leslie,
I know how it feels to be the only single parent in church.
After I got saved I moved back with my parents and started going to a small church.I was the only single mother or otherwise.Everyone else was married.But I did not let it move me
as I began to go to singles conferences and realize that I was in
a good position to serve God full time.And also very grateful that my son could be raised in truth.lv sis.c

ddc101

01-05-2004, 12:06 AM

In going back over the threads in the Ladies area I noticed how good this one was.lv sis.c

Christian Woman

01-06-2004, 12:10 AM

This is a very heart warming and touching thread, I'm glad you brought it to the front as I had overlooked it before. Wonderful testimonies here.....

survivor4christ

01-06-2004, 08:09 AM

You are right, Sister...

This is a very good thread...

I find I have been battling that spirit lately. But that devil is a liar! God promised He would never, EVER, leave me or forsake me.

I find when the devil comes with discouragement or loneliness that victory is soon to be manifested in this realm. So I am excited about what God is about to show to the enemy!

Hallelujah!

I thank God for He always causeth me to triumph! ALWAYS!

Love,
Sis. Wenona

dllong

01-06-2004, 05:41 PM

I know I am not supposed to post here so I will be brief. (grin)

There are men, like myself that serve G_D alone too and have children(teenagers). It has been a hard road to walk but I have found it rewarding.

Bless His wonderful Name!

Bro. Long

ddc101

01-06-2004, 11:32 PM

Bro.Long,
The men are as welcome to post here as the ladies.I admire that you are serving the Lord and raising children with the help of the Lord.I also admire all of you who are not letting it hinder you.Lord bless you all.lv sis.c

Seventyx7

01-10-2004, 05:56 PM

I am glad to hear from men that are serving God alone also, for it's not just a female thing. We're behind you with our prayers as we covet yours. We are all in this together. I know that it's hard to be alone b/c I've done it for almost 24yrs. with an unsaved spouse. I have raised 3 children and all but one today serve the Lord and prodigal is our only son:cry: I have had a very good husband who has only encouraged me to live for God even if he doesn't. He has never ask me to do or go anywhere that I shouldn't. I've told him many times if he ever prayed he'd better pray I stay living for God b/c if I didn't serve the Lord he wouldn't be able to stand me:laugh: My prayers are being answered I know. I see and hear little things that keep me encouraged about him. I can't wait for the day to come when he decides to serve Him. How much better and fuller our marriage will be. I can only imagine and dream of that closeness and unity when you both live, believe the same and work for the Lord as a team. I long for the day when we will be able to pray together, share the word together and for him to know how to lift me up when I'm down. Oh, what a day that will be. I've waited sooooo long. As long as there is breath there is hope and I will keep praying and believing for that day to come and hopefully soon. We have been married for over 28yrs.

lellingsworth

01-10-2004, 10:14 PM

70x7-
You will win him by your actions, acceptance, and love. Mine has told me to keep living for God, cuz he needed me to. Whatever that means. Some people think that it is just an excuse. But to me, it means HOPE. (I keep thinking about buying 2 acres of just plain grass and a rotary lawn mower.) The wierd thing is that he ministers to me and I just have to figure out if it is his GOD SIDE or not his GOD SIDE. We ALL get called home by the way of conviction or sickness. We just have to decide if we are going to listen or ignore the tugging. What a party I am going to have when mine comes back! I am going to shut the place down! :)

ddc101

01-11-2004, 11:16 PM

Sister Lani,
I want pictures posted here when kevin receives the HG.
Sister 70x7 I want a complete run down when yours does.lv sis.c

lellingsworth

01-12-2004, 03:40 PM

Okay, Deal.

I just can't give up on a little apostolic boy with big brown eyes whose first words were, Mama, Dada, and One God.

ddc101

01-12-2004, 04:58 PM

That sister Lani is wonderful news.lv sis.c

lellingsworth

01-12-2004, 09:15 PM

which part? :)

ddc101

01-12-2004, 10:38 PM

The part that says you are holding onto faith.lv sis.c

lellingsworth

01-12-2004, 10:43 PM

Well, truly, if his first words were Mama, Dada, One God, God's still gotta be in there somewhere, right? ;)

ddc101

01-12-2004, 10:47 PM

We have to hold to the scripture that says that if we train them up in the way they should go that they will return to it.Also the word of the Lord concerning the prodical son.I feel impressed to ask you sister if you have ever come across a book by Beth Moore called Praying the word to break down spiritual strongholds? I did that for my husband and when he came back to church I prayed these scriptures with him.In fact he was so physically sick when he came back to church I prayed for restoration.lv sis.c

lellingsworth

01-12-2004, 11:26 PM

No, but maybe I will go find it. I'm going to send you a PM.

ddc101

01-13-2004, 09:38 AM

I know some of you are hurting because even though you are married you serve the Lord alone.Could some of you share how you cope while waiting for the miricle.I have always heard it preached that the hardest time is between the promise and the answer.lv sis.c

ddc101

02-10-2004, 11:57 PM

We cannot let this thread in particular die.If some of you desire we can take a day a week and target someones unsaved husband.We can make a list and fast for one a week and then go back over the list again until we cover them several times with prayer.I want to see these men serving the Lord and you ladies loosed in the Holy Ghost to serve until your hearts are content.lv sis.c

pm me the names and I will make a list and post it and then one day a week we can all fast and pray together for that particular couple.In fact we will make a list of things that we pray for in particular and all pray the same list.We can focus this big gun Jesus gave us in the Holy Ghost and take back what the enemy has stolen.I want all the spoils.lv sis.c

itsajagain

02-11-2004, 10:01 AM

We cannot let this thread in particular die.
Thank you that you haven't let it die. Tonight I needed to hear/read these posts. In sharing what is on my heart I ask you forgive me if I have a gazillion typos it is after 1.30am, I couldnt stop reading.

I am a single mother of 3, girl almost 9, boy almost 12 and boy almost 14. My marriage has been a mess for years, it collapsed completely March 2002. I met Jesus was filled with the Holy Ghost April 5th, and baptised in Jesus name on the 16th. My children thought it was neat, yet didnt understand. My husband didnt want to. My church was 3.5 hours away, thus the support was very limited and about each 6 or so weeks I would get to talk with others from there. Rarely over the 14 months in that church did I get to service. Sometimes we went as a so called family. I tried, for a long time and still I couldnt get it to work.

November 2002 we seperated, December he moved out. From May till December I have been without a church, without fellowship, without support. Yet it has been people on yahoo and paltalk, sharing and praying with them that have helped me through. My children are mad at me for continuing to walk with God, their dad is the same, and encouraging their rebellion. I thought about giving up, and even searched out finding a truth other than the Glorious truth of Jesus, repentence and Jesus name baptism, living a holy and righteous life. I thought it would make it easier. There is no other way, strength, peace, comfort, rest, assurance than Jesus.

I pray you hear that I am nothing special, nor looking to say anything more than God is God. He makes and has made a way for us all. I want to encourage you all, maybe even beg a little. If you have fellowship, dont walk away. I cry so often and hunger so much to know one person to talk Jesus with, that understands. If it isnt all it is cracked up to be, pray and fast, God can open doors. If you stand in a church and disapprove of a single mother and how things are and what you see, go to her and encourage and support and share. In your love, support, teaching, encouragement, she may find the strength to make it. And pray. Ladies hold on to all you have in Jesus with all you got. The road I walk and have walked, in a town that knows not the Lord in Spirit and Truth, is one i would wish on noone.

God weekly gives me the strength to press on, and He is no respector of persons. Daily he holds me, He has hugs for us all at all times. Each hour he lifts me, His strength is there for all and limitless. Each minute He encourages me, His word shall endure forever. Each second He leads me, He is the Way, Truth and Life. Each breath He fills me, His Spirit is the air we all breathe. Be encouraged.

I now have a church, with beautiful sisters, for the first time I feel a depth of peace and love I didnt know could exist. I feel I could belong. I visited there the week before christmas. I know God has made the way for me to get back there. It is just down the road. A path long, tiring at times, yet so rewarding. See my church is 6 hours away, cherish what you have. Sorry I didnt mean to talk so much. Don't give up. Please Keep on walking with Jesus, regardless of where your at.

Be Blessed

AJ

UPC Lady

02-11-2004, 11:47 AM

I've walked with God alone for 26 yrs now. Although my husband believes this beautiful truth and loves it as well he has never lived it. There was a time when he went to church but he never received the Holy Ghost so he quit going. I know that one day he will receive the Holy Ghost and will be living for God! I praise the Lord often for giving him the Holy Ghost. I've asked and according to the Word anything we ask in His name with faith believing it shall be done so now I praise the Lord as if my husband has already received the Holy Ghost! After all praise starts the divine operation of God! Sis. AJ your post touched my heart and I know it touches the heart of God and because you are His child He is going to make a way for you to attend church. Just keep on loving Him, keep fellowshipping on-line with sisters in the Lord and hold onto the faith that is evident that you have! We here in America are so blessed to live close to the churches we attend and I'm afraid that is taken for granted. I know of many who could go to God's house every time the doors are open but they choose not to. You on the other hand are longing for that which we have in America. The Lord knows exactly where you are and He is going to answer your prayer! Lord bless all of you ladies who serve God alone! One day our husbands will be living for God and I am believing that is going to be soon! SeventyX7 I am rejoicing with you concerning what the Lord did for your husband! He truly is a prayer answering God!

sister BB

02-11-2004, 12:24 PM

I just want to encourage all of you not to give up. I know alot of you have went for many years without your husband in church. I didn't go but about 3 years without my husband in. There was times that it was really hard during those 3 years, but God always gave me strength to keep going. Me and my husband had many problems before I got in church. We almost divorced several times. But we didn't, and I thank the Lord for that. I was raised in a Apostolic church, but by the time I was about 11 years old, my family had quit going to church. I got into a lot of trouble and I hung with the wrong crowds. Anyway, I became pregnat at the age of 14 years old. I got married when I turned 15 to my husband. It wasn't easy. As I said before we had many problems, but during these years the Lord dealt with me and was drawing me back to church. In 1995, I surrendered my life to the Lord, I was baptized in the name of Jesus and I was filled with the Holy Ghost a couple of months later. I couldn't take it anymore living without the Lord. Anyway, my husband didn't want anything to do with it. But he didn't keep my from going. My husband wasn't raised in church. He grew up drinking and doing drugs. But he quit doing alot of that when we got married. My husband finally did start coming to church with me about 3 years after I had started going. And the Lord filled him with the Holy Ghost. I got up the next morning , and it was totally different. God truly changed my husband. The Lord healed our broken marriage. He made a true family out of us. We didn't know what love really was until we both were in church living for God. God may not have done it in my time. But he done it on his time. And hes a on time God. Me and my husband have been married for 16 years now, and we have 3 children, our oldest is 16, then 13, and 7 years old. And all of them has been filled with the Holy Ghost. My husband is also a Sunday School teacher now. God can take a nothing and make a something out of it. God has been so good to my family.
Anyway, I just wanted all of you to know , that your not alone, many of us have been through similar situations with our husbands. And the Lord sees everyone of your tears and he knows the trials that you go through. And the good thing is ,hes right there with you. He will give you strength to keep going. Just keep having FAITH, and keep PRAYING. God will do it. I have Faith that your miracle is on its way!!!!!! May God Bless all of you.

ddc101

02-11-2004, 11:20 PM

Sister BB,
I can testify to the saving power of Jesus Christ.I was married at seventeen years old.I did not know the first thing about marriage.By the time I was nineteen I had my son.His dad love motorcycles and drugs.They became his God.We were catholic.Even though the marriage broke up I did not give up on God.I began to search and be the best catholic I knew how.I had a son to raise and no help from his dad.I moved in with my parents.My life sadly did not turn down the road to Jesus just then.It went down the tubes.While working at a club I met a man who was a backslider.In deep discussion I told him I desired to be a REAL christian.All I had ever know were fakes.He brought me to a couples home.They witnessed to me.He went to prison.I went to church.I got baptised in Jesus Name and it was an hour and a half drive one way to church.There was no church where I was from.Later while holding to the teaching of the church and my spiritual parents I received the Holy Ghost while playing the guitar and worshipping in my parents living room at 2 am.What a blessing to be able to give my son the life he so deserved.
I don't usually tell this because that person I was before does not exist.And hey I wasn't brought up in a bad enviroment.I graduated from a private school,took dance lessons for around ten years,guitar lesson,piano lessons,was in every kind of club you can think of.Head cheerleader in highschool.Vice president of my senior class etc.It doesn't matter your background you can sink lower than low without Jesus.
I met my husband at a UPC singles conference.When I was being abused I remember not even knowing the bible praying a scripture I found.I said Lord In want my husband to love me like Christ loved the church.
When Brother Cooper proposed to me he quoted those scriptures.
God hears your cries from afar and they touch the very heart of God.
I am going to post following this one because I want someone to be encouraged today.lv sis.c

ddc101

02-11-2004, 11:33 PM

pt.2
Even though I married a pentecostal guy who was God called it did not mean
that everything would be smooth from then on.About a year after we married my husband backslid for a long time.He was mean and very abusive in that he withheld any affection from me.Not one kind word.He says he was meaner than a junkyard dog.I love to hear him tell the story.If I can convince him I would love for you all to hear his side.Its awesome and I about cry when I hear him heap kind words on me in service.He has said so many good things about me to his adult sunday school class.
Anyway he was running from the call of God.And I refused to give up.He even said that he wanted me to hate him and divorce him.I refused.A vow is a vow is a vow.When I was seventeen and abused I may not have known what a vow was but this time I had the Holy Ghost and well understood when I said I do it was for ever.
Sister Seventyx7 can confirm how hateful my husband was and the awesome difference in him.She and I were best friends when I went through the last of it.It lasted about twelve years sisters.Now he is an awesome man of God.He pastors a church and I am so proud of him.But the road was not golden it was paved with thorns.I right now thank the Lord for somewhere along that road of thorns I changed as well and the immature manner in which I reacted has faded.My mouth is much nicer to live with and I love being married.In fact tonight I bought him a card that says how glad I am for the life that we share together.
To the one sister who is about to give up I say hold on sis. don't give up.Who is to know that just around the next bend is not the landing where your promise is parked.Hang in there just a tad bit more.Trust Jesus.He put you with that man for a reason.
To those for whom it did not work and you were rejected and traded for something or someone else I say that there is hope for you.I was traded for friends,drugs,motorcycles etc. My son was discarded like he did not exist.I know what its like to have an empty refrigerator and cry myself to sleep.I know what its like to go home alone while everyone else goes home to someone who cares.One day sister your day will come.Until then remember your husband is Jesus Christ and no man can live up to that man.He is the best.Here is your promise:

Isa 54:5 For thy Maker [is] thine husband; the LORD of hosts [is] his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Isa 54:6 For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

Isa 54:7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

Isa 54:8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.

Isa 54:9 For this [is as] the waters of Noah unto me: for [as] I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.

Isa 54:10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

Isa 54:11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, [and] not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

Isa 54:12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

Isa 54:13 And all thy children [shall be] taught of the LORD; and great [shall be] the peace of thy children.

Isa 54:14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

Isa 54:15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, [but] not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

Isa 54:16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

Isa 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue [that] shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This [is] the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness [is] of me, saith the LORD.

Someone is reading this and crying their eyes out.To that person I say hold on Jesus can and will do it.He loves you more than you love yourself.And he wants you to know that if you will give him your future he will make it bright.lv sis.c

Melody

02-12-2004, 03:08 AM

itsajagain

02-12-2004, 06:14 AM

Here is your promise:

Isa 54:5 For thy Maker [is] thine husband; the LORD of hosts [is] his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Isa 54:6 For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

Isa 54:7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

Isa 54:8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.

Isa 54:9 For this [is as] the waters of Noah unto me: for [as] I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.

Isa 54:10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

Isa 54:11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, [and] not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

Isa 54:12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

Isa 54:13 And all thy children [shall be] taught of the LORD; and great [shall be] the peace of thy children.

Isa 54:14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

Isa 54:15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, [but] not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

Isa 54:16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

Isa 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue [that] shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This [is] the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness [is] of me, saith the LORD.

Someone is reading this and crying their eyes out.To that person I say hold on Jesus can and will do it.He loves you more than you love yourself.And he wants you to know that if you will give him your future he will make it bright.lv sis.c
Humbly Sister thank you.....

Be Blessed

AJ

Melody

02-12-2004, 04:53 PM

Humbly Sister thank you.....

Be Blessed

AJ
Does anyone besides me have a particularly hard time with this time of year?

My wedding anniversary was February 3 and Valentine's day is Saturday and I am fighting having a pity party for myself.

Lady Curate

02-12-2004, 06:07 PM

Not anymore. The first time I went through this was when everyone at work was getting flowers and, etc. Just about the time I started to sink into the pity party pit, the Lord reminded me that He was my Rose of Sharon and my Lily of the Valley. He also reminded me that no one ever cared for me like He did. That was over 20 years ago and today, Valentines Day, Sweetest Day, no day affects me that way anymore.

lellingsworth

02-12-2004, 08:36 PM

I hear ya' Sister Girlfriend and we'll have a party. My love of my life is 1954.7 miles away from me and I haven't seen him since January 2nd.

ddc101

02-13-2004, 12:19 AM

To all of you who are serving God alone this week I want to say that you are the reason he made roses in the first place.It is no coincidence that when people want to express love they go and pick them or buy them flowers.Jesus grew those just for us whom he loves.What other use are they? Some people eat them I am told but honestly there are enough things to eat without eating flowers.I say Jesus made them for us....his handmaidens....whom he looks down and sees carved on the palms of his hands.....hence the name Handmaiden...lv sis.c

ddc101

03-28-2005, 10:45 AM

Amen ladies are there some out there going through this that might want to share your joys and struggles? lv sis.c

soughtoutbyhim

03-29-2005, 05:42 PM

I have been for almost 7 yrs. now. God has been faithful. He has used my husband to sharpen me and get me serious about my walk with God.

In my darkest time I prayed like Job, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."

If my husband never serves God, I MUST serve God. He is my rock.

Even though my husband is not serving God right now, he has worked incredible changes in him. He has been sober for almost 3 yrs. now. We have more of a friendship now than ever.

God has kept me through thick and thin. I'm so grateful for that.

I do feel lonely sometimes b/c I can't share this incredible part of my life with my husband. At church, I don't get invited to people's homes, out to eat, etc....It's not that people intentionally leave me out, but it's not the same as fellowshiping with other couples.

I sometimes feel sorry for myself that I can't sing and play music like I desire, b/c I don't have anyone to help me with the kids, but I'm trying to leave that in God's hands. My greatest calling right now is to love my husband and raise my children right.

My husband would be devestated if I quit church. He would lose all respect for me. Sometimes the burden is overwhelming on my own, but God has helped me when I thought I couldn't go any further. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother(or husband)!
One thing that helped me is to realize that I can't treat my husband good in order to "whoo" him. I have to get my reward from God. I treat him right b/c it's what God wants. Sometimes women do not get rewarded in this life for being faithful, but rest assured that GOD WILL REWARD YOU! Draw close to the One who loves you, and He will draw nigh unto you.

ddc101

03-29-2005, 06:12 PM

Wow Sister you have a very admirable walk with the Lord.I hope that one of those who are struggling read this and rejoice.lv sis.c

Sherri L

03-29-2005, 09:49 PM

I have been serving God alone now for 3 years as of next month. We were married 7 1/2 years.
My ex-husband and I were thinking of remarriage and I had asked for prayer about it awhile ago. This Easter Sunday he came to church and during the service he laughed at those who were in the Spirit and when he was done with that he took a book of "The Adventures of Sherlock Homes" and began to read that. After service I asked how he felt about the service (the Spirit of the Lord was so strong) and he said he had no desire to ever serve the Lord but he would not hinder me. Than he started informing me how I was going to move my house and where he wanted to move it too.
The thing that really worries me was that the whole 7 years of our marriage he was a Apostolic preacher who was so on fire for God. He prayed like I had never heard anyone pray with his face to the ground and fast more than I ever did. He knew the Bible better than I could hope to know it. He still would marry me tomorrow if I agreed but I feel that he would hinder my realtionship with God. He became abusive at the ending of our marriage verbally and he would leave brusies on my upper arms all the time. Not once did I ever let on to anyone that he wasn't the perfect husband that he appeared to be. But I know that God had his hands of protection on me and kept me from ever getting seriously hurt. My oldest daughter who is 7 would never even go near any man including her grandpa or uncles because of all the yelling her Daddy did. Her male match teacher told me it took her 5 months to say hello to him. But now today, almost 3 years later she is a very happy child who loves the Lord with all her heart and loves the special men in her life.
I am asking for everyone's prayers. It's as if I can never tell him to go away. It seems he has a control over me and I can't break it. I tell him that Light can not walk with the dark and we should never date and he always seems to turn it around.
If he wanted to serve God I would remarry him even if it moving away. But he sat in church Sunday and laughed at God's people. He is so twisted in his thinking now, he no longer even believes that the Bible is the word of God. He doesn't really believe in God anymore. I do not see how I could ever subject my two precious daugthers whom I want to make it to heaven to a life of living with him. If it means walking alone for the rest of my life, being a single Mom and having my two daughters be saved I will do it and one day it will be worth it all.
Please remember me in your prayers.
Sherri

ddc101

03-29-2005, 11:45 PM

Oh Sister I would pray very much before being in the same household for the sake of the children.Go to your pastor and ask to talk.Also find a good biblical centered counselor.You need to be able to withstand the enemy of your soul.Your husband is uncomfortable in church and has that book for a reason.He does not want to preach anymore.He has thrown in the towel.
Don't let him fool you into believing he doesn't believe the word anymore.
He knows the word and he knows he is headed for hell.
Don't mince words with him.Set him straight.
Start loving yourself and those children.
You deserve the best daughter of the Most High God.
Jesus does not abuse his bride and neither does he want anyone else to.
I would be afraid if I was any man hitting on a Holy Ghost filled woman.
That is Gods child and he don't beat with a belt.
People have been known to drop dead for doing such things.
That thing inside of Mary was a Holy thing.
And that Holy thing the Holy Ghost resides in you.
Take care of yourself and the girls.
If he wants to reconcile I would suggest he submit to counsel with you and the pastor and also a licensed professional bible based counselor.
He has some very deep issues that have nothing to do with you
personally.
But he could kill you if you were alone with him.Where does the violence stop?
Some say "Oh God would never allow that."
I know of a beautiful Holy Ghost filled woman who slept in the river after being tossed from the trunk of a car wrapped in plastic garbage bags weighted down with bricks.She was eight months pregnant.
Her backslidden husband was on drugs and having an affair.
He asked her to come over and talk about reconciliation.
Then he drugged her drink.
When she slept he strangled her and thus dumped her body.
He went to jail and she and the baby were buried in the same
coffin.
Be careful when you are dealing with an abusive man.
lv sis.c

Michlow

03-30-2005, 11:32 AM

I have debated about posting on this thread. Started to a couple of times but had second thoughts. The thread caught my attention again today so I thought I would try again.

I no the Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun, but my situation is anything but common.

A lot of you probably know a little about it, but I will do my best to try and portray the whole picture.

I am 30 years old, my husband is 31. We just celebrated our 6 wedding anniversary, but we have been together for 8 years.

My husband has a type of autism called Asperger's syndrome, which makes it difficult for him to relate to people, to communicate acceptably and also difficulty in finding and keeping a job.

It is hard to classify him as either a believer or an unbeliever. He goes to church a couple of sunday's a month. He raises his hands during worship. But at the same time, he does not have the Holy Ghost, he has no relationship with God, he feels nothing during worship, doesn't read the word, doesn't pray unless he really needs something.

He just doesn't care about Jesus or spiritual things. But he is not hostile to them either. It's like he is apathetic. Which I think is worse then outright hostility.

Because of his AS, the intimacy that is normal in marriage, is nearly impossible. It's like he is not able to have that, not with a person, not with God. His AS also causes him to be very focused on only a few areas of interest. Right now, this intense interest is on his computer game. He is mostly unwilling to do anything else, other than what absolutely needs to be done (such as sleep and eating and the job search).

Because his interests are so limited and narrow. We have absolutely nothing in common. We have sat down and tried to come up with something we could do together, and have repeatedly come up blank. He is just not interested in anything else.

So, I am alone spiritually because my husband does not share my faith. But I am also alone in my marriage, because he is either unwilling or unable to connect with me.

So my situation is different from those who have unsaved husbands that they otherwise have a good relationship with, and it is also different from those who are single, in that I have all the responsibilities of marriage, with none of the benefits. And it is also different from those who are single, in that they are able at least to hope and pray that the Lord will send them a partner.

As a Christian it is a completely hopeless situation. All I can do is pray for the strength to not wither away under the loneliness or to fall under the tremendous burden.

Unfortunately, most of those that I have talked to looking for hope have only increased the burden. From being told "too bad, nobody put a gun to your head and made you marry him" (which is unfair as I was young and not a Christian when I did, so how could I be expected to know better?), or that I needed to remember why I feel in love with him in the first place (which is impossible as I married him for reasons other than love) or that I just needed to accept my situation and deal with it because it is never going to be any different (which is maybe true, but certainly not encouraging).

Those were all offered by well meaning people in church leadership and all it accomplished was me thinking that maybe it is just better to suffer in silence. Which is why I was reluctant to post on this thread. But in the end I figured that enough people here know some details of my life, what would it hurt to spell it out?

ddc101

03-30-2005, 08:59 PM

Sister I would just like to give you a hug and say that I do feel your
burden within your words.It has to be heartbreaking because
he is unable to due to his problem.
I am not going to say that it is hopeless because in Jesus Christ
nothing is hopeless.He can deliver your husband and give you
everything you desire.Not only can he do this but this is what the
bible says:

Eph 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

That same power that the Apostle Paul knew dwells in us.
The Lord is able to comfort you in every way.

Psa 34:17 [The righteous] cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

Psa 34:18 The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psa 34:19 Many [are] the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.

Psa 34:20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.

Psa 34:21 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.

Psa 34:22 The LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.
lv sis.Cooper

sushi607

03-31-2005, 07:38 AM

My husband has a type of autism called Asperger's syndrome, which makes it difficult for him to relate to people, to communicate acceptably and also difficulty in finding and keeping a job.

Because of his AS, the intimacy that is normal in marriage, is nearly impossible. It's like he is not able to have that, not with a person, not with God. His AS also causes him to be very focused on only a few areas of interest. Right now, this intense interest is on his computer game. He is mostly unwilling to do anything else, other than what absolutely needs to be done (such as sleep and eating and the job search).

Because his interests are so limited and narrow. We have absolutely nothing in common. We have sat down and tried to come up with something we could do together, and have repeatedly come up blank. He is just not interested in anything else.

Sister, I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband is mentally ill too, he suffers from depression, anxiety, nervousness and everything else that comes with the depression. Because of his medication he is not very emotional as far as love goes. When he has his good days, he is almost normal and I enjoy these days to the fullest. But when he has a bad spell of depression all he does is lay on the couch or play computer all day and is hard to communicate with. I often ask if he doesn't get bored just laying on the couch, doing nothing, cause I always need something to do, even if it is crafts. But I do know how lonely you feel when there is no response to the love you give and it strains you. You have to be the one that needs to be the energy giver, you have to be the one that needs to be the bread-winner and bread-baker all in one. Most of all, you are the one that keeps giving love and you feel like there is none coming back. It saps so much strength out of you. I can understand that. However, I know that my husband loves me and yours loves you too. What they keep telling me, psychiatrist, psychologist and my support group, is that you have to learn to live a life of your own as well. For example.... when my husband is very depressed and I can't take it anymore, I call my mom and we go shopping. This summer her and I go to London together, and then there is church. Get involved there... it helps tremendously. Live with your husband and love him, as I do mine, but also learn that it is his illness and you cannot change it, you can support him, but nevertheless the illness is his. The worst thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to allow his illness to make you sick, mentally and physically. Find things to do that you enjoy and that will give you your energy back and help you over the loneliness that you feel.

BTW, we won a huge victory last weekend at the national conference (see my other post). He was able to go to all the services, although it was tremendously hard on him and there were several times he thought he wouldn't be able to make it. I thank God for that miracle.

My prayers are with you
Sis. Doris

Michlow

03-31-2005, 11:04 AM

Sister, I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband is mentally ill too, he suffers from depression, anxiety, nervousness and everything else that comes with the depression. Because of his medication he is not very emotional as far as love goes. When he has his good days, he is almost normal and I enjoy these days to the fullest. But when he has a bad spell of depression all he does is lay on the couch or play computer all day and is hard to communicate with. I often ask if he doesn't get bored just laying on the couch, doing nothing, cause I always need something to do, even if it is crafts. But I do know how lonely you feel when there is no response to the love you give and it strains you. You have to be the one that needs to be the energy giver, you have to be the one that needs to be the bread-winner and bread-baker all in one. Most of all, you are the one that keeps giving love and you feel like there is none coming back. It saps so much strength out of you. I can understand that. However, I know that my husband loves me and yours loves you too. What they keep telling me, psychiatrist, psychologist and my support group, is that you have to learn to live a life of your own as well. For example.... when my husband is very depressed and I can't take it anymore, I call my mom and we go shopping. This summer her and I go to London together, and then there is church. Get involved there... it helps tremendously. Live with your husband and love him, as I do mine, but also learn that it is his illness and you cannot change it, you can support him, but nevertheless the illness is his. The worst thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to allow his illness to make you sick, mentally and physically. Find things to do that you enjoy and that will give you your energy back and help you over the loneliness that you feel.

BTW, we won a huge victory last weekend at the national conference (see my other post). He was able to go to all the services, although it was tremendously hard on him and there were several times he thought he wouldn't be able to make it. I thank God for that miracle.

My prayers are with you
Sis. Doris

Thank you Sis. Doris, In refrence to the part bolded above; I had learned to do this early in our relationship and things were not nearly as stressful. However, a little over a year ago we moved 800 miles from everything I had ever known. I left my friends and family and a job I loved behind.

I have no family here, I have in-laws but that there is not a good relationship there. My church is quite a bit aways and is a home missions church, though it has grown quite a bit, most people travel some distance and fellowship is nearly impossible. My church involvement is hampered by certain issues, and I work for a small family owned company, where there is a distinct separtation between them and me. Add to that our extreme financial difficulties due to my husbands lack of employment, and well, we are lucky if we can scrape gas money together to get to church and back, let alone for me to go anywhere else.

Unfortunately in my husbands case, there really is no such thing as good days or bad days. He is situation is unchanging, and though there is little that can be done. Once again because of finances, seeking treatment is out of the question and the closest support group is hours away.

I'm not telling you this to be whining, just to explain why sometimes it seems so bleak. The only thing that I can hold on to, is that somehow, someway, God has a reason for this.

sushi607

04-01-2005, 03:54 AM

Sister, I'm sorry to hear that it is not so easy for you ... I suppose that situation does make it harder on you. Do you have anything in your town that you could volunteer some time or where you would like to get involved in? I know it is easy for me to talk, cause I have my church and everything I need here and am very involved in that, but maybe you like to sing and there may be a choir in your town that you could sing in, or whatever. Or you start something on your own. Maybe if you talk to the mental health clinic, to the doctor or to the hospital. You know, my husband, when in the States received treatment through the mental health clinic there, which didn't cost him anything. Maybe you can check and see if there is something like that available for your husband too, so he can receive treatment. Don't give up .... I fought 4 years to get my husband into treatment and on to disability (have you tried that, you may even have to hire a pro-bono lawyer who specalizes in disibility cases - they take a percentage of the disability backpay, when he wins, it doesn't cost you anything before hand), which ultimately brought him medicare and medicaid. I have also fought and prayed for 4 years for the Lord to bring him home to Germany.... and that is where he now is, with me.....

My advice to you is.... start fighting... get information of the internet, see if you can get disability for your husband and mental health care. Ask at the local clinic... also there is a good website http://www.nami.org/ which maybe you can write them for possibilities on how to get treatment for your husband and while you are at it, ask for support groups close to you. :)

I know your husband only has bad days, and when my husband was in the States, the bad days far outnumbered the good days, to the point where he didn't even wanted to talk to me on the phone when I called him or online, when I saw him (I'm not even going to start on how it was BEFORE he got treatment).... but if you start fighting to get him into treatment and therapy, there may be improvment on his part as well.... check with the mental health clinic in your area or the local hospital for possibilities to receive treatment for your husband. Things are not as hopeless as they seem, but then, I am a person who doesn't take "no" for an answer... I go until I see results. In my husband's case I wrote e-mails galore to the US President, the US Vicepresident, their wives, the German government, the governors of both Maine and Montana, the commissioner of family and health services, Senators, Nami, NAACP (my husband is WHITE :D), Grey Panthers (he's only 41), Jesse Jackson... you name it, I wrote to them and many more, just to get my husband home. Ultimately God worked it out... praise God and not me :D , toughest lesson to learn for me after I did all I could was to sit back and do nothing and watch God work.

Anyway, maybe you did all of that already ... I just want you to know not to give up. The situation may be bleak, but it certainly is not hopeless with God on our side.