Women Working

[2Cor 5:19]

This is a question to the Apostolic brothers only ladies you have your own board let the brothers have the floor!

A: Should women go out into the workforce and split the bills?
B: Should they stay at home and take care of the home?
C: Should they work just for the heck of it?
D: Should they work unless you have small children that need that parent at home?

I'm not stirring up controversy just wanted some opinions! And also trying to get this Men's discussion board rollin!

[TodayAGiftFrGod]

To begin with, I'm confused... do you want the brothers or the sisters answering the questions?

[2Cor 5:19]

To begin with, I'm confused... do you want the brothers or the sisters answering the questions?

The brothers that's why I put it in the Men's Discussion!

[ddc101]

(sneaks in and reads section...hum......not a good topic for me to discuss since I would rather not work.Leaves glad to not have argued with men who refuse to make oodles of money and let the women spend it all freely)

[2Cor 5:19]

(sneaks in and reads section...hum......not a good topic for me to discuss since I would rather not work.Leaves glad to not have argued with men who refuse to make oodles of money and let the women spend it all freely)

Oh I know you had to get in on this Sis DDC101! Let us Men discuss and we'll discuss with the Ladies too after were finished okay! I love to hear what women have to say!

[Dudley Dooright]

I chose D, because it fits my current lifestyle. My wife was employed until we had our son.
Bro. Jamie Weaver

[2Cor 5:19]

I chose D, because it fits my current lifestyle. My wife was employed until we had our son.
Bro. Jamie Weaver

I agree with you 100%

[NanaRenan]

(a) I'm not the FIRST woman to peek into this thread and forum.
(b) I have very strong opinions, but,
(c) I've never been very good at keeping them to myself.

I know my remarks will be unpopular, but they're just honest feelings.

Unless a woman stridently wishes to work outside the home, she shouldn't be encouraged or expected to do so. Not that I think we should live lives shut away from the world, but working fosters relationships and places us in positions for temptations and enticements that are so great, we should take care to avoid them.

Of all the marriages I can think of that ended, none of them involved a housewife initiating a divorce, except in an instance of physical abuse. The others were all either initiated by the man or by a working woman either because she'd become involved with someone else or, because she now had an income coming in, she stepped out of her roll in God's order and began to think she'd be better off alone.

(I know those are generalizations and there are exceptions to every point...I admit that I'm speaking in broad terms here.)

ALSO:

If my husband and I are both working 40 hours a week and barely making ends meet, what happens if one of us loses our job? Can the other realistically do enough more to make up the difference?

But, if we are living on his income alone (which, trust me! I know is an enormous struggle!!) if he were to lose his job, I could go out and get something to help tide us over. Were I working, there wouldn't be that much I could do to help.

Just musings by Nana.

[2Cor 5:19]

(a) I'm not the FIRST woman to peek into this thread and forum.
(b) I have very strong opinions, but,
(c) I've never been very good at keeping them to myself.

I know my remarks will be unpopular, but they're just honest feelings.

Unless a woman stridently wishes to work outside the home, she shouldn't be encouraged or expected to do so. Not that I think we should live lives shut away from the world, but working fosters relationships and places us in positions for temptations and enticements that are so great, we should take care to avoid them.

Of all the marriages I can think of that ended, none of them involved a housewife initiating a divorce, except in an instance of physical abuse. The others were all either initiated by the man or by a working woman either because she'd become involved with someone else or, because she now had an income coming in, she stepped out of her roll in God's order and began to think she'd be better off alone.

(I know those are generalizations and there are exceptions to every point...I admit that I'm speaking in broad terms here.)

ALSO:

If my husband and I are both working 40 hours a week and barely making ends meet, what happens if one of us loses our job? Can the other realistically do enough more to make up the difference?

But, if we are living on his income alone (which, trust me! I know is an enormous struggle!!) if he were to lose his job, I could go out and get something to help tide us over. Were I working, there wouldn't be that much I could do to help.

Just musings by Nana.

Brothers were are you at women post more in the men's discussions than you do? You know they just can't keep quiet to save their own lives. Anyway we live in a day and age where women are strong in the workforce.

In my opinion why not work if you don't have small children did'nt women work in the bible? I'm not saying she has to be the chief bread winner but man if you want the extra goodies why not?

There are husbands that worked their butts off for their families and the wife is still unhappy! "My husband works so much we never go out you don't spend time with me" Well if he was'nt working all the time maybe you could go out.

If you both work that'll give you more time for romance and just going out. If I'm working all day and your sitting at home all I want is meal a game and then in the bed. Cause I'll say it once again ain't enough housework in the world to stay home all week period!

[Melody]

This is a question to the Apostolic brothers only ladies you have your own board let the brothers have the floor!

A: Should women go out into the workforce and split the bills?
B: Should they stay at home and take care of the home?
C: Should they work just for the heck of it?
D: Should they work unless you have small children that need that parent at home?

I'm not stirring up controversy just wanted some opinions! And also trying to get this Men's discussion board rollin!

What do you consider "small children"? If families are teaching their children at home as the scriptures instruct then the wife is needed at home until they graduate.

[2Cor 5:19]

What do you consider "small children"? If families are teaching their children at home as the scriptures instruct then the wife is needed at home until they graduate.

You see brothers they're still here I guess we need to get rid of the Men's and Women's discussion room. Because no one pays attention anyway! But small children are ones that can't take care of themselves that can't cook yet! When a children hits teenage years they have no need for someone to bath them iron their clothes......etc. Thats what I'm talking about!

[NanaRenan]

Sorry for continuing to lurk in the "Men's Room". LOL

But, Brother -- let me assure you -- teenagers are nothing more than toddlers with hormones and B.O. Sure, they can nuke food to sustain themselves and have enough sense to call 911 if a fire breaks out or someone tries to break in, but truly -- they have no more foresight of long-term consequences to immediate actions than a 2nd grader does. Trust me...I'm purt near through raisin' my FOURTH teenagers.

And as to the "why not work if there aren't children to consider"....well, Brother, again, everyone is different. But honest to goodness, if I "sell" 40+ hours of ME each week for a paltry paycheck, that job is getting the best part of me. What is leftover for my husband, my kids, my friends and above all my LORD and the church is just that -- the 'leftovers'.

Kudos to all the women who CAN do it all, but this sister KNOWS when she's maxxed out. I married young, worked for about a year then started a family. I didn't work full time again for SIXTEEN years. Then I worked for FOUR years and petitioned the Lord to make a way for me to stay home.

There were so many times when it grieved me to not be able to attend a funeral, or help a family in need, visit the hospital, etc, because I was tied to a job that ate up enormous amounts of my time and energy and paid peanuts. I'd SO much rather do without the "extra goodies", as you put it, than be giving away the best hours of my week to someone who won't remember my name 6 months after I walk out.

[2Cor 5:19]

Well fellas as usual the women bumrush and takeover so I rest my case on this topic.

[NanaRenan]

Well fellas as usual the women bumrush and takeover so I rest my case on this topic.

Brother, not to be contentious, I'm a little curious why you choose NOT to discuss it WITH women, since it, in fact, focuses on women...?

I can appreciate that you wanted the brethren to discuss it, but they haven't stepped up to the plate. We're here, we're willing, ready and able to discuss....You said you love to hear what women have to say....?

:goof:

[2Cor 5:19]

Brother, not to be contentious, I'm a little curious why you choose NOT to discuss it WITH women, since it, in fact, focuses on women...?

I can appreciate that you wanted the brethren to discuss it, but they haven't stepped up to the plate. We're here, we're willing, ready and able to discuss....You said you love to hear what women have to say....?

:goof:

True I did say I love to hear what women say. But this is the men's discussion board. Now I'll admit I've posted in the women's board but I don't make it a habit. But as soon as there's a topic in the men's discussion board that tickles the ears, BOOM! the women rush it. I know the men don't ever post here so that's why I said I rest my case.

[2Cor 5:19]

Proverbs 31 (Amplified Bible)

1THE WORDS of Lemuel king of Massa, which his mother taught him:

2What, my [a (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#fen-AMP-17287a)]son? What, son of my womb? What [shall I advise you], son of my vows and dedication to God?
3Give not your strength to [loose] women, nor your ways to those who and that which ruin and destroy kings.
4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink,(A (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17289A))
5Lest they drink and forget the law and what it decrees, and pervert the justice due any of the afflicted.
6Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, and wine to him in bitter distress of heart.
7Let him drink and forget his poverty and [seriously] remember his want and misery no more.
8Open your mouth for the dumb [those unable to speak for themselves], for the rights of all who are left desolate and defenseless;(B (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17293B))
9Open your mouth, judge righteously, and administer justice for the poor and needy.(C (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17294C))
10A capable, intelligent, and [b (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#fen-AMP-17295b)]virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.(D (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17295D))
11The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
12She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.
13She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].
14She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far [country].
15She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.(E (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17300E))
16She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]
17She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.
18She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].
19She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].
21She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.(F (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17306F))
22She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].(G (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17307G))
23Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.(H (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17308H))
24She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].
25Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!
26She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].
27She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.(I (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17312I))
28Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],
29[c (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#fen-AMP-17314c)]Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.
30Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! 31Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!(J (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=45#cen-AMP-17316J))

[NanaRenan]

True I did say I love to hear what women say. But this is the men's discussion board. Now I'll admit I've posted in the women's board but I don't make it a habit. But as soon as there's a topic in the men's discussion board that tickles the ears, BOOM! the women rush it. I know the men don't ever post here so that's why I said I rest my case.

Guess it's a take on that old saying...

If a man speaks in the men's forum and no woman is there to read it, is he still wrong....?

:p

[2Cor 5:19]

No it does'nt!

[Daisypetals]

....I heard you let women in here now.... The proverbs 31 woman is a working woman, . She has several jobs....she works in purchasing, works with her hands, sells tapestry, buys and sells property, she is the CEO of a winerly, she dabbles in shipping and receiving, catering..She also is a snazzy dresser... she wears the finest purple linen. I think she was an overacheiver!

It seems that in this day and age we live most women work. I worked part-time when my children were young and went full time when they were in school. I don't have a choice now that I am divorced. But I enjoy working and I feel like I am where God wants me to be. I can do the Lord's work when I am at work.

;)

[2Cor 5:19]

....I heard you let women in here now.... The proverbs 31 woman is a working woman, . She has several jobs....she works in purchasing, works with her hands, sells tapestry, buys and sells property, she is the CEO of a winerly, she dabbles in shipping and receiving, catering..She also is a snazzy dresser... she wears the finest purple linen. I think she was an overacheiver!

It seems that in this day and age we live most women work. I worked part-time when my children were young and went full time when they were in school. I don't have a choice now that I am divorced. But I enjoy working and I feel like I am where God wants me to be. I can do the Lord's work when I am at work.

;)

We'll they don't really let women in here but you guys just won't stay out!:yeah: But what you said is true!

[tammychestnut]

I don't mean to brag, but I am sure glad I have enough respect for the men and their discussion board not to be getting on here making a post!

:icon_laug

[2Cor 5:19]

I don't mean to brag, but I am sure glad I have enough respect for the men and their discussion board not to be getting on here making a post!

:icon_laug

Oh that's funny!

[fwhilton]

As stated in Prov 31... Women work to provide for their household.

In the NT she is instructed to...

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (1Ti 5:14)

It doesn't say she can not work, but she is to help in guiding the house. Which includes all aspects of finance, emotional stability etc...

It is strictly dependant on God's will for each ladie. All depends on "why" they want to work.

My wife stays home, we have no kids living at home. But, that is God's will for us.

To say women can never work is strecthing it to far.

:D

[2Cor 5:19]

As stated in Prov 31... Women work to provide for their household.

In the NT she is instructed to...

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (1Ti 5:14)

It doesn't say she can not work, but she is to help in guiding the house. Which includes all aspects of finance, emotional stability etc...

It is strictly dependant on God's will for each ladie. All depends on "why" they want to work.

My wife stays home, we have no kids living at home. But, that is God's will for us.

To say women can never work is strecthing it to far.

:D

I agree 100%

[crisstrunk]

Oh Sister how true this is,
I prayed to be ablet o stay home and in 2 weeks it is happening for me, the Lord truly provided a miracle for our family.

A women at home is so beneficial to the family as far as the needs of the family as well as the Spiritual needs. She can pray throughout the day, and give more of herself to the Lord and that in turn will provide more to the family in many different ways.

And my children are little now but I can truly see them always needing the mother at home yound and as as teenagers....

If there is anyway possible step out on faith and stay home God is a way maker.

Lord Bless
Sis Cris
Sorry for continuing to lurk in the "Men's Room". LOL

But, Brother -- let me assure you -- teenagers are nothing more than toddlers with hormones and B.O. Sure, they can nuke food to sustain themselves and have enough sense to call 911 if a fire breaks out or someone tries to break in, but truly -- they have no more foresight of long-term consequences to immediate actions than a 2nd grader does. Trust me...I'm purt near through raisin' my FOURTH teenagers.

And as to the "why not work if there aren't children to consider"....well, Brother, again, everyone is different. But honest to goodness, if I "sell" 40+ hours of ME each week for a paltry paycheck, that job is getting the best part of me. What is leftover for my husband, my kids, my friends and above all my LORD and the church is just that -- the 'leftovers'.

Kudos to all the women who CAN do it all, but this sister KNOWS when she's maxxed out. I married young, worked for about a year then started a family. I didn't work full time again for SIXTEEN years. Then I worked for FOUR years and petitioned the Lord to make a way for me to stay home.

There were so many times when it grieved me to not be able to attend a funeral, or help a family in need, visit the hospital, etc, because I was tied to a job that ate up enormous amounts of my time and energy and paid peanuts. I'd SO much rather do without the "extra goodies", as you put it, than be giving away the best hours of my week to someone who won't remember my name 6 months after I walk out.

[2Cor 5:19]

Personally I would not marry a woman who wanted to stay home all day.

[Rulkiewicz]

I would rather struggle a little financially (While letting God take care of the situation) and let my wife raise our kids the way their supposed to be raised. Too many parents want worldly things and toss their children in day cares because they both want to work...


"Lord, Why is my little Johnny a trouble maker? And thanks for my brand new boat!"

[WilliamPrice]

When I get married, I hope to have a job good enough that she will not have to work.

[2Cor 5:19]

It's nothing wrong with a woman staying home to raise the kids. But at some point kids grow up and leave then what? Oh stay home and raise the dogs and cats give me a break! Kids go to school for 6-7 hours a day so why could'nt a woman work a part-time job during those hours? Unless they were goingto be doing some MAJOR work for the church I still don't see a reason to stay home all day.

[Michlow]

It's nothing wrong with a woman staying home to raise the kids. But at some point kids grow up and leave then what? Oh stay home and raise the dogs and cats give me a break! Kids go to school for 6-7 hours a day so why could'nt a woman work a part-time job during those hours? Unless they were goingto be doing some MAJOR work for the church I still don't see a reason to stay home all day.

I am not even gonna apologzie for coming in uninvited....

This post really drove me to it!

I can't even blame you. You are simply a product of the consequences of womens rebellion.

We wanted "equality" and you know what we got???

More work!

Do you have ANY idea of what it takes to keep a house clean? Oh, should I add, when there are several other people living in it? (not as difficult when it is just yourself). Add Laundry, shopping, cooking, church work, finances. etc. And that is just keeping things running. Add children, and multiply the work by 2 (per child!).

I would just like to see you add a full time job or even a part time job on top of that! I tell you right now. 90% of the men in this world couldn't do it! I mean, you mean expect a commendation when you take the extra effort to put your dirty sweaty socks in the hamper, instead of thier usual place on the bedroom floor????

You would actually imply that a women is lazy because she doesn't want to work herself into an early grave????

I feel sorry for you, but more importantly, I feel sorry for the unfortunate future Mrs.

[2Cor 5:19]

I am not even gonna apologzie for coming in uninvited....

This post really drove me to it!

I can't even blame you. You are simply a product of the consequences of womens rebellion.

We wanted "equality" and you know what we got???

More work!

Do you have ANY idea of what it takes to keep a house clean? Oh, should I add, when there are several other people living in it? (not as difficult when it is just yourself). Add Laundry, shopping, cooking, church work, finances. etc. And that is just keeping things running. Add children, and multiply the work by 2 (per child!).

I would just like to see you add a full time job or even a part time job on top of that! I tell you right now. 90% of the men in this world couldn't do it! I mean, you mean expect a commendation when you take the extra effort to put your dirty sweaty socks in the hamper, instead of thier usual place on the bedroom floor????

You would actually imply that a women is lazy because she doesn't want to work herself into an early grave????

I feel sorry for you, but more importantly, I feel sorry for the unfortunate future Mrs.

First of all this is the MEN'S discussion and that's the problem with some women if you don't like what's said then start a "WOMEN'S discussion. Anyway I am just as clean as any woman I clean up just as much as a woman. I do laundry I cook and I'll work on top of that so don't give me that house work stuff. I don't have a problem cleaning and doing housework maybe if some women would'nt wait till saturday to clean up and do laundry it would'nt be so hard. And secondly you don't do the laundry the machine does the washing. If this were back in the ancient times where you had to scrub in the river different story. Now we have machines, vaccums, computers, microwaves so housework is'nt as hard as it was. And you need not to feel sorry for anyone I'd marry because she would'nt be lazy for one. And second we would do the housework "TOGETHER". And you need to worry about me worry about your own marriage if you have one. Now I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. But times are different there are some men who don't mind doing the same stuff women do. If women can hold a 9-5 like me I have no issue doing stuff around the house to make her life easier!

[Michlow]

First of all this is the MEN'S discussion and that's the problem with some women if you don't like what's said then start a "WOMEN'S discussion. Anyway I am just as clean as any woman I clean up just as much as a woman. I do laundry I cook and I'll work on top of that so don't give me that house work stuff. I don't have a problem cleaning and doing housework maybe if some women would'nt wait till saturday to clean up and do laundry it would'nt be so hard. And secondly you don't do the laundry the machine does the washing. If this were back in the ancient times where you had to scrub in the river different story. Now we have machines, vaccums, computers, microwaves so housework is'nt as hard as it was. And you need not to feel sorry for anyone I'd marry because she would'nt be lazy for one. And second we would do the housework "TOGETHER". And you need to worry aboutme worry about your own marriage if you have one. Now I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. But times are different there are some men who don't mind doing the same stuff women do. If women can hold a 9-5 like me I have no issue doing stuff around the house to make her life easier!

The "Machine" may do the laundry, but it doesn't fold it, put it away or iron it.

I don't care if a man minds doing the same stuff as a woman does or not. The fact of the matter is, God gave us the roles he did for a certain reason. Who are YOU to change it?

And thirdly, I love that you are implying that I am lazy and yet you know nothing about me.

I would like to say more, but quite frankly, I have taken a dislike to you, and nothing I say would be in any way edifying.

[2Cor 5:19]

The "Machine" may do the laundry, but it doesn't fold it, put it away or iron it.

I don't care if a man minds doing the same stuff as a woman does or not. The fact of the matter is, God gave us the roles he did for a certain reason. Who are YOU to change it?

And thirdly, I love that you are implying that I am lazy and yet you know nothing about me.

I would like to say more, but quite frankly, I have taken a dislike to you, and nothing I say would be in any way edifying.

Well that's fine if you've taken a dislike to me I really could care less. And I'm not changing anyone's roles thank you. Women decided they wanted to get out into the workforce and work like men so who's changing what. And I think it's a little immature to tell someone you dislike them just because they don't agree with you. I know for sure your older than I am so you should show some restraint with those kind of comments. If you don't like what I said what's that to you I'm not marrying you so why get all bothered by what I said. Anyway your right it's not edifying so I'll be an adult and say God bless and you live your life your way and I'll live mine!:D

[ddc101]

Brohter I did not get the check in the mail yet so I am going to have to report to work on Friday.....:icon_laug

[2Cor 5:19]

Brohter I did not get the check in the mail yet so I am going to have to report to work on Friday.....:icon_laug

You will someday from who I don't know.:D

[godlovermarg45]

This is something that each person should discuss with their spouse. Some people have to work.Istarted working when my children were older because that is what i chose to do.I am know a widow at a young age and i must work.

[2Cor 5:19]

This is something that each person should discuss with their spouse. Some people have to work.Istarted working when my children were older because that is what i chose to do.I am know a widow at a young age and i must work.

Yeah your right discuss it with your mate from the begining so there won't be any confusion.:D

[Shema]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman working...the book of Acts gives a fine illustration in 18:3...it specifically says that "they were tentmakers." Not he was a tentmaker...they were. They both worked...and Pual never said a word about it.
My wife works...for the first few years of marriage I had an excellent job...made enough to care for her, five children of my own, and numerous other homeless/cast-away children. Things were very difficult for me...working 70 plus hours a week non-stop...virtually no vacation...then coming home and helping to take care of all the kids. Honestly, the one who got shortchanged in the longrun was God. I really wanted out of the situation but couldn't get the guts to step out on stupid faith.
Fortunately God arranged for me to get fired from that job. The boss believed I had too much on my plate at home...preventing me from working 90 hours a week instead of 70??? He also found out my wife was black...that was pretty much the last straw and I soon found myself out of a job two weeks before X-mas.
I went about nine months with no job at all...we made it by the grace of God because it wasn't me...Now, about a year and a half later we are both working and just barely making it...
The point is...though my wife is working...and I would rather she be able to stay home...we are closer to God than ever. I am a minister now...I have plenty of time to study now...we rarely miss church...and most of all we are happy....by the way...today we both turned 30 years old.

[2Cor 5:19]

I agree with the above post there's nothing wrong as long as the two agree with it.

[Secret Sister]

I work not because I want to (although I do enjoy my job tremendously and was blessed with such), but rather out of a need to. My husband works a job with EXCELLENT benefits (insurance doesn't come out of his pocket at all), yet the pay is very measly and not enough to cover all of the basics. So, I am working a maximum of 12 hours a week away from home which I complete in just 2 days and am also running a business at home which takes up no more than 5 hours a week of my time. The only time I worked full-time was while providing child care at home to be home where I belong and then another period of 9 months at an away-from-home job to pay for medical bills, after which I went right back to working part-time.

Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has insisted that I work full-time even when I don't need to, so that he can have all of these luxury items. He CHOSE not to keep a $12/hour job which he left the first day and take a paycut of almost $4/hour from his previous job to take this one. He LOVES to spend money, whereas I LOVE to give and save -- his WANTS overpower our NEEDS to make sure we have an emergency fun also. Imagine my stress level when he goes on an eBay spending spree or pawns items only to leave it up to me to figure out where we're going to come up with the money to take care of our obligations.

Fortunately, we have no credit or debit cards, so I don't have that stress to contend with. Even so, one or two of our basic necessities would be neglected if I did not work.

This coming from one gal who knows where her place is but who cannot be there at all times, every family has to make sacrifice at one time or another.

[2Cor 5:19]

I work not because I want to (although I do enjoy my job tremendously and was blessed with such), but rather out of a need to. My husband works a job with EXCELLENT benefits (insurance doesn't come out of his pocket at all), yet the pay is very measly and not enough to cover all of the basics. So, I am working a maximum of 12 hours a week away from home which I complete in just 2 days and am also running a business at home which takes up no more than 5 hours a week of my time. The only time I worked full-time was while providing child care at home to be home where I belong and then another period of 9 months at an away-from-home job to pay for medical bills, after which I went right back to working part-time.

Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has insisted that I work full-time even when I don't need to, so that he can have all of these luxury items. He CHOSE not to keep a $12/hour job which he left the first day and take a paycut of almost $4/hour from his previous job to take this one. He LOVES to spend money, whereas I LOVE to give and save -- his WANTS overpower our NEEDS to make sure we have an emergency fun also. Imagine my stress level when he goes on an eBay spending spree or pawns items only to leave it up to me to figure out where we're going to come up with the money to take care of our obligations.

Fortunately, we have no credit or debit cards, so I don't have that stress to contend with. Even so, one or two of our basic necessities would be neglected if I did not work.

This coming from one gal who knows where her place is but who cannot be there at all times, every family has to make sacrifice at one time or another.

Wow it's amazing how transparent people can be on this board!

[Secret Sister]

Wow it's amazing how transparent people can be on this board!
Can you please explain your comment? I'm not one to get offended easily, so please feel free.

[ApostolicBeauty]

It's nothing wrong with a woman staying home to raise the kids. But at some point kids grow up and leave then what? Oh stay home and raise the dogs and cats give me a break! Kids go to school for 6-7 hours a day so why could'nt a woman work a part-time job during those hours? Unless they were goingto be doing some MAJOR work for the church I still don't see a reason to stay home all day.

Sadly this post reflects how far our "modern" society has degraded women in the search for "equality" by feminists. How sad when men "expect" a woman to work outside the home (as if keeping a home isn't enough!) Having a woman work outside the home unless it is an absolute necessity (and I do mean necessary NOT for stuff you want, but for NEEDS like food, shelter etc) is a very bad idea.

Women are the weaker vessel. how many women are totally stressed out due to the environment in the working world today? Is that job worth having your home constantly disrupted by trying to make 2 schedules work? Are you willing to do exactly 50% of the housework? (most men are not let's be honest!), is it worth it to have your wife possibly exposed to temptations that could easily be avoided? Also how many women have been assaulted coming to or from work often by weirdos who work with them or follow them home etc?

If the kids are grown and the wife is at home, isn't it much more beneficial to the Kingdom that she perhaps visit the ill in nursing homes and hospitals? visit the sick from the church or help a young mother become a "good" mother?

Isn't having a pleasant environment at home, with a dinner waiting worth it?

My pastor states openly from the pulpit that ideally women should NOT work outside the home if at all possible. and I agree with him.

[2Cor 5:19]

Sadly this post reflects how far our "modern" society has degraded women in the search for "equality" by feminists. How sad when men "expect" a woman to work outside the home (as if keeping a home isn't enough!) Having a woman work outside the home unless it is an absolute necessity (and I do mean necessary NOT for stuff you want, but for NEEDS like food, shelter etc) is a very bad idea.

Women are the weaker vessel. how many women are totally stressed out due to the environment in the working world today? Is that job worth having your home constantly disrupted by trying to make 2 schedules work? Are you willing to do exactly 50% of the housework? (most men are not let's be honest!), is it worth it to have your wife possibly exposed to temptations that could easily be avoided? Also how many women have been assaulted coming to or from work often by weirdos who work with them or follow them home etc?

If the kids are grown and the wife is at home, isn't it much more beneficial to the Kingdom that she perhaps visit the ill in nursing homes and hospitals? visit the sick from the church or help a young mother become a "good" mother?

Isn't having a pleasant environment at home, with a dinner waiting worth it?

My pastor states openly from the pulpit that ideally women should NOT work outside the home if at all possible. and I agree with him.

Well first off let me say this everyone is stressed in the workplace not just women. Anyone can be tempted in the workplace so that has nothing to do with it. Like I stated in my post you qouted if your doing work for the church/Lord then so be it. But in my opinion to just sit home all day is just not something I want MY WIFE to do! This applies to me and my household whatever everyone wants to do with their's is their business.

[ApostolicBeauty]

Well first off let me say this everyone is stressed in the workplace not just women. Anyone can be tempted in the workplace so that has nothing to do with it. Like I stated in my post you qouted if your doing work for the church/Lord then so be it. But in my opinion to just sit home all day is just not something I want MY WIFE to do! This applies to me and my household whatever everyone wants to do with their's is their business.

What I find disturbing is you assume your wife will be sitting at home all day. There is plenty of housework to be done at home, meals to prepare, phone calls & business to be followed up on. The belief that stay at home wives just "sit around" is propganda forwarded by the feminist movement and reinforced by the fallen media.

[Abigail4476]

What I find disturbing is you assume your wife will be sitting at home all day. There is plenty of housework to be done at home, meals to prepare, phone calls & business to be followed up on. The belief that stay at home wives just "sit around" is propaganda forwarded by the feminist movement and reinforced by the fallen media.

Good post. I totally agree.

[LadyRev]

Well first off let me say this everyone is stressed in the workplace not just women. Anyone can be tempted in the workplace so that has nothing to do with it. Like I stated in my post you qouted if your doing work for the church/Lord then so be it. But in my opinion to just sit home all day is just not something I want MY WIFE to do! This applies to me and my household whatever everyone wants to do with their's is their business.

Ummm...actually...it was GOD that said the wife is the KEEPER at home and the GUIDE to the home.

It was also GOD that said that the MAN that doesn't provide for his own household is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith.

But on the other hand God didn't say that a woman couldn't work outside the home and in today's world its often necessary.

God also talked about busybodies and laziness...so we know that whether they work outside the home or not, wives shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing all day long while using the "keeper" scriptures as backup.

However, a stay at home mom shouldn't be expected to do all the housework, childcare, etc. by herself simply because she doesn't work outside the home. Housework and childcare never ends. The husband doesn't have the right to come home, kick up his feet and do nothing while she continues running after kids, etc., until bed time just as shes done all day long. He needs to help! She didn't have those kids by herself nor does she mess up a home by herself. Why should he go work his 8 hours and then expect to come home, relax, and do no more while his wife is expected to continue working into the evening after working all day?

And then some guys wonder why their wives are "too tired" at bedtime??? GO FIGURE! Not getting any plainer than this either...if you don't understand, I'm not explaining.

Disclaimer: MEN constantly invade the Ladies Discussions so I feel no remorse over invading the Men's Discussion! :p

[ddc101]

Speaking of work.I have more work at home than on the job.Today we
cleaned up and rearranged bedrooms.EEK.I packed up lots of my dads
things and moved my younger daughter into his room and now I am moving into hers.Which btw was actually supposed to be mine in the first place.We were making the sitting room a bedroom in order to hear my dad in the night hours.
I will be glad when all is put away and I can relax.
For all the men who don't think women should work
send me a check and I will stay home and you can live out your conviction.Until then I have to work.lol..lv sis.c

[2Cor 5:19]

Ummm...actually...it was GOD that said the wife is the KEEPER at home and the GUIDE to the home.

It was also GOD that said that the MAN that doesn't provide for his own household is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith.

But on the other hand God didn't say that a woman couldn't work outside the home and in today's world its often necessary.

God also talked about busybodies and laziness...so we know that whether they work outside the home or not, wives shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing all day long while using the "keeper" scriptures as backup.

However, a stay at home mom shouldn't be expected to do all the housework, childcare, etc. by herself simply because she doesn't work outside the home. Housework and childcare never ends. The husband doesn't have the right to come home, kick up his feet and do nothing while she continues running after kids, etc., until bed time just as shes done all day long. He needs to help! She didn't have those kids by herself nor does she mess up a home by herself. Why should he go work his 8 hours and then expect to come home, relax, and do no more while his wife is expected to continue working into the evening after working all day?

And then some guys wonder why their wives are "too tired" at bedtime??? GO FIGURE! Not getting any plainer than this either...if you don't understand, I'm not explaining.

Disclaimer: MEN constantly invade the Ladies Discussions so I feel no remorse over invading the Men's Discussion! :p

It all depends on what kind of marriage you have I myself I'm not the messy throw stuff all over the place kinda guy. I'm neater than some women I know so trust me it's not about housework. If your situation calls for you to stay at home because you have like six children then that's up to you. I myself would'nt have that many it would take up too much time and energy from my marriage. So everyone needs to work out their own household and stop trying to tell others what should be done.

[2Cor 5:19]

What I find disturbing is you assume your wife will be sitting at home all day. There is plenty of housework to be done at home, meals to prepare, phone calls & business to be followed up on. The belief that stay at home wives just "sit around" is propganda forwarded by the feminist movement and reinforced by the fallen media.

Sorry I have to partially disagree with what you said. But it does'nt matter I'm not marrying you and refuse to argue my position with anyone. How about this you worry about your household and run it your way and I'll do the same.

[2Cor 5:19]

Let me say this also if the husbands of these women who want to stay home agree with it so be it. Who am I to tell someone how to run their house? So I don't need for anyone to give me scenarios or ideas why a women should stay home. Her and myself will work it out I'm just saying I know how I am and what I want.

[2Cor 5:19]

Disclaimer: MEN constantly invade the Ladies Discussions so I feel no remorse over invading the Men's Discussion! :p

I think on this cafe women invade just as much as men do!:cool:

[Abigail4476]

It all depends on what kind of marriage you have I myself I'm not the messy throw stuff all over the place kinda guy. I'm neater than some women I know so trust me it's not about housework. If your situation calls for you to stay at home because you have like six children then that's up to you. I myself would'nt have that many it would take up too much time and energy from my marriage. So everyone needs to work out their own household and stop trying to tell others what should be done.

My mother stayed home for 52 years while my Dad worked. Neither of them were messy people, and they had only 1 child at home for 18 of those years, and no children at home for 10 of them. Regardless, my mother always busied herself preparing meals, hanging curtains, sewing, cleaning, planting flowers, writing cards and letters, and all the things women can do quite well.

I'm so thankful I knew to look for a husband who supported his wife's role in the same way my father supported my mother. What she did was important and having a fresh bouquet of flowers on the dining room table is important to the family dynamic, believe it or not. :tup:

[Abigail4476]

Let me say this also if the husbands of these women who want to stay home agree with it so be it. Who am I to tell someone how to run their house? So I don't need for anyone to give me scenarios or ideas why a women should stay home. Her and myself will work it out I'm just saying I know how I am and what I want.

Well, whether you need scenarios or not is irrelevant. Once we've invaded, we've invaded....you're gonna get them no matter what!

It doesn't bother me if a couple decide the wife needs to work outside the home. What bothers me is when the husband insists that his wife work outside the home on the premise that working at home isn't hard enough. My husband wants me to have time to cook meals from scratch and sew up a new skirt if I so desire. Some men would say that if I have time to sew up a new skirt then I have too much time on my hands. I say that's following the precedent of Proverbs 31 and providing for myself and my household.

*shrug* It's just a matter of perspective. I have met quite a few men lately, especially young men, who think women who don't work outside the home are lazy and unproductive, and that's a bothersome point of view, not to mention an inaccurate one.

The exception would be, of course, if you have a wife who is lazy, in which case, she needs to pray through. :)

[2Cor 5:19]

My mother stayed home for 52 years while my Dad worked. Neither of them were messy people, and they had only 1 child at home for 18 of those years, and no children at home for 10 of them. Regardless, my mother always busied herself preparing meals, hanging curtains, sewing, cleaning, planting flowers, writing cards and letters, and all the things women can do quite well.

I'm so thankful I knew to look for a husband who supported his wife's role in the same way my father supported my mother. What she did was important and having a fresh bouquet of flowers on the dining room table is important to the family dynamic, believe it or not. :tup:

Well I won't totally disagree with you Sis Abigail I love that side of a marriage definitely! Home cooked meals it's not really the meal for me it's the preperation of that meal you know what I mean? I mean she knew what exactly I liked and made it special for me that's cool. But once again I know you invaded this thread but not my way of thinking.:cool:

[2Cor 5:19]

Well, whether you need scenarios or not is irrelevant. Once we've invaded, we've invaded....you're gonna get them no matter what!

It doesn't bother me if a couple decide the wife needs to work outside the home. What bothers me is when the husband insists that his wife work outside the home on the premise that working at home isn't hard enough. My husband wants me to have time to cook meals from scratch and sew up a new skirt if I so desire. Some men would say that if I have time to sew up a new skirt then I have too much time on my hands. I say that's following the precedent of Proverbs 31 and providing for myself and my household.

*shrug* It's just a matter of perspective. I have met quite a few men lately, especially young men, who think women who don't work outside the home are lazy and unproductive, and that's a bothersome point of view, not to mention an inaccurate one.

The exception would be, of course, if you have a wife who is lazy, in which case, she needs to pray through. :)

Unproductive it all depends on what needs to be done so that's a whole different subject there. Cause you can do alot of worthless stuff and keep yourself busy you know? But you and myself are in the same age range 25-35 so we're in a different era. But one thing I can say I do like a woman with some old fashioned values.:D

[OriginalPraxeas]

This is a question to the Apostolic brothers only ladies you have your own board let the brothers have the floor!

A: Should women go out into the workforce and split the bills?
B: Should they stay at home and take care of the home?
C: Should they work just for the heck of it?
D: Should they work unless you have small children that need that parent at home?

I'm not stirring up controversy just wanted some opinions! And also trying to get this Men's discussion board rollin!

I don't think, even in the bible days, that women did not have jobs for the most part. It's just that jobs for many were around the home or working in communities of women to make clothes or bread together

ISBE
Among the Hebrews, woman administered the affairs of the home with a liberty and leadership unknown to other oriental peoples. Her domestic duties were more independent, varied and honorable.

She was not the slave or menial of her husband. Her outdoor occupations were congenial, healthful, extensive. She often tended the flocks (Gen_29:6; Exo_2:16); spun the wool, and made the clothing of the family (Exo_35:26; Pro_31:19; 1Sa_2:19); contributed by her weaving and needlework to its income and support (Pro_31:14, Pro_31:24), and to charity (Act_9:39).

Women ground the grain (Mat_24:41); prepared the meals (Gen_18:6; 2Sa_13:8; Joh_12:2); invited and received guests (Jdg_4:18; 1Sa_25:18 ff; 2Ki_4:8-10); drew water for household use (1Sa_9:11; Joh_4:7), for guests and even for their camels (Gen_24:15-20). Hebrew women enjoyed a freedom that corresponds favorably with the larger liberties granted them in the Christian era.

[jstoblikJesus]

I like how my pastor puts it. God didn't take the foot bone for man to walk all over his wife. He didn't take the jawbone so man could talk down to her. he didn't take the hand bones so he could push her around. He took the bone that is closest to the heart. So that he would love her as Christ loved the church.
Ephesians 5:25 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=56&chapter=5&verse=25&version=9&context=verse)
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

To me giving myself for her is doing everything possible so that she will be comfortable. I want her to be at home not to fix my meals and sew clothes. I want her to be home so that she can have more time to pray, teach my kids to pray, read the bible to them. I've learned that if I do everything to make her feel comfortable and secure then she in turn treats me with the respect that God would want her to. And the result is she does cook my meals and takes care of me. You might say well what if my wife doesn't do these things? Well we are still comanded to love her just the same and when you do this it will heap hot coals on her (guilt or conviction). Look at this again
Ephesians 5:25 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=56&chapter=5&verse=25&version=9&context=verse)
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Christ loves us unconditionaly. When we rebel against the natural order of things that he has asked us to be or do. He doesn't slap us around and say you are going to do this. He points our atention to calvary thereby chastising us with love.
Proverbs 25:22 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=24&chapter=25&verse=22&version=31&context=verse)
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you
Romans 12:20 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=12&verse=20&version=31&context=verse)
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

What made me see things this way is my pastor and some of the saints in my church. I was very rebelious and didn't want to like them. I hated them and felt they had ruined my life when my parents started going to church there. My pastor new this the spirit had shown him and he could discern it from the way I acted around him. He didn't beat me up or talk down to me nor did the saints. He would look me in the eyes and tell me "Brother Derrick I love you" those words hurt me inside worse than anything he could have done or said because I could see he meant it and I didn't deserve his love. Neither do we deserve Gods love but he does the same. If we take this attitude with our wives it works. Just my 2 cents.

[Perthman]

I don't post very often , but occasionally I read posts, and I have been following this subject,and would like to say that was a beautiful way to sum it up.
That was a gem because it comes straight from God's word; we are commanded to love our wives whether or not she does or doesn't do everything like the way we believe she should.
A godly woman will not be idle if she stays at home with the children; but will busy herself in fruitful activities, as I know by a sister in my church whom I have known since I was first saved 22years ago.
She found time to do all the household duties and her home was always in a good reasonable clean condition but she prayed always that in some way she could meet a need for someone ( to be there for someone who needs incouragement.) I'm not married so I don't have experience, but I have seen a good example of a godly wife and mother.

[Rico]

First of all this is the MEN'S discussion and that's the problem with some women if you don't like what's said then start a "WOMEN'S discussion. Anyway I am just as clean as any woman I clean up just as much as a woman. I do laundry I cook and I'll work on top of that so don't give me that house work stuff. I don't have a problem cleaning and doing housework maybe if some women would'nt wait till saturday to clean up and do laundry it would'nt be so hard. And secondly you don't do the laundry the machine does the washing. If this were back in the ancient times where you had to scrub in the river different story. Now we have machines, vaccums, computers, microwaves so housework is'nt as hard as it was. And you need not to feel sorry for anyone I'd marry because she would'nt be lazy for one. And second we would do the housework "TOGETHER". And you need to worry about me worry about your own marriage if you have one. Now I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. But times are different there are some men who don't mind doing the same stuff women do. If women can hold a 9-5 like me I have no issue doing stuff around the house to make her life easier!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Rico]

The "Machine" may do the laundry, but it doesn't fold it, put it away or iron it.

I don't care if a man minds doing the same stuff as a woman does or not. The fact of the matter is, God gave us the roles he did for a certain reason. Who are YOU to change it?

And thirdly, I love that you are implying that I am lazy and yet you know nothing about me.

I would like to say more, but quite frankly, I have taken a dislike to you, and nothing I say would be in any way edifying.

Yer just mad cause he put ya in yer place! :icon_laug

[Rico]

What I find disturbing is you assume your wife will be sitting at home all day. There is plenty of housework to be done at home, meals to prepare, phone calls & business to be followed up on. The belief that stay at home wives just "sit around" is propganda forwarded by the feminist movement and reinforced by the fallen media.

Propaganda? I guess that's why soap operas are so popular, huh? They're busy appealing to all those men that don't work during the day. Surely it couldn't be all those women, SITTING AROUND, could it? I mean, they're busy all day with housework, right?:cool:

[Rico]

Ummm...actually...it was GOD that said the wife is the KEEPER at home and the GUIDE to the home.

It was also GOD that said that the MAN that doesn't provide for his own household is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith.

But on the other hand God didn't say that a woman couldn't work outside the home and in today's world its often necessary.

God also talked about busybodies and laziness...so we know that whether they work outside the home or not, wives shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing all day long while using the "keeper" scriptures as backup.

However, a stay at home mom shouldn't be expected to do all the housework, childcare, etc. by herself simply because she doesn't work outside the home. Housework and childcare never ends. The husband doesn't have the right to come home, kick up his feet and do nothing while she continues running after kids, etc., until bed time just as shes done all day long. He needs to help! She didn't have those kids by herself nor does she mess up a home by herself. Why should he go work his 8 hours and then expect to come home, relax, and do no more while his wife is expected to continue working into the evening after working all day?

And then some guys wonder why their wives are "too tired" at bedtime??? GO FIGURE! Not getting any plainer than this either...if you don't understand, I'm not explaining.

Disclaimer: MEN constantly invade the Ladies Discussions so I feel no remorse over invading the Men's Discussion! :p

How about because it's his money she's living off of, for one. Also, a man is entitled to be the king of his castle, whether women like it or not. :D

[Rico]

Man, I am having too much fun on this thread, although a bit late. LOL! Too bad I wasn't around when all these posts were fresh. We coulda had a real humdinger! :D

[Hayden]

What happens when the wife does stay home and it doesn't work out so well? Sometimes the man will misuse the finances. He will make unwise decisions that lead to all kinds of unwanted and unnecessary debt - at least in his wife's opinion.

It is possible for the wife to be put into a situation where if she is unemployed, life can be difficult for her. If her husband is not going to pay the bills and clear up the credit ratings, then she may have to do the best she can with finding fulltime employment in order to have her basic needs met.

For some women, it takes a lot of trust and confidence to actually trust that a man will do his part. She may be giving up a part of her life that she may never get back. It would be great if the man working and the woman working at home only always worked for every married couple.

[ddc101]

Its not trusting the husband.Its called dying to self will and trusting that
God is going to do what the bible says He will and that He will deal with
the man who refuses to work.The sluggard spirit exists today in a big way.:eek:

[LadyRev]

How about because it's his money she's living off of, for one. Also, a man is entitled to be the king of his castle, whether women like it or not. :D

Oh really?

What happened to a husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF for it?

What happened to a husband loving his wife AS HIS OWN BODY? Nourishing it, cherishing it, etc.?

Hmmmm?

Sounds like the KING needs to remember who the QUEEN is! LOLROTF! :laugh:

[Shauna]

Why do women marry men that they can't trust to do their part? Aren't they setting themselves up for trouble? I mean if you don't know for a fact that this person has a stable track record of employment, paying bills on time, etc. why marry them?








For some women, it takes a lot of trust and confidence to actually trust that a man will do his part. She may be giving up a part of her life that she may never get back. It would be great if the man working and the woman working at home only always worked for every married couple.

[Rico]

Oh really?


Yes, really.

What happened to a husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF for it?

Hey, I make sure she has a roof over her head and won't let anyone mess with her. We're still together, ain't we?

What happened to a husband loving his wife AS HIS OWN BODY? Nourishing it, cherishing it, etc.?

Hey, I make sure she gets plenty to eat and gets a bath, whether she wants one or not.

Hmmmm?

Sounds like the KING needs to remember who the QUEEN is! LOLROTF! :laugh:

More like the Queen needs to remember who her Big Daddy King Rico is! :D




Man, this is fun! :yeah: :yeah:
























BTW, y'all, I'm just havin some fun. I like the battle between the sexes thing. It's always lots of fun. I was raised by a single mom and had to learn to defend us guys at a young age, SO BRING IT ON!! I can take half a dozen of ya on with one hand tied behind my back!!!!:goof:

[lovedbyHim]

Man, this is fun! :yeah: :yeah:

BTW, y'all, I'm just havin some fun. I like the battle between the sexes thing. It's always lots of fun. I was raised by a single mom and had to learn to defend us guys at a young age, SO BRING IT ON!! I can take half a dozen of ya on with one hand tied behind my back!!!!:goof:



You sound like the cowardly lion......:icon_laug

I think the most important part of a woman staying home is being there for her children, especially when they are younger. I don't see anything wrong with a woman staying home after the children are grown or in high school......but as for me, I get completely bored being here all day by myself, but that is just me. I'm so thankful that God gave me the opportunity to spend time at home with my kids for most of their pre school years, and even though they are both now in school full time I am still at home with them. (I am looking for part time work though.)

Every household is different, in some cases I do think a woman is able to go find work, in other cases it's important for the wife to be home. It just depends.

My mother in law stays home all day....she hasn't had kids living with her for 12 years. She has had odd jobs since then, but she doesnt keep them very long. She basically sleeps until probably noon, gets up, piddles around the house a bit, takes a nap, watches Oprah.....then when her dear sweet husband gets home from being on his feet for 10 hours (he's 60 and in very poor health) sometimes she will make him cook dinner, she rarely cooks homemade meals. And then maybe she will get him to help her with something like hanging a ceiling fan, or re decorating the bedroom for the 900th time that month. Or maybe she will make him hang the picture she just spent $500 of his hard earned $$ on that day. Then the next day.....same ol' thing. That aggravates me to no end! My father in law works his fingers to the bone, he has a disease that makes him barely able to breathe, he's so skinny he probably weighs less than me......I hate to see it.
I know I'm not making a very good claim for the ladies here, but my point is that THAT is the definition of lazy....and men if your wives stay home from work and you come home and your house is clean and you are fed that night.....you most certainly do NOT have a lazy wife.

[Hayden]

Many times it is hard to really know a person until after marriage. The marriage spouse can talk and put up a good picture as to who they actually are. They can say a lot of things that appear to be truthful. Then after marriage, the true colors show.

It can be hard to know for a fact if the person you are marrying is lazy, refuse to work, refuse to prepare meals, or enjoys living the life of sinful debt. Or if the spouse would go to great lengths to make sure the family struggled with collection agencies and debt collector phone calls and that the family damages their health by their eating habits.

Also, people can change their minds about pre-marriage decisions. They can also be tempted in all kinds of sin that they never ever imagined they would engage in.

With some people, it is just taking a chance on what the spouse will do and will not do once the marriage ceremony is over. For some people, they get "the worse" in the "for better of worse" part of certain marriage vows.

For example. a man can say that opposite sex friendships should be monitored. There should be rules against being alone together, etc. Then, after marriage, he breaks all of the pre-marriage rules with his female friend. Then he argues with the wife about how he is right and is doing nothing at all wrwong. She is wrong because she disagrees with him.

[Michlow]

The "Machine" may do the laundry, but it doesn't fold it, put it away or iron it.

I don't care if a man minds doing the same stuff as a woman does or not. The fact of the matter is, God gave us the roles he did for a certain reason. Who are YOU to change it?

And thirdly, I love that you are implying that I am lazy and yet you know nothing about me.

I would like to say more, but quite frankly, I have taken a dislike to you, and nothing I say would be in any way edifying.

Wow, I forgot all about this post. (Thanks a lot for bringing it back up Rico! :grumble: )

It's funny how a few months later I can see so clearly why I got so worked up over this topic.

The truth is, I have been wrestling for many years trying to come to terms with my situation.

Many of you already know this, but My husband has Asperger's Syndrome. This is a type of Autism, and is a neurological disorder in which there is no cure. No counseling, no medication, nothing that can change what is.

This condition puts a lot of stress on me, as my husband is not mentally capable of fulfilling his God's given role as head of the household, spiritual leader, or breadwinner.

I am bascially put into a position almost equal to that of a single Mom, where all the responsibility is on my shoulders.

I have been weighed down with a tremendous amount of guilt and frustration since I became a Christian. I have always felt ashamed of my "sin" of usurping my husbands authority or by overstepping my God given role as a woman and a wife.

The truth of the matter is that I have no choice. I must do what my husband is mentally or physically incapable of doing.

Also, I forget when I hear a man casually refer to how a woman who doesn't work outside the home must sit around and watch soap's. See I forget that not every other woman is married to a guy with Asperger's and not every other woman has to do everything all on her own.

So I apologize to the originator of this thread and admit, that I have no idea how both working outside the home would work between two neurologically normal hardworking people.

[Just wondering]

Oh really?

What happened to a husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF for it?

What happened to a husband loving his wife AS HIS OWN BODY? Nourishing it, cherishing it, etc.?

Hmmmm?

Sounds like the KING needs to remember who the QUEEN is! LOLROTF! :laugh:

Preach it, Sis. :tup:

[Just wondering]

Wow, I forgot all about this post. (Thanks a lot for bringing it back up Rico! :grumble: )

It's funny how a few months later I can see so clearly why I got so worked up over this topic.

The truth is, I have been wrestling for many years trying to come to terms with my situation.

Many of you already know this, but My husband has Asperger's Syndrome. This is a type of Autism, and is a neurological disorder in which there is no cure. No counseling, no medication, nothing that can change what is.

This condition puts a lot of stress on me, as my husband is not mentally capable of fulfilling his God's given role as head of the household, spiritual leader, or breadwinner.

I am bascially put into a position almost equal to that of a single Mom, where all the responsibility is on my shoulders.

I have been weighed down with a tremendous amount of guilt and frustration since I became a Christian. I have always felt ashamed of my "sin" of usurping my husbands authority or by overstepping my God given role as a woman and a wife.

The truth of the matter is that I have no choice. I must do what my husband is mentally or physically incapable of doing.

Also, I forget when I hear a man casually refer to how a woman who doesn't work outside the home must sit around and watch soap's. See I forget that not every other woman is married to a guy with Asperger's and not every other woman has to do everything all on her own.

So I apologize to the originator of this thread and admit, that I have no idea how both working outside the home would work between two neurologically normal hardworking people.

I know that this has to be difficult for you. I'll be praying that God will touch your husband. There is nothing that God can't do. Even though you say that there is no help for your husband remember that God took stripes upon his back for our healing. God is able to heal him. But until that time I pray that God will give you the strength to do what you need to do.:)

[Rico]

Wow, I forgot all about this post. (Thanks a lot for bringing it back up Rico! :grumble: )

It's funny how a few months later I can see so clearly why I got so worked up over this topic.

The truth is, I have been wrestling for many years trying to come to terms with my situation.

Many of you already know this, but My husband has Asperger's Syndrome. This is a type of Autism, and is a neurological disorder in which there is no cure. No counseling, no medication, nothing that can change what is.

This condition puts a lot of stress on me, as my husband is not mentally capable of fulfilling his God's given role as head of the household, spiritual leader, or breadwinner.

I am bascially put into a position almost equal to that of a single Mom, where all the responsibility is on my shoulders.

I have been weighed down with a tremendous amount of guilt and frustration since I became a Christian. I have always felt ashamed of my "sin" of usurping my husbands authority or by overstepping my God given role as a woman and a wife.

The truth of the matter is that I have no choice. I must do what my husband is mentally or physically incapable of doing.

Also, I forget when I hear a man casually refer to how a woman who doesn't work outside the home must sit around and watch soap's. See I forget that not every other woman is married to a guy with Asperger's and not every other woman has to do everything all on her own.

So I apologize to the originator of this thread and admit, that I have no idea how both working outside the home would work between two neurologically normal hardworking people.

Sister, I just want to encourage you in the Lord and tell you that He's always there for you to lean on. My wife has some issues of her own and at times it can get stressful for both of us. We've learned how to laugh those times off, even though they're tough to go through when going through them. Some people have thought that I don't love her or she doesn't love me, because of the way we argue sometimes. But I can say that we always go to sleep loving each other and realizing that the events of the day are behind us and we need to look forward to another day. We're practically inseparable at this point in our marriage.

[Just wondering]

Man, this is fun! :yeah: :yeah:
























BTW, y'all, I'm just havin some fun. I like the battle between the sexes thing. It's always lots of fun. I was raised by a single mom and had to learn to defend us guys at a young age, SO BRING IT ON!! I can take half a dozen of ya on with one hand tied behind my back!!!!:goof:

Well I live in a house with a husband and it was 3 boys (but one recently got married) so I have had to learn to defend myself. Whew! sometimes that is not easy.:cool:

[Rico]

Well I live in a house with a husband and it was 3 boys (but one recently got married) so I have had to learn to defend myself. Whew! sometimes that is not easy.:cool:

I think as long as it's done in fun the men vs. women thing can be a blast. My wife and I have alot of fun poking at each other over our differences.

[Just wondering]

I think as long as it's done in fun the men vs. women thing can be a blast. My wife and I have alot of fun poking at each other over our differences.

Yeah, as long a it is done in fun it can be a blast. But sometimes I wish there was another female in the house to help me. 3 to 1 is kind of uneven. :D

Of course when a friend of mine comes over they always take my side and then things really get to be fun:tup:

[Rico]

Yeah, as long a it is done in fun it can be a blast. But sometimes I wish there was another female in the house to help me. 3 to 1 is kind of uneven. :D

Of course when a friend of mine comes over they always take my side and then things really get to be fun:tup:

Sister, you have all the power in the house. If you don't believe me just stop cooking and cleaning for awhile and see what happens. :laugh:

[Just wondering]

Sister, you have all the power in the house. If you don't believe me just stop cooking and cleaning for awhile and see what happens. :laugh:

Rico, you do have a good point. :tup:

[BrotherEastman]

Sister, you have all the power in the house. If you don't believe me just stop cooking and cleaning for awhile and see what happens. :laugh:
DON'T BE GIVING THEM ANY IDEAS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY.:huh: :wah: ;)

[Deonna]

....SO BRING IT ON!! I can take half a dozen of ya on with one hand tied behind my back!!!!:goof:

Reminds me of the cowardly lion:
"Put 'um up! Put 'um up!"

:D

[Rico]

DON'T BE GIVING THEM ANY IDEAS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY.:huh: :wah: ;)

I am a guy, but I'm smart enough to know that women control alot in the house just by the stuff they do. Surely you've learned that much by now, right?

[Just wondering]

I am a guy, but I'm smart enough to know that women control alot in the house just by the stuff they do.

And don't you ever forget it. :icon_laug

[BrotherEastman]

I am a guy, but I'm smart enough to know that women control alot in the house just by the stuff they do. Surely you've learned that much by now, right?
Yeah, but you don't have to let them know that.;) :D

[Rico]

Yeah, but you don't have to let them know that.;) :D

Ya gotta toss 'em a bone every now and then, Bro. :D

[Deonna]

Yeah, but you don't have to let them know that.;) :D

We already know. It's just taken you guys a little longer to figure that out. :D

[Tam]

Hey there, I wanted to reply here also. I have been in the work force for 11 years and also came home and raised 2 children on my own, with the Lords help. Although I wish I had a choice of staying home with them in the younger years, I could never stay at home all day, at least not since they are school age now. I would be very very bored, because if you keep house up, there really isn't that much to do daily. I wouldn't want to waist my life away in a house with no one around to testify to. In the work force, their is always someone to testify to and they really look forward to seeing your smilling faces. And to I married a drug addict who held everything over my head. When we married, he worked and I went to college. And everything was his, and so he was more like a dad to me than a husband. It's great when the spouses work together. But, my personal opinion, unless you have young children. Get out there and live!!!

[BrotherEastman]

We already know. It's just taken you guys a little longer to figure that out. :D
Awright,who let the cat outa da bag???:icon_laug :banana:

[Just wondering]

Ya gotta toss 'em a bone every now and then, Bro. :D


A bone. :realmad: Better watch out. You may find yourself in a dog house.:icon_laug

[WordPreacher]

This is a question to the Apostolic brothers only ladies you have your own board let the brothers have the floor!

A: Should women go out into the workforce and split the bills?
B: Should they stay at home and take care of the home?
C: Should they work just for the heck of it?
D: Should they work unless you have small children that need that parent at home?

I'm not stirring up controversy just wanted some opinions! And also trying to get this Men's discussion board rollin!


Brother,

This is my opinion on this: B: They should stay at home and take care of the home.

In our home, this is what my wife does, because that is what we both want.

[WordPreacher]

Many times it is hard to really know a person until after marriage. The marriage spouse can talk and put up a good picture as to who they actually are. They can say a lot of things that appear to be truthful. Then after marriage, the true colors show.

It can be hard to know for a fact if the person you are marrying is lazy, refuse to work, refuse to prepare meals, or enjoys living the life of sinful debt. Or if the spouse would go to great lengths to make sure the family struggled with collection agencies and debt collector phone calls and that the family damages their health by their eating habits.

Also, people can change their minds about pre-marriage decisions. They can also be tempted in all kinds of sin that they never ever imagined they would engage in.

With some people, it is just taking a chance on what the spouse will do and will not do once the marriage ceremony is over. For some people, they get "the worse" in the "for better of worse" part of certain marriage vows.

For example. a man can say that opposite sex friendships should be monitored. There should be rules against being alone together, etc. Then, after marriage, he breaks all of the pre-marriage rules with his female friend. Then he argues with the wife about how he is right and is doing nothing at all wrwong. She is wrong because she disagrees with him.

There is a way to avoid this and that is to have God pick your spouse.

[Apostolic Kitty]

Also, I forget when I hear a man casually refer to how a woman who doesn't work outside the home must sit around and watch soap's.

I bought myself a chaise when I got my new living room furniture. I rarely sit in it because I am so busy getting up and down, moving around... Yeah... Since I am now a SAHM I do NOTHING alll day long... HAH!

[ddc101]

ha...I have to go to work to get away from all the work at home.There
is more to do at home than at an outside job.I have been unpacking boxes
all day long and putting stuff away.Thankfully I get to nap and then go do the night shift at the jail.Though is alot of work it in no way measures housework.Housework if you do it right and keep things up is tedious.
To all those who get to stay home I applaud you!:bow:

[crisstrunk]

This is my opinion, after being in the workforce and praying to be able to stay home, God gave me a miracle and it happened. Our home, children and our Spiritual life has changed so much with me being home. I believe this is the women's place. A women has the home to take care of and it is a job itself. Often when they work outside then they have two full time jobs. Lord Bless:spin:

Brother,

This is my opinion on this: B: They should stay at home and take care of the home.

In our home, this is what my wife does, because that is what we both want.

[Riley]

There is a way to avoid this and that is to have God pick your spouse.


I know of several couples who originally said that their spouse was chosen for them by God. However, later if and when they divorce, they tell a different story.

Sometimes there can be wolves in sheeps clothing. Some people can appear to be so nice, innocent and respective - someone that is just darlin' and a dandelion - put pull the layers back and see what you have.

After marriage may be when the true colors come out and shine bright.

[ddc101]

What I find funny is someone discussing what other peoples families should and should not be doing according to the word of God.Too many Chiefs
and not enough Indians.

[jmm456]

I guess everyone's home environment is different from their neighbor's.

Sometimes women can feel that they have wasted their life being at home.
It depends on who they marry. Sometimes they can be unhappy in a marriage where the husband ignores them. If the husband does disregard and disrespect their words and their efforts to be an excellent stay at home wife, then it can hurt their self esteem.

Sometimes women can feel that as much as they contributed and did for the family, it did not good. The kids have gone astray, the husband dates a younger woman and she is left in the house alone. If she is lonely, then maybe she should go out and get a job. At least she can have work mates to buddy with and hang out with instead of being depressed and lonely.

All women may not be happy staying at home if they are looked upon as being a nothing by the family. This is not everyone, only a handful of people who may not tell what really happens behind the closed doors to their pals.

[ddc101]

Not to mention that not every woman has children at home to care for.You can only polish the silver so many times.

[Hilton]

I read a section of a book about women and money. The author is a woman who is married to a very wealthy man - who is also a book author.

She said that women could be in a self-destructive position if they are depending on a man for their financial stability. She gave examples of how clueless woman can be with the finances. After the husband is gone, they are left without money and in a financial situation. She discussed the financial consequences of divorce upon a housewife. She is not someone who is desired by some employers in the workplace because of her lack of job skills for the employer.

One woman said that her husband grunted when she asked for $10.00. So she opened up a business for herself and now she makes more money than he does.

[Hilton]

Why do women marry men that they can't trust to do their part? Aren't they setting themselves up for trouble? I mean if you don't know for a fact that this person has a stable track record of employment, paying bills on time, etc. why marry them?

Simple explanation for this. If a woman is aging and she is close to the end of her baby making days, then going out and finding any man herself may be the answer. She can twist his arm into marriage and the babies. Then, if it does not work out and he is still dating someone else, she can easily turn and walk away.

If she has done every thing within her religion possible to get a man for marriage and she has been a failure, then she may have to take the matter into her own hands and do the best she can with finding someone to get her what she desires.

To one woman it is better to be single with no children than to be a maiden for a man. To another woman a maiden is where it is at if it brings her closer to her dreams and desires of marriage and children.

So everyone should just speak for themselves and not for another person.

[Michlow]

This past weekend I found myself unable to sleep, and therefore was flipping through the TV channels at 2 in the morning. I came across this program called "Free to be you and me". I remembered it from my youth. We had watched it many many times in school.

Watching it through adult eyes, I was shocked that it was nothing more than propaganda, designed to foist the feminist agenda off on unsuspecting children.

Last night, I was discussing it with my Mom, and I came to a certain realization. Even though I believe that in a perfect world the men would be the breadwinners, and the women would be the keepers at home. Even though I believe that the traditional way of things is the better way. For the first time I see that my expectations are completely and totally unrealistic in our modern world.

A women who doesn't work, unless she has small children, is considered lazy and a slacker. She is left vulnerable to an unexpected future with no education, work experience, or financial security.

We are a product of our culture. And cultural teaching is hard to fight against. Even if it we try not to teach it to our children, we cannot seperate them from our culture. Instead, we send them off to schools, where they are fed the propoganda of the liberal agenda. Therefore, our children will be even worse off then we are.

It's really hard not to feel discouraged and fatalistic.

[Apostolic Kitty]

I know of several couples who originally said that their spouse was chosen for them by God. However, later if and when they divorce, they tell a different story.

Sometimes there can be wolves in sheeps clothing. Some people can appear to be so nice, innocent and respective - someone that is just darlin' and a dandelion - put pull the layers back and see what you have.

After marriage may be when the true colors come out and shine bright.


It could also be that they chose to go against what God had for them when they learned how tough marriage could be.

It's not necessarily that people are pretending to be something else before marriage. Sometimes people marry thinking they can change the things they don't like about their spouse... or they simply have unrealistic expectations.

There have been times when I have "felt" like leaving, but always had a hard time following through with the thought of leaving what I knew God ordained -- especially considering my vow was not only to my husband, but to God.... Let no man (or woman) put asunder...

[ddc101]

Simple explanation for this. If a woman is aging and she is close to the end of her baby making days, then going out and finding any man herself may be the answer. She can twist his arm into marriage and the babies. Then, if it does not work out and he is still dating someone else, she can easily turn and walk away.

If she has done every thing within her religion possible to get a man for marriage and she has been a failure, then she may have to take the matter into her own hands and do the best she can with finding someone to get her what she desires.

To one woman it is better to be single with no children than to be a maiden for a man. To another woman a maiden is where it is at if it brings her closer to her dreams and desires of marriage and children.

So everyone should just speak for themselves and not for another person.

Brother Hilton,
I humbly disagree.Women don't have to just choose any man is they
don't have a fabulous body or a baby making maching intact.That is
as far from the will of God as we can get.I cannot see a women marrying
out of the will of God for convienience sake.lv sis.c

[Hilton]

For the small handful of women in the world, not everyone, just a few, for those who are desperate for marriage and for a baby, any man is better than no man.

She can always pamper him and treat him like he is a king. She can have a special room for him at her home and purchase electronic items for him or whatever it takes to make him happy. She can work and do 99.99% of the housework while he relax all day long while she is his type of servant.

She can do what she has to do if she considers herself as a failure in this area of her dream life. Then after she gets the baby or whatever she wants, she can give him money for an apartment for six months. Or she could put him out on side of the road with $5,000 cash in his pocket or whatever it takes to get rid of him.

This does not in any way apply to everyone. It is just for the very few who would actually consider this as an alternative to being single, alone and boring and living a severely depressed life.

[ddc101]

Hilton I was single for a few years and loved it.Happiness is not governed by having a MAN.Especially a bum man.:yeah:

[Rico]

For the small handful of women in the world, not everyone, just a few, for those who are desperate for marriage and for a baby, any man is better than no man.

She can always pamper him and treat him like he is a king. She can have a special room for him at her home and purchase electronic items for him or whatever it takes to make him happy. She can work and do 99.99% of the housework while he relax all day long while she is his type of servant.

She can do what she has to do if she considers herself as a failure in this area of her dream life. Then after she gets the baby or whatever she wants, she can give him money for an apartment for six months. Or she could put him out on side of the road with $5,000 cash in his pocket or whatever it takes to get rid of him.

This does not in any way apply to everyone. It is just for the very few who would actually consider this as an alternative to being single, alone and boring and living a severely depressed life.

I'm sorry, but this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time. :icon_laug :icon_laug

[Michlow]

I'm sorry, but this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time. :icon_laug :icon_laug

Hmmmmm....If I just knew where I could get $5000 :cool:

[Apostolic Kitty]

Hilton I was single for a few years and loved it.Happiness is not governed by having a MAN.Especially a bum man.:yeah:

You got that right!

I was quite happy being single, too... Just as I am quite happy being married now. :)

I'm sorry, but this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time. :icon_laug :icon_laug

Ya think? :icon_craz

Hmmmmm....If I just knew where I could get $5000 :cool:

Please call me as soon as you find out. $5000 would definitely come in handy! :cool:

[Michlow]

Please call me as soon as you find out. $5000 would definitely come in handy! :cool:

Would you settle for a winter coat? I finally got a chance to...well...send my husband to the post office. Sorry it took so long!

[lovedbyHim]

This past weekend I found myself unable to sleep, and therefore was flipping through the TV channels at 2 in the morning. I came across this program called "Free to be you and me". I remembered it from my youth. We had watched it many many times in school.

Watching it through adult eyes, I was shocked that it was nothing more than propaganda, designed to foist the feminist agenda off on unsuspecting children.

Last night, I was discussing it with my Mom, and I came to a certain realization. Even though I believe that in a perfect world the men would be the breadwinners, and the women would be the keepers at home. Even though I believe that the traditional way of things is the better way. For the first time I see that my expectations are completely and totally unrealistic in our modern world.

A women who doesn't work, unless she has small children, is considered lazy and a slacker. She is left vulnerable to an unexpected future with no education, work experience, or financial security.

We are a product of our culture. And cultural teaching is hard to fight against. Even if it we try not to teach it to our children, we cannot seperate them from our culture. Instead, we send them off to schools, where they are fed the propoganda of the liberal agenda. Therefore, our children will be even worse off then we are.

It's really hard not to feel discouraged and fatalistic.


Sometimes a woman can be considered lazy and a slacker even if she does have small children.

I feel that it is important for a woman to have a career once her children are older and in school. The reason for this is because what if something happens to her husband and she is left to care for the children by herself. I would not want to be in that situation. I feel that it is important for the woman to stay home with the kids when they are younger and for the first few years of school, then after that maybe start a career or a good job. I know that I really want to go to school next year, now that my kids are in school full time. I also want to make my husband proud of me for my efforts.

[ddc101]

This is just my opinion but I think the woman ought to get her education before she has the children.Its our place to educate these children.If anything happens to the husband then you don't have to be on ssi exclusively.Its a good investment even though you may not use it
right away.lv sis.c

[Michlow]

Sometimes a woman can be considered lazy and a slacker even if she does have small children.

I feel that it is important for a woman to have a career once her children are older and in school. The reason for this is because what if something happens to her husband and she is left to care for the children by herself. I would not want to be in that situation. I feel that it is important for the woman to stay home with the kids when they are younger and for the first few years of school, then after that maybe start a career or a good job. I know that I really want to go to school next year, now that my kids are in school full time. I also want to make my husband proud of me for my efforts.

I have no problem with women working once their children are in school. I just don't like the way our society makes a woman out to be lazy if she doesn't. I don't even have children, and can think of plenty that needs to be done around the house that would keep me busy.

I guess what I don't like about working outside of the home is that it takes up a big part of your focus. You spend more time at work then you spend at home (not counting when you are sleeping!). All this time and effort that goes into something that has no eternal value. It just seems like a big waste to me.

Of course, I work 2 jobs, and have to fit in all my housework in on saturdays and sunday afternoons. Oh, and it probably makes a difference that I have a husband who does nothing but make more work for me. I could live with that, if I didn't have to do his job as well and make the money.

[ddc101]

Amen same here.I hate the time work takes away from your children and family.I have though been a stay at home mom.Mine are in school now though.Thank God.But it does wear you out.I am glad though that I am
able to help pay bills because its a shame not to pay your bills.lv sis.c

[lovedbyHim]

Amen same here.I hate the time work takes away from your children and family.I have though been a stay at home mom.Mine are in school now though.Thank God.But it does wear you out.I am glad though that I am
able to help pay bills because its a shame not to pay your bills.lv sis.c


That's how I feel too, I would like to be a sahm until my kids are grown, but if we went to pay bills and a few debts, and eventually buy a house, I absolutely HAVE to find a good career. I just don't see any of that happening until I can make decent money. My hubby makes good money, but he doesn't make $30 an hour or anything like that! That would be nice, but I'm not sure we could do all the things we need to do with that much.

[Hilton]

I'm sorry, but this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time. :icon_laug :icon_laug
Thank you for your observation and for your comment. You are so correct, this is riduculous. Too bad this is true. I have myself been a witness to the painful experiences that women face when there is a problem with marriage and with trying to fulfill their fantasy of being a mom and a wife.

I know first hand the stories that were told to me and the people who said them. I only know those who are so painfully enduring this situation. I only speak for them, not for every lady in the whole wide world. Thanks again for your post and all of your comments.

[abrother]

I am a man for the record.

I am about to get hammered for being chauvenistic... but I always was a glutton for punishment. There is a reward for those who actually read this to the end....

Men have failed to do their part in many if not most cases, and this has forced women to step up and into a place that was never intended for them to have to be in. But unfortunately women are not free from blame either.

Biblically a woman submitted to her own father, until she married. Then she was submitted to her husband till he died.

"Women ought not put on that which pertaineth to a man", does not simply refer to clothing... but is rather a declaration of character and position in life. She ought not put on a man's attitude, or anything which is percieved as a manly. Women were blatantly commanded to be womanly... and to reject EVERYTHING that was a "man's" role in society. This is God's law preventing the bluring of the sexes.

You might say what about...? We get too caught up in hypothetical situations which have never occured to US... then we get all offended because we do not like the hypothetical answers to the hypothetical questions because those answers do not fit our real lives.

Here is a good rule of thumb:

If it would cause you to violate God's laws then it is not an option... PERIOD. There are no what if's. We do not serve the Lord until it is no longer fun or convnient, and then we throw out His rules and laws, and do our own thing... or at least we should not, and if we do then it tells us just how little, if at all, we really ARE serving Jesus.

That is like a woman saying it is a sin to cut your hair in the winter, then cutting your hair, because long hair is hot in the summer time.

"Be not conformed to this world...."

I choose E) Women are to work from the home to support the home, while managing the home. Proverbs 31

Men are to work where ever and however God directs them to work.

The Bible declares that a Godly woman goes out into the buisiness world only to find a buyer for the products and services she develops from her home work place. She then returns to her home where she works from sun up to sun down if need be, etc. etc. There is no standard for anything else in the Bible, so I am FORCED to be of the opinion that there is no situation where a woman is forced to violate this concept.

Yes I know, YOU can think of a dozen in one breath.

Let me share my story.

My father beat my mother verbally, and physically until she chose to leave.
He was killed 1 year later... I was 7.
She was immediately swindled by a dishonest lawyer out of the real estate Dad owned, and left with nothing.
She had no skills, no training, no abilities she could have used in the apartment we lived in. She was FORCED to go to work....

I remember in 1980-81 when there were 5 adults and 2 kids living in the house we were in and $40 per MONTH for food for all 7 of us.... God provides. May not be as tasty as we would like, and it sure wasn't steak (all the cows thank Him for that) but it filled the tummy and we are alive to tell the story today.

I wore knee highs that DEFINED the term... but I was not naked. God kept His word... If my mom and step father had not been backslidden, I wonder how things would have been different.

I lived the hypothetical situations... ALL of them. I was the Poster child for the disfunctional home. WE had nothing. No, nothing would have been a step up. I dug in the community trash dump for my toys. God is my witness, I am not exagerating.

But little did anyone know, I was learning that God never fails to provide what I REALLY need. That no matter how poor I may seem by worldly standards, I am not dependant upon the world's economy.

Fast forward 20 years....

I have chosen to do things GOD's way even if it means my wife and 3 children live in a gutter and use newspaper for blankets. Jesus NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER fails... EVER.

5 times I have had people, including a stranger, and 3 people who violently declared God does NOT talk to people today, come to me and hand me $100 cash and say "God told me to give this to you." OR "I was in prayer this morning, and felt STRONGLY impressed that this belonged to you."

The stranger, gave me his Christmas bonus money as soon as he cashed his check.

We have not been on welfare. We have well qualified for it. To the Glory of GOD, we consistantly give well more than 20%, sometimes nearing 35% of our income to the Kingdom... even when that totals $0.30.

Twice I have moved across country more than 2000 miles with only the name of the town, because Jesus told me to go. Once I packed my 3 children and wife into a 1990 Ford festiva and left all we could not carry with us, including our home, to do the above. We have never slept out doors because we were homeless. We have never begged. We have never missed a meal.

For more than 1 1/2 years we could not speak a desire in the privacy of a closed room, alone, without someone bringing us the very thing we voiced before the sun set that day. From milk to an entire set of new "T-fal" cookware for my wife, to equipment I needed for my buisiness.

We have seen the miraculous. My children - 9,11,13 know their GOD personally, and He answer THEIR prayers. They are the leaders in the church.

I could go on and on and on.

I know the potential burden I am about to declare. But I also know MY GOD. As a Parent of 3 and as the sole money earner in our home, with an annual income that is a joke by many standards, I have earned the right to say the following.

There is no Biblical excuse for a lazy, soap opera watching, over the fence gossip, neither is there any excuse for a woman who wishes to mascarade herself as a man in the work force.

There are a few problems which block women from doing what is right.
Greed - we are not satisfied with less than the best, or less than what the world has in the way of toys and conveniences, thus our budgets must be swollen to accomidate out lustful covetiousness of things. This drives us to worship the almighty dollar... when we ought to simply ignore what we cannot afford within the framework of what the Bible dictates we should do, and what God has chosen to give us at this point in time. If you cannot afford to live in the place you do now and stay at home, then move... you are in the wrong place/house/neighborhood/state.
Pride - He is not better than me! I can do it too! OOOOO I want that shiny do dad... I deserve better than this!!! It is all the same... pride... pride is a sin.
Rebellion - Dont tell me what to do, I want to do it MY way! I'll show you! I'm not doing all the cleaning and cooking and... again sin.I have worked on my hands and knees, pulling weeds all day long because that is the work Jesus chose to give me to feed my family. My wife raised our 3 children at home. Are you too good to do that? You could not buy that time or experience from me at any price, for it was during this 1 1/2 years that my wife learned her most valuable lessons on trusting Jesus to take care of her and her children. We lived satisfactorily and yet were far from wealthy by worldly standards.

I make no excuses for offending anyone... Do it GOD'S way get a testimony of the power and Goodness of God... or make excuses to do it your way and have a lame, weak, shrivelled excuse for faith.

It is your choice. You cannot serve God, and Money.

A Brother

[Michlow]

Wow....

That was really long ;)

Not sure how to respond to that as I am one of those "hypothetical" situations.

Just a question....

If women were NEVER under any circumstance to work outside the house, NO MATTER WHAT, then why on earth did the Lord bless Ruth when she went to pick food in the fields?

[lovedbyHim]

I am a man for the record.

I am about to get hammered for being chauvenistic... but I always was a glutton for punishment. There is a reward for those who actually read this to the end....

Men have failed to do their part in many if not most cases, and this has forced women to step up and into a place that was never intended for them to have to be in. But unfortunately women are not free from blame either.

Biblically a woman submitted to her own father, until she married. Then she was submitted to her husband till he died.

"Women ought not put on that which pertaineth to a man", does not simply refer to clothing... but is rather a declaration of character and position in life. She ought not put on a man's attitude, or anything which is percieved as a manly. Women were blatantly commanded to be womanly... and to reject EVERYTHING that was a "man's" role in society. This is God's law preventing the bluring of the sexes.

You might say what about...? We get too caught up in hypothetical situations which have never occured to US... then we get all offended because we do not like the hypothetical answers to the hypothetical questions because those answers do not fit our real lives.

Here is a good rule of thumb:

If it would cause you to violate God's laws then it is not an option... PERIOD. There are no what if's. We do not serve the Lord until it is no longer fun or convnient, and then we throw out His rules and laws, and do our own thing... or at least we should not, and if we do then it tells us just how little, if at all, we really ARE serving Jesus.

That is like a woman saying it is a sin to cut your hair in the winter, then cutting your hair, because long hair is hot in the summer time.

"Be not conformed to this world...."

I choose E) Women are to work from the home to support the home, while managing the home. Proverbs 31

Men are to work where ever and however God directs them to work.

The Bible declares that a Godly woman goes out into the buisiness world only to find a buyer for the products and services she develops from her home work place. She then returns to her home where she works from sun up to sun down if need be, etc. etc. There is no standard for anything else in the Bible, so I am FORCED to be of the opinion that there is no situation where a woman is forced to violate this concept.

Yes I know, YOU can think of a dozen in one breath.

Let me share my story.

My father beat my mother verbally, and physically until she chose to leave.
He was killed 1 year later... I was 7.
She was immediately swindled by a dishonest lawyer out of the real estate Dad owned, and left with nothing.
She had no skills, no training, no abilities she could have used in the apartment we lived in. She was FORCED to go to work....

I remember in 1980-81 when there were 5 adults and 2 kids living in the house we were in and $40 per MONTH for food for all 7 of us.... God provides. May not be as tasty as we would like, and it sure wasn't steak (all the cows thank Him for that) but it filled the tummy and we are alive to tell the story today.

I wore knee highs that DEFINED the term... but I was not naked. God kept His word... If my mom and step father had not been backslidden, I wonder how things would have been different.

I lived the hypothetical situations... ALL of them. I was the Poster child for the disfunctional home. WE had nothing. No, nothing would have been a step up. I dug in the community trash dump for my toys. God is my witness, I am not exagerating.

But little did anyone know, I was learning that God never fails to provide what I REALLY need. That no matter how poor I may seem by worldly standards, I am not dependant upon the world's economy.

Fast forward 20 years....

I have chosen to do things GOD's way even if it means my wife and 3 children live in a gutter and use newspaper for blankets. Jesus NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER fails... EVER.

5 times I have had people, including a stranger, and 3 people who violently declared God does NOT talk to people today, come to me and hand me $100 cash and say "God told me to give this to you." OR "I was in prayer this morning, and felt STRONGLY impressed that this belonged to you."

The stranger, gave me his Christmas bonus money as soon as he cashed his check.

We have not been on welfare. We have well qualified for it. To the Glory of GOD, we consistantly give well more than 20%, sometimes nearing 35% of our income to the Kingdom... even when that totals $0.30.

Twice I have moved across country more than 2000 miles with only the name of the town, because Jesus told me to go. Once I packed my 3 children and wife into a 1990 Ford festiva and left all we could not carry with us, including our home, to do the above. We have never slept out doors because we were homeless. We have never begged. We have never missed a meal.

For more than 1 1/2 years we could not speak a desire in the privacy of a closed room, alone, without someone bringing us the very thing we voiced before the sun set that day. From milk to an entire set of new "T-fal" cookware for my wife, to equipment I needed for my buisiness.

We have seen the miraculous. My children - 9,11,13 know their GOD personally, and He answer THEIR prayers. They are the leaders in the church.

I could go on and on and on.

I know the potential burden I am about to declare. But I also know MY GOD. As a Parent of 3 and as the sole money earner in our home, with an annual income that is a joke by many standards, I have earned the right to say the following.

There is no Biblical excuse for a lazy, soap opera watching, over the fence gossip, neither is there any excuse for a woman who wishes to mascarade herself as a man in the work force.

There are a few problems which block women from doing what is right.

Greed - we are not satisfied with less than the best, or less than what the world has in the way of toys and conveniences, thus our budgets must be swollen to accomidate out lustful covetiousness of things. This drives us to worship the almighty dollar... when we ought to simply ignore what we cannot afford within the framework of what the Bible dictates we should do, and what God has chosen to give us at this point in time. If you cannot afford to live in the place you do now and stay at home, then move... you are in the wrong place/house/neighborhood/state.
Pride - He is not better than me! I can do it too! OOOOO I want that shiny do dad... I deserve better than this!!! It is all the same... pride... pride is a sin.
Rebellion - Dont tell me what to do, I want to do it MY way! I'll show you! I'm not doing all the cleaning and cooking and... again sin.I have worked on my hands and knees, pulling weeds all day long because that is the work Jesus chose to give me to feed my family. My wife raised our 3 children at home. Are you too good to do that? You could not buy that time or experience from me at any price, for it was during this 1 1/2 years that my wife learned her most valuable lessons on trusting Jesus to take care of her and her children. We lived satisfactorily and yet were far from wealthy by worldly standards.

I make no excuses for offending anyone... Do it GOD'S way get a testimony of the power and Goodness of God... or make excuses to do it your way and have a lame, weak, shrivelled excuse for faith.

It is your choice. You cannot serve God, and Money.

A Brother


I understand what you are saying and I commend you for doing the things you do. Many men do not agree with you, however and believe that a woman should get out and earn at least half of the income. I have struggled with this in the past and I'm really not sure how I feel about it, but I do feel that it is best for the wife to be home and raise the children and keep the house, but in this day and age that is very rare.

I am a stay at home mom, and I do not watch soap operas, do not gossip and I'm far from lazy, but I'm also hoping to go to college and start a career soon. I would like to stay home with the kids until they move out, but it ain't happenin'! So I might as well make the most of it.

[meagain]

I am a man for the record.

I am about to get hammered for being chauvenistic... but I always was a glutton for punishment. There is a reward for those who actually read this to the end....

Men have failed to do their part in many if not most cases, and this has forced women to step up and into a place that was never intended for them to have to be in. But unfortunately women are not free from blame either.

Biblically a woman submitted to her own father, until she married. Then she was submitted to her husband till he died.

"Women ought not put on that which pertaineth to a man", does not simply refer to clothing... but is rather a declaration of character and position in life. She ought not put on a man's attitude, or anything which is percieved as a manly. Women were blatantly commanded to be womanly... and to reject EVERYTHING that was a "man's" role in society. This is God's law preventing the bluring of the sexes.

You might say what about...? We get too caught up in hypothetical situations which have never occured to US... then we get all offended because we do not like the hypothetical answers to the hypothetical questions because those answers do not fit our real lives.

Here is a good rule of thumb:

If it would cause you to violate God's laws then it is not an option... PERIOD. There are no what if's. We do not serve the Lord until it is no longer fun or convnient, and then we throw out His rules and laws, and do our own thing... or at least we should not, and if we do then it tells us just how little, if at all, we really ARE serving Jesus.

That is like a woman saying it is a sin to cut your hair in the winter, then cutting your hair, because long hair is hot in the summer time.

"Be not conformed to this world...."

I choose E) Women are to work from the home to support the home, while managing the home. Proverbs 31

Men are to work where ever and however God directs them to work.

The Bible declares that a Godly woman goes out into the buisiness world only to find a buyer for the products and services she develops from her home work place. She then returns to her home where she works from sun up to sun down if need be, etc. etc. There is no standard for anything else in the Bible, so I am FORCED to be of the opinion that there is no situation where a woman is forced to violate this concept.

Yes I know, YOU can think of a dozen in one breath.

Let me share my story.

My father beat my mother verbally, and physically until she chose to leave.
He was killed 1 year later... I was 7.
She was immediately swindled by a dishonest lawyer out of the real estate Dad owned, and left with nothing.
She had no skills, no training, no abilities she could have used in the apartment we lived in. She was FORCED to go to work....

I remember in 1980-81 when there were 5 adults and 2 kids living in the house we were in and $40 per MONTH for food for all 7 of us.... God provides. May not be as tasty as we would like, and it sure wasn't steak (all the cows thank Him for that) but it filled the tummy and we are alive to tell the story today.

I wore knee highs that DEFINED the term... but I was not naked. God kept His word... If my mom and step father had not been backslidden, I wonder how things would have been different.

I lived the hypothetical situations... ALL of them. I was the Poster child for the disfunctional home. WE had nothing. No, nothing would have been a step up. I dug in the community trash dump for my toys. God is my witness, I am not exagerating.

But little did anyone know, I was learning that God never fails to provide what I REALLY need. That no matter how poor I may seem by worldly standards, I am not dependant upon the world's economy.

Fast forward 20 years....

I have chosen to do things GOD's way even if it means my wife and 3 children live in a gutter and use newspaper for blankets. Jesus NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER... NEVER fails... EVER.

5 times I have had people, including a stranger, and 3 people who violently declared God does NOT talk to people today, come to me and hand me $100 cash and say "God told me to give this to you." OR "I was in prayer this morning, and felt STRONGLY impressed that this belonged to you."

The stranger, gave me his Christmas bonus money as soon as he cashed his check.

We have not been on welfare. We have well qualified for it. To the Glory of GOD, we consistantly give well more than 20%, sometimes nearing 35% of our income to the Kingdom... even when that totals $0.30.

Twice I have moved across country more than 2000 miles with only the name of the town, because Jesus told me to go. Once I packed my 3 children and wife into a 1990 Ford festiva and left all we could not carry with us, including our home, to do the above. We have never slept out doors because we were homeless. We have never begged. We have never missed a meal.

For more than 1 1/2 years we could not speak a desire in the privacy of a closed room, alone, without someone bringing us the very thing we voiced before the sun set that day. From milk to an entire set of new "T-fal" cookware for my wife, to equipment I needed for my buisiness.

We have seen the miraculous. My children - 9,11,13 know their GOD personally, and He answer THEIR prayers. They are the leaders in the church.

I could go on and on and on.

I know the potential burden I am about to declare. But I also know MY GOD. As a Parent of 3 and as the sole money earner in our home, with an annual income that is a joke by many standards, I have earned the right to say the following.

There is no Biblical excuse for a lazy, soap opera watching, over the fence gossip, neither is there any excuse for a woman who wishes to mascarade herself as a man in the work force.

There are a few problems which block women from doing what is right.
Greed - we are not satisfied with less than the best, or less than what the world has in the way of toys and conveniences, thus our budgets must be swollen to accomidate out lustful covetiousness of things. This drives us to worship the almighty dollar... when we ought to simply ignore what we cannot afford within the framework of what the Bible dictates we should do, and what God has chosen to give us at this point in time. If you cannot afford to live in the place you do now and stay at home, then move... you are in the wrong place/house/neighborhood/state.
Pride - He is not better than me! I can do it too! OOOOO I want that shiny do dad... I deserve better than this!!! It is all the same... pride... pride is a sin.
Rebellion - Dont tell me what to do, I want to do it MY way! I'll show you! I'm not doing all the cleaning and cooking and... again sin.I have worked on my hands and knees, pulling weeds all day long because that is the work Jesus chose to give me to feed my family. My wife raised our 3 children at home. Are you too good to do that? You could not buy that time or experience from me at any price, for it was during this 1 1/2 years that my wife learned her most valuable lessons on trusting Jesus to take care of her and her children. We lived satisfactorily and yet were far from wealthy by worldly standards.

I make no excuses for offending anyone... Do it GOD'S way get a testimony of the power and Goodness of God... or make excuses to do it your way and have a lame, weak, shrivelled excuse for faith.

It is your choice. You cannot serve God, and Money.

A Brother

I was a stay at home mom and lived the way you described for several years. Except my ex had no real skills so we were constantly moving from place to place. Did we miss a meal, well not if you count eating unhealthy junk like bologna sandwiches, or pasta and ketchup. We were never homeless by definition, but believe me it was a miserable way of life. The houses were little more than shacks, and the rent ate all our income. Your wife has an extreme amount of strength and patience to endure that kind of lifestyle. I know many people are greedy but I do not think it is greedy to want a life that is above poverty. Having to eat pasta with ketchup because you have nothing else to eat is just insanity. And at the time, I was just thankful for a bite to eat at all.

[abrother]

To the person who mentioned Ruth, I do not mean this harshly, but you are obviously not well versed with the Old Testament. I suggest a re-reading of the Law and the story itself. Specifically concerning harvesting of one's crops, and tithes. Start with the following Scriptures and facts.

Ruth was a widow. Ruth 1
Ruth was poor. Ruth 1 & 2
Ruth was a stranger by Biblical definition. Ruth 2:10
Gleaning was woman’s job while reaping was a man’s job Ruth 2:8-22
Deut 14:28,29 Law of tithe and poor widows
Lev 19:9,10, 23:22

God had a welfare plan. It was for the poor, orphaned, strangers, and widows. Ruth qualified by at least 3 of these points in that she was a poor, widowed, stranger. She was also the ONLY child of Naomi, which meant that it was her responsibility to provide for Naomi’s needs as well as her own. This is in my opinion why Naomi did not go out and work for herself. She was not as Paul called it “a widow indeed.”

Notice she never went to do the work of the men or work with the men, but only worked as the women did, where the women were working. Also notice that the work she was doing was clearly “women’s work” as only the maidens were gleaning. Notice also that Boaz had to command his men not to rebuke her if she got too close to what they were doing or where they were doing it, which is to point out that if a woman got out of her female role she could expect open rebuked in God’s culture.

Finally, consider that there is a HUGE difference between what Ruth was doing and what modern women do for the most part, working for bigger and better toys and prettier items than what is already provided to her, or what is actually needed.

Simply the difference is one of survival verses wealth accumulation, which is the offspring of pride.

Love and Blessings

A Brother

[abrother]

Let me begin by saying it is not my purpose here to debate or argue with anyone. I do what I feel I am required to do to please my Lord, and I am hopeful that you do the same.

It is not my place to judge you. To your own Master you stand or fall. PLEASE understand that I am not attacking anyone… I am being transparent concerning the convictions I have and why I have them. I challenge some previous statements that have been posted, but only in the process of making a Scriptural point, never to single out an individual or to be rude.

That said let me also say that I am concerned that we not get involved in a debate over "what if's" and hypotheticals which have no valid immediate application in our real lives. If you have specific details you are willing to openly discuss then post and I will tell you if I have a position based upon Scripture or if you have stumped me.

I could easily move into hypotheticals for the sake of debate, but that is less than acceptable.


Another point to consider, what most people today are striving for, is not a home and the necessities of life, but has gone far into the category of luxuries. There are untold Millions of dollars being hoarded by so called Apostolic Christians while their brothers and sisters in Christ are poor and in some cases destitute or nearly so.

Someone earlier mentioned for example that her motivation for going outside the home and entering into the workforce, was that she had to if she was to be able to get the nice home and cars and all the toys... this is a direct and blatant violation of a clear Scriptural salvational commandment for believers.

Let me point out what Jesus said on the subject:

Mat 19:16 And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
Mat 19:17 ... if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
Mat 19:18 He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
Mat 19:19 Honor thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Mat 19:20 The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
Mat 19:21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
Mat 19:22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.
Mat 19:23 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Mat 19:24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
Mat 19:25 When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?
Mat 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Mat 19:27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
Mat 19:28 And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
Mat 19:29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

So much for Love thy neighbor AS thyself.

How can I eat steak, knowing my brothers and sisters are barely making it by on pasta and ketchup and honestly claim to love them AS I love myself? I ought rather give to them that we might both eat hamburger.

Perhaps you will now understand the following Scripture more perfectly in this light:

1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own (the body of Christ), and especially for those of his own house (his blood family), he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I added the portion in parenthesis for explanation.

Our missionaries are forced to often invest as much as 60% or more of their lifetime begging for the money to go reach the lost as God called them to do, when we swim in our wealth. Lusting and coveting more.

May I remind us that loving our neighbor as ourself is as much a salvational requirement as thou shalt not steal.

I am not judging the lady I referred to, that is between her and her God, but since when does the church set aside God's instructions for toys and cars and homes qualify as acceptable since Jesus CLEARLY said we ought to be giving those things up for the Kingdom's sake.

I am not suggesting that we sell everything and live on the street, but there must be more love and less greed

[abrother]

Now, I will not presume to judge the hypothetical circumstances that have been referred to, but I will say this Matt 6 contains God’s promise for provision. If all He has provided is stale crackers and a mud puddle for drink, then He has kept His word. Your pasta with ketchup was a step up from there. Be careful that you do not develop the attitude of the Hebrews wandering in the Wilderness, where you bad mouth God’s provision because it is not up to the world’s standards.

You may call it insane to settle for God’s provision when you can choose to live by the world’s standards and do better YOUR way, but do not mistake that attitude for thankfulness, that is plain ungratefulness, followed closely by rebellion against God’s instructions to you.

That is like declaring it is a sin to cut your hair in January in 5 degree weather and then in July when it is 100 you cut it because it is not uncomfortable for you to submit.

Truth is not always comfortable, especially when it interferes with our desires… but it is still truth even when we dislike it strongly.

Please consider Rom 12:1-2 in this context.

================================================== =============

It is important that after a hard posting as I have made above, that I become open and transparent. I say the following only to express that I practice what I preach. I made strong statements above, it is therefore only fair that I put them into context and walk my talk.

For the record, if I were to rebel against God’s commands to me personally, I would be a VERY rich man right now. You will never know how much it has cost me to submit to Jesus’ rules for my life. Let me simply say that I have passed on nearly 1/4 Million a year income. Last year after taxes I made less than 16,000. And of that we gave nearly 25% to Kingdom business. We lived on the rest. A family of 5. Without any welfare assistance.

I have to ask myself often what is my motive? It is simply love. Can I say I love my brothers and sisters? When I stand before Jesus can I say winning the lost was my goal, or will I have to say winning the rat race was the goal.

I have been known to give my last dollar, with no idea when or how I would get my next one, simply because Jesus spoke to me ant told me to give it. I had no safety net in place… and it hurt to obey. But it was worth it because I have seen miracles as a result. I have never missed a meal or been forced to sleep in the street.

Let me assure you, God is faithful.
My 1300 square foot 4 bedroom home is paid for.
My 2 cars are paid for.
My toys are all paid for.
No insurance.
No savings account

No worldly retirement account, because Jesus said that if I gave all my worldly possessions to the needs of those around me, that I had treasure in Heaven and that I would have more of the same here as I need it. I believe what Jesus has said and so I act on my belief

My son just got braces… I paid cash for them.

I want to make a point here… I had no money for this expense. No savings. The work came to me the month prior. Jesus sent me just enough work to be able to earn the money for the down payment for this need, and believe me… this was a need….

It has not been an easy experience, nor a completely comfortable one either… but neither was calvery.

I do not know the price Jesus paid for you… maybe you were a good girl, always doing the right things at the right times, and the worse thing you ever did was steal a cookie from your momma’s cookie jar… but maybe you are like me… and you ran as far and as fast as you could possibly go… I do not know.

But this I do know, I do not deserve even the mud puddle to drink from, let alone the shirt on my back. When I look at what He has given me, I can hardly keep from weeping. I want to serve Him at the table, yet I keep finding myself asked to sit at the same table as He once again serves me. I don't deserve to sit on the floor under the table.

[abrother]

You see, it is about our attitudes toward what we have been given versus what we think we deserve. Humility vs. Pride. Is it too much to go without that fancy this or that, when plain will do just fine, knowing that the extra $$$ went to feed a missionary so he could reach one more soul? Ask yourself this… “Did God promise to provide your needs or not?” “Did He not also define the framework in which you ought to operate?”


Mat 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Mat 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Mat 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Mat 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Love and Blessings to you all,

A Brother

[NanaRenan]

Well, my brother from Missouri is not afraid to say what he believes, is he!!

And God bless you, abrother!! What a testimony of how God has taken care of you and your family.

I agree with you on SO many levels.

I was a SAHM mom for a 16 years and totally committed to it. Then I started reaching for that golden ring, myself, thinking that we'd had enough beans and bologna to last a lifetime. I went to work and worked for 4 years and realized that its just not something I am willing to do if I don't 'have to'. The mental, physical and spiritual costs were WAY more than I bargained for! I began to petition the Lord to make a way out of it. He blessed us with a transition that allowed us the opportunity to change the situation and I have been at home again for the last 6 years and plan to stay here.

The problem is, we all have to define what "have to" means to us. If a couple are both working and the majority of their money goes to pay for food, housing and other "living expenses" -- she probably needs to continue working. (Unless they are eating out a lot or living in a home or driving cars that are above their means...I know, I've been there!!)

But if the wife/mom is working so that they can live in something bigger/nicer and decorate it...or spending a big chunk of her income at the mall buying niceites for herself and her family....then she might need to examine her motives. (I know, I've been there, TOO!)

Just thinking of my daughter's situation, at first glance it seems to me like she 'has to work'. We're blessed in that I am home and can keep her children. But on second glance -- if they dropped the cable TV, her husband quit smoking and they cooked meals and packed lunches to replace all the times they eat out...she wouldn't 'need' nearly as much money each month.

It's a volatile topic, to be sure. But one that each family needs to carefully and prayerfully consider.

[NanaRenan]

This thread reminds me, I heard a rabbi speaking recently, discussing today's abundance of 'toys' we give our kids...

I know 9 y/o's with their own cell phone and their own designer handbags. My granddaughter's "Wish List" looked more appropriate for a college aged girl. And one loving, but near-sighted friend of the family actually bought her the ipod Nano she wanted -- a $200 item!!

SHE'S EIGHT!!!

But I digress...

...the Rabbi said that this instill INSATIABILITY in children that they always want more, more, more and are never satisfied. I believe that is SO true.

My two youngest children have grown-up in much more comfort and luxury than their older siblings, even though they aren't so far apart in age. And it shows in their attitudes and desires. The more we've given them, the more they want. And while we COULD keep up with it, we refuse to.

[aposreform]

I would love to be able to have an income, that my wife did not have to work. Also, If a Pastor is truly committed to women being keepers of the home and husbands working, then they will not accept the tithe and offerings from a woman that is working and married.

[Michlow]

This is all good in THEORY. But often not in reality. I have spent the last 7 years beating myself up and living in shame because of people like you.

Would you have me starve? Would you have me live on the street? Would you like to support me? Either directly or through your tax money?

Am I too really believe that I am being greedy and rebellious and don't know my place because I don't know how to survive on the $600 my husband makes working part-time at Walmart.

You think I LIKE working two jobs, and then working into all hours of the night cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and trying to manage the finances?

You people are exactly the reason why I avoid church people. You SAY that you aren't attacking or belittling anyone, and yet you basically say that any woman who works is an unsubmissive materialistic sinner who is OBVIOUSLY out of the will of God. While you all sit around and pat yourselves on the back for being so much better than the rest of us losers.

And you wonder why no one is interesting in hearing your "gospel".

[Shauna]

Amen dear sister!!! Thank you for that much needed reality check. For those that are willing and able to stay at home its fantastic:banana: . If they like it I love it.

I am also tired of seeing married women get slammed b/c they work outside the home. Circumstances differ. Temperments differ. Everything isn't for everybody. If I was married and stayed home all day I know I'd be cooking from sun up to sun down. And I'd gain about 2000 pounds in the process:icon_laug. It would behoove a person like me to have an outside job for the sake of my arteries.

If people don't think married women should work please contact them with your name and address so that these women can forward their bills to you. Once you start paying their bills and debts consistently I'm sure they'd be willing to stay at home.

***I'm single but I'm willing to forward my bills to anyone here that is willing to pay them***.






This is all good in THEORY. But often not in reality. I have spent the last 7 years beating myself up and living in shame because of people like you.

Would you have me starve? Would you have me live on the street? Would you like to support me? Either directly or through your tax money?

Am I too really believe that I am being greedy and rebellious and don't know my place because I don't know how to survive on the $600 my husband makes working part-time at Walmart.

You think I LIKE working two jobs, and then working into all hours of the night cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and trying to manage the finances?

You people are exactly the reason why I avoid church people. You SAY that you aren't attacking or belittling anyone, and yet you basically say that any woman who works is an unsubmissive materialistic sinner who is OBVIOUSLY out of the will of God. While you all sit around and pat yourselves on the back for being so much better than the rest of us losers.

And you wonder why no one is interesting in hearing your "gospel".

[abrother]

This is all good in THEORY. But often not in reality. I have spent the last 7 years beating myself up and living in shame because of people like you.

Would you have me starve? Would you have me live on the street? Would you like to support me? Either directly or through your tax money?

Am I too really believe that I am being greedy and rebellious and don't know my place because I don't know how to survive on the $600 my husband makes working part-time at Walmart.

You think I LIKE working two jobs, and then working into all hours of the night cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and trying to manage the finances?

You people are exactly the reason why I avoid church people. You SAY that you aren't attacking or belittling anyone, and yet you basically say that any woman who works is an unsubmissive materialistic sinner who is OBVIOUSLY out of the will of God. While you all sit around and pat yourselves on the back for being so much better than the rest of us losers.

And you wonder why no one is interesting in hearing your "gospel".

First off my dear sister, No one is taking a poke at you personally. I never called you a "loser." I do not pat myself on the back. You are putting words in my mouth and intentions in my heart. Neither of which are mine.

As for the beating you have received in the churches you have attended in the past, I understand what you are feeling completely. Little makes me so very angry as seeing what you must have been through... I have been there too.

As for your response to my postings, surely you can see I was not getting as personal as you have taken this to be. Your anger is out of the range of fairness is it not? Is it MY fault personally that you are in your situation? If you TRULY want out, perhaps you should ask for suggestions and counsel concerning your situation rather than blasting everyone who implies that you could do things differently.

In case you would like the answer to your financial questions in general, please obtain a copy of the book "THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON" by George Clayson. It has ALL the information you need to turn your finances around, the rest of the task is simply prayer and patience.

================================================== =======

What YOU call theory, I have been living for more than 9 years. That is no longer theory, it is fact... and the priciples are sound Scripturally, and I can prove it.

Consider Joshua and the nation of israel standing on the bank of the flooded Jordan river, water inches from their feet, carrying a 2+ ton arc on their shoulders and being told just start walking out into the raging torrent.

This is the same. In fact ALL faith decisions are the same. Before you choose to act on the word of God instead of acting based upon the cold hard facts that you have in front of you.... all you see is the raging river. Everything in you screams make one move and its over, permenantly. I know, I have been there. I am standing on the bring of my own river even now, and yes it is scary even to me with all I have experienced.

BUT... take a step... commit yourself to submission to God's word no matter the personal costs, and you will see the miraculous... but not a second before. This is the only fact, the only truth... all else is a mirage. Gravity is a mirage... just ask Peter... he walked on water too remember? Imposible??? Not if you apply the right principles, which is to say obey Jesus word when He speaks... but never forget, the very second you get your eyes off THE truth, and start to consider this world's truth, you too will sink.

================================================== ======

Now, concerning your harsh nasty statements above....

First concerning your statement about "my gospel." I do not know what you are refering to here. I have not even come close to discussing the subject of the Gospel, it is in fact no where near this topic.

As for not liking it when some one disagrees with you, why would you get involved in this discussion if you did not want someone to express a differing point of view?

Why are you attacking me because I am doing what you simply don't want to do? Is it possible that your problem is not "us people" in the church, but your problem is that you struggle admitting when you are wrong?

As for whether you LIKE working the two jobs etc., you already answered that question with a resounding "YES", when you posted your reply. When given the choice of trusting God and living a life filled with faith and seeing the miraculous first hand, or doubting God and doing things your own way, you have chosen the latter.

I plead with you to consider this error, it is called "Rebellion," and that is called sin.

This topic began with all women being told to stay out of it, that it was for MEN ONLY. The fact that you stayed, and then got involved in the discussion is all the evidence needed to prove you refuse to submit to authority in any area.

Which is why you have problems staying in church, submitting to a Pastor, and your husband, and ultimately to God. Which is why you are struggling in every area in life including your finances.

If this is too harsh for you, then so be it. Truth is harsh sometimes. Just ask anyone in Hell.

================================================== =======

For the rest of you, There comes a time when you must "rebuke a fool" to quote Proverbs. I apologize that you had to experience it as well.

Also since I can see that this has gotten out of control at this point, I will no longer respond to any posts on this subject unless you ask specific questions of my personal experiences or thoughts, which I will openly share. I do not claim to have all the answers. I can only share what I have learned and what I do know from experience.

Blessings in Christ,

abrother

[Michlow]

abrother ~

You think I WANT to work????? I would give just about anything to be able to stay home.

However, my husband has Asperger's syndrome. It is a neurological condition (phyisiologial, not psychological or psychiatric) that is on the autism spectrum. There is no cure. There are no medications, nor do they recommend any counseling or training. In short, there is nothing to fix it or to make it better. Sometimes, when someone is diagnosed in childhood, with years of training there are more options.

What this basically means is that my husband is not capable of doing many, well frankly most of the duties that would be expected of a man/husband. Essentially he has a handicap. And can only do what he is capable of doing.

If my husband were in a persistent vegetative coma would you still say that it was "out of the will of God" for me to work? If my husband had Alzheimer's or another form of dementia would you say that it was out of the will of God for me work? What about if he was in a horrible accident that left him both blind and paralyzed?

My point is, I am one of those "exceptions" that you insist do not exist.

Please do not for a minute think that I have chosen this life or that you have any idea what I have experienced.

I do apologize for the harsh tone of my former post. I admit to being a bit sensitive about this topic, especially when people insist that I could make other choices "If I really wanted to".

This is precisely why the Bible commands us not to judge. You say to yourself "The Lord has spoken to me, and shown me that women are to be keepers at home, and therefore should not work outside the home. I heard his voice, and I have implemented it in my life. I am obedienet to the Lord in this area. But that women is working outside the home, she must be disobeying the Lord!"

But the Lord has not commanded me to stay at home! The Lord has said to me "My darling child, I know how much your heart breaks for your situation. I know how heavy the burden you carry around of regret of bad choices. I understand how hard it is for you to stay in this situation. But never fear, when you think you cannot bear it a moment longer, call to me, and I will give you peace. Though you womb will never bear children, I will be there. Though you will never know a "normal" marriage, I will be there. Though you may never be able to stay at home, or even retire, nevertheless, I will be with you, and I will bless you"

Can you understand? I don't think you can. And that's ok.

My situation is so heartbreaking. I feel very isolated and often frustrated that no one understands.

Except Jesus.

Who more than Him can understand what is like to be completely and totally misunderstood? To be cursed for doing right? To be judged for fulfilling God's plan? To be deserted by those closest to you, who think that they know better God's will for you.....

[Shauna]

Do you always jump the gun like this? Why did you rebuke her like that? Are you her pastor? I hate to say this but after reading your response I can see why she feels the way she does about church people. I'm going to report this message to the admin and see what they think about it.


Our sister is a very young woman in a difficult situation. Now that you know more of the facts I hope you can see why she was so frustrated in her response to you. She's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders *as best she can* and you're calling her rebellious.

Since you've only posted nine or ten messages maybe you haven't noticed that men and women chime in on each others conversations all the time. Check the threads and you'll see.

I'm offended and saddened at the things you said in this post. You went too far, you crossed the line.






As for whether you LIKE working the two jobs etc., you already answered that question with a resounding "YES", when you posted your reply. When given the choice of trusting God and living a life filled with faith and seeing the miraculous first hand, or doubting God and doing things your own way, you have chosen the latter.

I plead with you to consider this error, it is called "Rebellion," and that is called sin.

This topic began with all women being told to stay out of it, that it was for MEN ONLY. The fact that you stayed, and then got involved in the discussion is all the evidence needed to prove you refuse to submit to authority in any area.

Which is why you have problems staying in church, submitting to a Pastor, and your husband, and ultimately to God. Which is why you are struggling in every area in life including your finances.

If this is too harsh for you, then so be it. Truth is harsh sometimes. Just ask anyone in Hell.

[Webmaster]

abrother,

I have read through your posts to make sure I am not missing anything. I hope you are sincere when you say you are not taking a personal poke at Michlow. I understand where you are coming from, but I do believe your posting tone leaves a little to be desired. Let's try to do a little better. Because from what I read, you did indeed take a poke.

[Bartholomew]

This topic began with all women being told to stay out of it, that it was for MEN ONLY. The fact that you stayed, and then got involved in the discussion is all the evidence needed to prove you refuse to submit to authority in any area.

Which is why you have problems staying in church, submitting to a Pastor, and your husband, and ultimately to God. Which is why you are struggling in every area in life including your finances.

Ooh please brother, give her a break. I can't even believe what I am reading! rebellion against the one who started this tread and then you equate this or link it to her problems? Where did you get that she has problems staying in church or submitting to a pastor or her husband? Where did you read that? put those judgy glasses off and try to read with some more compassion, you are not uplifting. And your harshness is not the truth.

[abrother]

I do not see where in the ORIGINAL posts that I made a person slap at anyone. If sharing Scripture, and my own personal experiences is an attack on anyone else, I fail to see how.

Concerning, My final post, yes I did indeed slap IN RETURN.

Abrother

[abrother]

Michlow, appology accepted.

First, in case somehow my ORIGINAL posts came across as a personal attack on you, I appologize profusely. That was not my intent nor would I for a moment intend to do so.

Secondly, I was not attempting to insult anyone for the decisions they make, again as I stated judgement is reserved for God alone. I expressed the need for my own mother to go to work because of situations and circumstances. I do understand that there are circumstances which challenge the principles of Scripture. My point was this, at what point do we draw a line and stand on God's word in spite of the circumstances? If we never resist the circumstances, then we will never take a stand.

For the record, I never said it was a sin for a woman to work outside the home, I said that the concept was foreign to Scripture, and contrary to it's teachings, and I gave examples.

This thread was simply an issue of opinions. My opinion has been stated. I am not in any way saying that a woman is sinning for working outside the home.

As for your husband, please again do not take any of my comments as a slap at him. In my posting he never crossed my mind. I WAS offended that you would even joke about wanting to give him $5000 and put him on the street. Especially in his situation. Yes, that really pushed my button.

Sincerely,

Abrother

[abrother]

Ooh please brother, give her a break. I can't even believe what I am reading! rebellion against the one who started this tread and then you equate this or link it to her problems? Where did you get that she has problems staying in church or submitting to a pastor or her husband? Where did you read that? put those judgy glasses off and try to read with some more compassion, you are not uplifting. And your harshness is not the truth.

Bartholomew, try reading her post which blasted me. Thereyou find the info I was responding to.

[Just wondering]

abrother ~

You think I WANT to work????? I would give just about anything to be able to stay home.

However, my husband has Asperger's syndrome. It is a neurological condition (phyisiologial, not psychological or psychiatric) that is on the autism spectrum. There is no cure. There are no medications, nor do they recommend any counseling or training. In short, there is nothing to fix it or to make it better. Sometimes, when someone is diagnosed in childhood, with years of training there are more options.

What this basically means is that my husband is not capable of doing many, well frankly most of the duties that would be expected of a man/husband. Essentially he has a handicap. And can only do what he is capable of doing.

If my husband were in a persistent vegetative coma would you still say that it was "out of the will of God" for me to work? If my husband had Alzheimer's or another form of dementia would you say that it was out of the will of God for me work? What about if he was in a horrible accident that left him both blind and paralyzed?

My point is, I am one of those "exceptions" that you insist do not exist.

Please do not for a minute think that I have chosen this life or that you have any idea what I have experienced.

I do apologize for the harsh tone of my former post. I admit to being a bit sensitive about this topic, especially when people insist that I could make other choices "If I really wanted to".

This is precisely why the Bible commands us not to judge. You say to yourself "The Lord has spoken to me, and shown me that women are to be keepers at home, and therefore should not work outside the home. I heard his voice, and I have implemented it in my life. I am obedienet to the Lord in this area. But that women is working outside the home, she must be disobeying the Lord!"

But the Lord has not commanded me to stay at home! The Lord has said to me "My darling child, I know how much your heart breaks for your situation. I know how heavy the burden you carry around of regret of bad choices. I understand how hard it is for you to stay in this situation. But never fear, when you think you cannot bear it a moment longer, call to me, and I will give you peace. Though you womb will never bear children, I will be there. Though you will never know a "normal" marriage, I will be there. Though you may never be able to stay at home, or even retire, nevertheless, I will be with you, and I will bless you"

Can you understand? I don't think you can. And that's ok.

My situation is so heartbreaking. I feel very isolated and often frustrated that no one understands.

Except Jesus.

Who more than Him can understand what is like to be completely and totally misunderstood? To be cursed for doing right? To be judged for fulfilling God's plan? To be deserted by those closest to you, who think that they know better God's will for you.....

My hat is off to you. You have my deepest respect. I know that this has to be difficult. So many people would cut their losses and just up and leave but I respect that you are sticking to your marriage vows and trying to make the best of a bad situation. I pray that God will richly bless you.

[Michlow]

My hat is off to you. You have my deepest respect. I know that this has to be difficult. So many people would cut their losses and just up and leave but I respect that you are sticking to your marriage vows and trying to make the best of a bad situation. I pray that God will richly bless you.

Thank you very much for your kind words. I am no saint, but for the grace of God, I would have never made it this far.

[Just wondering]

Thank you very much for your kind words. I am no saint, but for the grace of God, I would have never made it this far.

Nobody is perfect. I had a pastor that once said if I asked for the perfect person to stand up I would have to get me a chair and sit down. But the race is to the one who endures to the end.

[abrother]

WOW!! :banana::banana::banana:

GOOD JOB!!!!