Parenting

[Jim]

Parenting seminar, Lesson 4.

The Role of Dad: Empower and Limit.


1 Thessalonians 2:11
As you know how we exhorted, and comforted [called near] [encouraged], and charged [challenged] every one of you, as a father does his own children....


The key elements of fathering are: empowering and limiting.


Mom’s job is to fill their children up through gracious, loving connection and enable them to contain their emotions and not fall apart over every little thing....

Dad’s job is to empower children so that they can move forward in life, while at the same time showing them the limits of life.

Mom’s work focuses on personhood and relationships.

Dad’s work focuses on abilities and accomplishment.

[Note: There are no concrete lines between the work of Mom and the work of Dad. We are only pointing out the focus of each one’s work.]


If you think of it like a train:

Mom fastens the cars together into a well-connected, unified train.

Dad empowers the engine to move forward and teaches it to stay on the tracks.

Both Mom and Dad are ministers of grace and truth.

In Dad’s case, empowerment relates to grace while limiting has to do with truth.


Let’s face it, in most cases Dad is the biggest and strongest guy in the house.

To a child, Dad equals power...or at least he should.

So in a sense, good fathering means the proper use of power.


Everyone needs to receive fathering from somewhere. We all either got it or we didn’t.

To the degree that we didn’t get it, that will be the degree we are lacking in properly controlled empowerment.


The way fathers empower children is by encouraging them, supporting them, providing resources for them, and challenging them to move them forward in life.

But as children begin to gain a sense of empowerment, Dad must balance this by teaching them that they are not God.

They are not omnipotent. They have limitations.

To accomplish this, Dads must be stronger than their children.

Passivity is a major problem for many fathers today. Dads need to be active in the work of parenting.

They cannot pass off their part of it on Mom..

Fathers who lack limits themselves are also a serious problem.

Unfortunately we have many fathers today who are in need of being fathered themselves.


Six Responsibilities of Dads

1. Dad provides security for Mom.

Since Mom’s job is to give and sustain life, Dad cannot expect her to be giving life while at the same time he is draining her of life.

This would be like trying to grow a garden in the middle of a war zone.


Instead, husbands need to provide their wives with kind, loving support and encouragement.


It has been said that children feel the most secure, not when they know their parents love them, but when they know their parents love each other.

A recent survey showed that the number one fear of 4th graders is that their parents will break up.

A good marriage is the foundation for good parenting.


2. Dad enables children to separate from Mom.

Moms tend to engulf their children with love and affection.

Dads job is to help each child realize that he is not an appendage of Mom.

He is a separate person with his own identity.


As a child moves out of infancy, Dad must be there to eliminate the child’s total dependency on Mom.

This can be painful for Mom if Dad isn’t connecting with Mom as he should.


What Dad needs to teach the child is that his needs are larger than one person.

There is a whole world out there from which he can receive help and support.


For all this to happen, Dad has to be there.

He must be available, he must take time to connect, he must take on the responsibility of meeting some of the child’s needs.


For example, when a child tries to withdraw from life because it is difficult or uncomfortable, and wants to retreat back into Mom, Dad needs to be there to encourage forward movement.

This might mean saying, “No, you need to go do your homework.”

Or, “If you don’t do as you’re told, then I will have to....”


3. Dad enables gender development.

Proverbs 17:6 The glory of children is their father.

For boys, Dad is the object of their identification.

He shows them what it means to be a man. Boys automatically want to be like their dad.

This is why it’s really dangerous when a son is stronger than his father.


For girls, Dad is the object of desire and validation.

Girls want to marry a man like dad.


Dads need to teach their sons to love and respect Mom.

This means he must love and respect Mom.

This shows the son how he should treat women, ultimately his own wife.


4. Dad models godly character, including values, structure, and responsibility.

For a model to be effective, he must be warm, approachable – not an adversary.

He must be strong – not spineless or limp-wristed.

He must have some degree of likeness – must find areas of common ground.

He must not present himself as perfect – must be humble, willing to admit faults and failures.

[Jim]

5. Dad administers godly correction.

One spanking from dad is worth ten from Mom.


Guilt is an inward sense of wrongness or badness

It can be a positive force for good in developing good character and behavior.


But when Mom uses guilt, it can be problematic.

This is because it is often used in association with relationship.

“I’ve done wrong, I’ve lost connection, I’ve lost love, I must be a pretty bad person that Mom wouldn’t love me.”

In this case, the guilt becomes associated with personhood rather than behavior.


But when dad uses guilt, it is more often associated with behavior standards.

“I’ve done wrong so I need to accept my correction and do better the next time.”


There’s a difference between acceptance and approval.

Agape is unconditional acceptance. It says, “I’m for you no matter what.” Agape is grace.

Dads need to show their children agape.

But because Dad is also highly concerned about behavior and accomplishment and being strong in the face of all the world might throw at you......

He has standards he expects his children to live up to. This is an important expression of truth.


Now, truth is absolute, not flexible.

Too many parents have standards that are moving targets.

This causes a child to feel as though he can never measure up.

Expectations and standards of behavior need to be reasonable and consistent.


Now, the issue comes up: What happens when a standard isn’t met?

Dad says, “Do this” and “this” doesn’t get done?


That is where correction comes in.

Hebrews 12:9-11
Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Everyone hates correction. Why? Because it is painful.


Dads need to understand that not all pain is bad.

There is a difference between hurting someone and harming someone.


Many fathers get the two mixed up.

They go easy on correcting because hurting their children makes them feel bad and breaks relationship.....

Not realizing that even though spanking a child may hurt him, passively allowing laziness, controlling behaviors, temper tantrums, and irresponsibility will harm him.


Some fathers attack the child rather than the child’s behavior.

“You’re bad” rather than “What you did is bad.”

We are not against people, we are against sin. There is a major difference.

What this does is breaks the child’s spirit when what you are really want to do is break the child’s will.


Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke [enrage] your children to wrath, but bring them up [raise to maturity] in the training [instruction, disciplinary correction] and admonition [calling attention to, mild rebuke] of the Lord.


Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke [stimulate to anger] your children, lest they become discouraged [disheartened, spiritless].


6. Dad teaches children how to deal with authority.

Doesn’t it seem as though all children hate authority.

This is because they don’t like having limits placed on their feeling of omnipotence.

They are like the people in Luke 19:14 who said, “We will not have this man to reign over us.”


This is why Dad’s job is to establish limits and enforce those limits.

What he is actually doing is teaching his children how to live in harmony with reality.

Because guess what? This Man does reign over us whether we acknowledge it or not.

He is Lord of all.

Authority exists.

The only issue is, what will be our attitude toward it?


But just as it isn’t enough to merely submit to Jesus, it isn’t enough to teach children to only submit to authority.

Dads need to go farther by teaching their children to love and appreciate authority.

Children need to learn to be thankful for the limits.

Otherwise, they will eventually push at the limits and try to stretch them at the edges.

The outer edges of God’s limits is not a safe place to be.


A note to dads:

You will not do all this perfectly. You weren’t given everything you needed from your parents so you can’t expect to give everything to your children.

But you are not destined to repeat the same errors your parents made.

You are a sovereign human being, endowed with the power of choice. You can choose to do differently and to apply yourself to learning and improving.



The Purpose of Rules.

Where do rules fit in to this process called parenting?

Grace , truth, and time: The third ingredient necessary for growing your children to maturity is time.

This is where rules fit in.

It takes a while for kids to get filled up with grace and to learn enough truth about life to be able to stand on their own.


So while this maturing process is taking place, children will need carefully crafted and consistently enforced rules.


Galatians 3:19
What purpose then does the law serve? It was added because of transgressions, till the Seed should come....

Because man had such a strong tendency to be disobedient and irresponsible, God added rules [the law] to restrain harmful, immature behavior.

But this was to be only until the seed came, that is, only until Jesus arrived on the scene with His supply of grace and truth.


Galatians 3:23
But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed.

KEPT UNDER GUARD = hemmed in for protection.

Children often feel hemmed in by their parents rules, but they need to be in place for their protection.


Galatians 3:24-25
Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. 25 But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. 26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

TUTOR = a servant who job was to take the children to school.


Rules should never be thought of as the goal.

Just getting your child to obey all your rules is not the goal of parenting.

Children who only learn to obey rules often grow up with little skill in making their own decisions.

They learn to comply but not to think.


The goal is what Paul called FAITH and SONSHIP.

In this context, faith means being fully connected all on your own to the source of grace and truth.

It means to be grown up.


Romans 10:4
Christ is the end [the goal] of the law....

Obeying all the rules is not the goal; leading children into the fulness of grace and truth is.


1 Timothy 1:5
Now the purpose [the end result] of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith.....


See handout on irresponsibility vs. defiance.

Rules need to be clear and enforcement needs to be consistent.


Corporal punishment.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness [perversity, evil] is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.




ADDENDUM: Overcoming what you lack:

Many people spend their lives trying to get from their parents what they missed out on as children.

1. Give it up.

Take your needs to God and other people, safe people.

Don’t try to get it from your spouse or someone you have a romantic relationship with.

It is not their job to parent you.

Marriage is based on two people being adults.


2. Forgive and grieve the losses.

You cannot receive fathering or mothering if you are in an adversarial relationship with fathering and mothering.

If someone owes you a million dollars but only has ten, why keep trying to squeeze out of him what he doesn’t have? Instead, forgive the debt and turn to someone who is generous and has a million dollars to spare.


3. Put what you learn into practice. Be a doer of the Word.



Note to the reader —

If you would like to comment on the contents of this paper, please contact the authors via email.

Jim McKinley Jim@GloriousChurch.com
David Huston DAHuston@aol.com

www.GloriousChurch.com

www.RoshPinnah.com

We welcome and appreciate all honest comments, questions, and criticisms.

[Jim]

Parenting Seminar, Lesson 3.

The Role of Mom.


1 Thessalonians 2:7
But we were gentle [mild, kind] among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes [to warm, to brood over] her own children.

Key Elements of Mothering:
CONNECTING and CONTAINING


From the very moment Mom hears that first cry in the delivery room until she cries as he walks down the aisle...

...Mom is raising and shaping a human to become a mature and productive member of the body of Christ.


How does she accomplish this task????

How does she prepare her child to be a warm and caring, yet responsible, adult?


Children come into the world very needy. Left alone they would die.
But God has provided something called “Mom” to cherish and warm and brood over little children.


Let’s look at the basic responsibilities of a mother.

1. Mom provides a sense of connection.

Why is connection so important?

Think about the opposite of being connected.

It’s called being isolated.

We all come into the world isolated and empty.

And many people never get connected and full.

I know this because I hear so many adults talk about their chronic feelings of emptiness and aloneness.


A lot of wrong behaviors, from addictions to spousal abuse, are motivated by an on-going sense of emptiness and aloneness.

When their need to overcome that sense of isolation is not met -- they act out.


When a person never gets connected, 2 mothers live in his head:

1) The mother who isn’t there, and...

2) The wished-for mother that he never had.


What is such a person like?

They have intense longings for someone who is not there.

This is a longing for love.

A longing for acceptance.

A longing for connection to someone who is capable of supplying my needs.

Such a person will have intolerable states of need and will try to fill those needs with all sorts of things.

He may then create the ideal connection in his mind that could save them from all of this

But it’s all just an illusion. It’s not reality.

Let's start at the beginning. After a horrendous ordeal called labor, the real labor starts.

A newborn just spent 9 months in intimate connection with another human being. And this bond, this way to receive life has just been severed.

Is there any more secure feeling than being in the womb. All needs automatically provided for - even the need for closeness.

But now the child suffers the pain of need and feeling alone. And he howls in protest.

But mom is there to begin one of her most important works. Let's call it connection.

A mother provides someone who is attachable to, someone that you can connect to.

They have enough warmth and openness and you begin to be connected as a human being

This is very important because it starts to builds things into you like trust, empathy, and hope.

It also limits despair and depression.

This helps the child to develop a sense of being wanted, desired, welcomed.

And very importantly -- that your needs are seen as something good.

Every time a child is nurtured it has an actual physiological effect on the brain. Tracts are setup in the brain that develop something called emotional object constancy.

What does that mean? The fact that there will be someone to care for is established. It gets internalized. Mom becomes inside of you, inside of your brain even when she's not there physically.

For example, babies can only tolerate separateness for short intervals.

The younger the child - the sooner they need to see you, feel you.

At around age 3 they have internalized enough of Mom to be able to handle longer periods without her.

The Hebrew word for “weaned” means “satisfied.”

You are supposed to get it taken away when you get enough.

A lot of people were weaned before they had enough and are still looking.

They have intense longings for someone who is not there.

Have intolerable states of need and try to fill those with all sorts of things. The wrong things.


2. Mom provides emotional containment.

Small children are what we call fragmented.

Not one person who is sometimes happy sometimes sad, sometimes angry but they become whatever they are feeling.

For example, when they are angry they are enraged or when they are sad they are totally depressed.

Mom is there to put her arms around all of that and contains it until the child starts to feel like one person with many different feelings instead of many different people.

Children often feel like their feelings are bigger than life.

Bigger than me.

Mom soothes the child and helps them work through intense feelings.

After you are soothed so many times by mom - you internalize Mom’s soothing and can sooth yourself.

You can regulate your feelings.

People who have never had enough of that can't work through their feeling states very well and have difficulty with self-control.

Instead of containing them they discharge them. For example, enraged, hitting, yelling, screaming.

Some Moms who are good at connecting and containing are poor at the next important aspect of mothering - separating.


3. Mom teaches that being a separate person is okay.

A good mother is one who is working herself out of a job.

All of the gentle and kind attention she gives her children is wonderful, but it is not supposed to go on forever.


Every child eventually needs to separate from Mom.

They need to learn that it’s okay to have their own feelings. Their own desires. Their own life.

That they are not responsible for completing Mom's life.

Being separate from Mom is okay.


A mother must be preparing her children to separate from her and join the world.

To many unloved mothers this seems like far too big a loss.

"You mean I'm not going to be the most important thing to you forever?"

Mothers who are having difficulty with this often try to guilt their children into being responsible for them.

Or they may discourage their child from having opinions or desires different from them.

Or they may allow too much destructive behavior.


A mom should, in partnership with Dad, set limits on their children and consistently enforce them.

But if Mom is empty, isolated, and needy, she may allow children to get away with things because she isn’t willing to risk losing any degree of connection.


Some adults have problems living within limits because their mothers enabled them and didn’t say “no” to them.

Mom needs to be both a lover and a limiter.

A connecter and a container.


It is not always easy to tell when child is truly in need or is simply being manipulative.

Needy Moms tend to interpret everything as need.

Those who are more structured evaluate each situation.

Legitimate needs are met with kindness, and irresponsibility is met with correction.

Many self-centered husbands who do not hear and respect their wife’s “no” did not have a mother who set limits.

What do they need now? More love?

[Jim]

4. Mom teaches that being imperfect is okay.

Ever since Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the world has been full of both goodness and badness.

Moms need to help their children learn to bring these two contrasting characteristics of life into perspective.

This is called resolving the good-bad split.


The Bible says there are none good. This means that no one is entirely good except the Lord Himself.

Similarly, few if any people are entirely bad.

Every human being has some positive attributes and some negative ones.

This means that we are all “imperfect.”


A Mom who is at peace with her imperfections will be able to give unconditional love to an imperfect child.

She will also be able to help the child come to terms with his own imperfection.

One way Mom shows a child he is not perfect is by setting limits.

Limits help children learn that they are not the center of the universe. They are not God.


To the extent that Mon needs to see herself or her children as perfect or ideal, she will not be able to bring the good-bad split together, but will only make it worse

In such cases, children grow up feeling that if they do good, they are all good – perfect, ideal.

But if they do something wrong, even one little thing, then they're all bad.

Since no one wants to feel like he’s all bad, such children will engage in a lot of excuse-making and self-justification.


These children also grow up feeling that if someone gratifies them, then that person is all good.

But if someone is failing them, then they're all bad.

It is important to understand that the best mothers don’t represent themselves as good in every way.

The best mothers are those who approach positive - negative in a way that is not crippling

In other words, they are "good enough."


Some of the sickest people you will ever meet are those who had mothers that were so into being the perfect mom that the child became an extension of them... to tell mom how perfect she is.

The child was never allowed to have a life of their own.


A “good enough mother” is one who is comfortable with her own imperfections and who helps her children to become comfortable with his imperfections as well.

This teaches the child that its okay to love less-than-perfect people later in life.


5. Mom initiates early development of gender identity.

To a girl, Mom is her first and most powerful model of what it is to be female.

To a boy, she is the first opposite sex connection he experiences.

She needs to affirm his maleness and her femininity.


Moms who either deprive their children of relationship or overwhelm them with it...

Who fail to teach them to contain their emotions...

Who refuse to allow them to separate appropriately...

Who condemn them for their imperfections or deny their imperfections...

Or who provide girls with a poor model of what it means to be female or fails to affirm her son’s maleness....

Leave their children lacking in the inward qualities that God ordained moms to provide.


Most of the damaging effects or poor parenting occur in the first 4 to 5 years of life.

We then have about 70 years to fix it all.

Steps to Restoration

1. The first step to getting fixed is to stop denying the deficiencies. Confess the truth.

2. Take the problem areas to people who can help heal them – people who will provide you with plenty of grace, truth, and time.

Psalms 68:6 says, “God sets the solitary [the isolated] in families.”

God had provided believers with the body of Christ as the place where we can resolve parenting issues.

3. You must forgive Mom for her failures and stop expecting her to give something she wasn't able to give you when you were five.


There are many people who are obsessed with analyzing what is wrong with their parents.

That may be a good thing to do up to a point, but it is not something to make a career of.

Parent bashing has a way of breeding negativity toward everyone else around you.


In the end, Jesus expects us all to love our imperfect mothers and all the other imperfect people around us.

If you never learn this, if you have to have a perfect mother -- then you will be motherless.

And if you have to have perfect people around you -- you will end up being all alone.



Note to the reader —

If you would like to comment on the contents of this paper, please contact the authors via email.

Jim McKinley Jim@GloriousChurch.com
David Huston DAHuston@aol.com

www.GloriousChurch.com

www.RoshPinnah.com

We welcome and appreciate all honest comments, questions, and criticisms.

[Jim]

The Structure and Objectives of Education



Before looking at the specific objectives of the educational process, let us first consider its overall purpose. From a Christian perspective, the purpose of education can be summarized in the following way: To equip our children to know God in personal relationship and serve Him in His will. It is not to enable them to make as much money as they can, or even simply to earn a comfortable living. Neither is it to make them good citizens or enable them to fulfill their greatest ambitions, hopes, or dreams. A life lived in the will of God may result in these temporal blessings, but they are not the purpose of a Christian's life. As the Bible says, "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" (Colossians 3:17). The purpose of life is serving God to His glory.

The process of educating children can be divided into two phases: the Foundational Phase and the Perfecting Phase. These phases are divided by a transitional period which in most cases will occur between age 10 and 14. Each phase has a few simple objectives which will give parents direction in the great task of educating their children.


The Foundational Phase

As you drive through a community, you will notice that the houses differ considerably. They are different sizes and shapes. They have different types and colors of siding, different numbers of windows, different slopes to the roof line. Yet, even though the houses are different, the foundations of the houses are all very similar. There may be slight differences to accommodate variations in terrain and soil composition, but in general, the foundations are the same.

The purpose of a foundation is to establish a sub-structure strong enough to support the house that is to be built upon it. The same is true of the Foundational Phase of a child's education. The objective is to establish a base of skills and understanding that will support the more specialized learning of the Perfecting Phase. Like the foundations of houses, the Foundational Phase does not vary widely from child to child. The content of the learning process will vary, but the specific objectives of this phase are the same.

There are three simple objectives of the Foundational Phase which every parent and child must understand. They involve a child being able to show competence in the following areas:

1. Reading: Able to read with understanding. This will be reflected in the child showing a strong, continuing desire to read and the ability to describe clearly and accurately to others what he has learned.

2. Learning: Able to learn effectively. This will be reflected in the child's ability to develop strategies for finding, evaluating, and assembling meaningful information about specific topics and his love for acquiring further knowledge.

3. Character: Able to clearly describe the character traits exemplified by Jesus Christ and be demonstrating steady growth in these traits. This will be reflected in the following ways:

The child is consistently honest.
The child is showing the ability to exercise self-control.
The child is willingly accepting responsibility.
The child is demonstrating perseverance in accomplishing tasks.
The child has the ability to connect with and live harmoniously with other people.
The child has the ability to recognize and avoid the harmful behavior of other people.
The child is showing kindness and compassion toward other people.
The child is committed to following Jesus.

Once a child has demonstrated competence in these three areas, he is then ready to transition into the Perfecting Phase. For some children this could happen as early as age 10. For others it may be a late as age 14. As a general guideline, however, most parents should target age 12 as the appropriate time to begin to transition from foundation to perfecting.


The Perfecting Phase

Any 12-year-old child with strong reading and learning skills, with godly character, and with a deep love for learning is in a position to learn about virtually anything and prepare for virtually any calling in life. The only question is, to what life work is a child called. The purpose of the Perfecting Phase is to clarify the calling and prepare the child in specific ways to fulfill the calling.

Like the houses in a community, the Perfecting Phase will vary widely from child to child. This is because it focuses more on content than foundational skills. All children need to possess the three foundational skills, but not all children need to learn about animal husbandry or chemical engineering. There will continue to be some broad areas of learning that all children will need to learn about, but even in these areas, the levels of learning will vary. For example, every child needs to master certain basics of mathematics, but not every child needs to master advanced calculus.

During the Perfecting Phase, the nature and level of learning should be based on the Lord's purpose for each child's life. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." In the original language, the phrase "the way he should go" is a single Hebrew word meaning "his way." In his book Our Father Abraham, Marvin Wilson explains the meaning of this verse. He writes:

There is a great difference between the training of a child according to the child's way (i.e. encouraging him to start on the road that is right for him), and training him according to the way chosen, prescribed, and imposed by the parents. The former is in keeping with the child's unique God-given disposition, talents, and gifts. It is considerate of the uniqueness of the child; it does not treat all developing personalities the same. The correct translation of this verse places the onus on the child to choose the right path. It is one thing for a parent to encourage, nurture, guide, and inform a child so that the child himself is prepared to choose the path that is right for him; it is something else for a parent to choose the path for the child. Parents must carefully observe each child and seek to provide opportunities for each child's creative self-fulfillment.

During the Foundational Phase, parents are responsible for observing their children for the purpose of determining the way they should go. This will mean taking note of subjects each child is particularly interested in and skills they are particularly adept at. This is to begin helping the child find a general direction in life. At this stage nothing should be "chiseled in granite."

During the Perfecting Phase children should be encouraged to explore a wide variety of subjects. They should have many opportunities to talk with adults in a variety of fields. As time goes by, God's purpose for a child's life will gradually come into clear focus. As this happens, the child will need to begin focusing his learning on the specific areas that pertain to his purpose. This may mean learning about animal husbandry if God's purpose is that he be a dairy farmer. Or it may mean learning about chemical engineering if God's purpose is that he be a chemical engineer. This specialized learning can begin at any time but becomes more focused and concentrated during the latter years of the Perfecting Phase.

The three objectives of the Perfecting Phase are that a young person has become competent in the following ways:

1. Purpose: Able to clearly describe God's purpose for his life. This will be reflected in the young person's ability to describe the gifts God has given him, the general ways in which he will function as a member of the body of Christ, and how he will support himself and his future family. It is recognized that at age 18 a young person will not know everything God has planned for His life.

2. Preparation: Able to accomplish work associated with God's purpose. This will be reflected in the competency the young person has attained in knowledge and skills in the areas of ministry and the field of work the Lord has directed him to. It may mean the young person requires further learning and development. In such cases, both the young person and the parents should know what additional education is needed and how it will be acquired.

3. Character: Able to consistently display the character traits exemplified by Jesus Christ. This will be reflected in the following ways:

The young person is honest.
The young person is able to control his words and actions.
The young person is carrying significant adult responsibility.
The young person prioritizes and successfully completes tasks.
The young person is living in harmonious relationships with most people around him.
The young person is recognizing and avoiding the harmful behavior of other people.
The young person is kind and compassionate toward other people.
The young person's commitment to the Lord is being demonstrated in consistency in prayer and fasting, diligence in studying the Word, and consistent manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit.


The Perfecting Phase of a child's education will normally end as a daily parental responsibility around age 18. At this time, most young people seek out specialized training or enter into their field of work. We should never think of learning as something that ends, however. In truth, the Perfecting Phase ought to continue on for the remainder of the child's life. And this is exactly what will happen for any child who has developed competence in the three foundational areas.



Jim McKinley Jim@GloriousChurch.com
David Huston DAHuston@aol.com

www.GloriousChurch.com

[ddc101]

Jim posted this and somehow it got by me.I want to print it down.How often do we see such roles defined.I say awesome.lv sis.c