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		<title>The Good News Café</title>
		<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net</link>
		<description>The Good News Cafe is an Apostolic discusion board designed for biblical topics</description>
		<language>en</language>
		<lastBuildDate>Fri, 18 May 2012 18:57:18 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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		<ttl>60</ttl>
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			<title>The Good News Café</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net</link>
		</image>
		<item>
			<title>Generational Pentecostal or 1st Generation?</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16225&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 18 May 2012 18:41:18 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Are you generational Pentecostal or 1st generation, and if you are, how did you come into this marvelous Truth?</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Are you generational Pentecostal or 1st generation, and if you are, how did you come into this marvelous Truth?</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=14">Testimonies and Praise Reports!</category>
			<dc:creator>MaryB</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16225</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Voter I. D.</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16224&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 17 May 2012 14:25:02 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Happy to say that my state (MS) will now require 
voter I.D. in any elections!  :tup: 
  
  
http://msgop.org/index.php/2012/05/thursday-morning-tip-sheet-14/ 
  
Morning Tip Sheet, News 
Posted on May 17th, 2012 
  
Later this morning, Gov. Phil Bryant will host a signing ceremony in the...</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4">Happy to say that my state (MS) will now require</font></font><br />
<font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4">voter I.D. in any elections!  :tup:</font></font><br />
 <br />
 <br />
<a href="http://msgop.org/index.php/2012/05/thursday-morning-tip-sheet-14/" target="_blank">http://msgop.org/index.php/2012/05/t...-tip-sheet-14/</a><br />
 <br />
<font face="Arial"><font size="4"><font color="#0000ff">Morning Tip Sheet, </font><font color="#0000ff">News</font><br />
Posted on May 17th, 2012<br />
 <br />
Later this morning, Gov. Phil Bryant will host a signing ceremony in the governor’s office at the state capitol for House Bill 921, which requires voter identification for all elections.......<br />
 <br />
 <br />
</font></font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MawMaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16224</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Hard to believe!</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16223&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 02:27:03 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*Hard to believe what's on the news these days: 
 
MIAMI (Reuters) - A mother shot and killed her four children before turning a gun on herself in a small town in Florida on Tuesday, authorities said. 
The shooting happened at a house in Port St. John, in Brevard County, about 15 miles from NASA's...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b>Hard to believe what's on the news these days:<br />
<br />
MIAMI (Reuters) - A mother shot and killed her four children before turning a gun on herself in a small town in Florida on Tuesday, authorities said.<br />
The shooting happened at a house in Port St. John, in Brevard County, about 15 miles from NASA's Kennedy Space Center.<br />
A spokesman for the Brevard County Sheriff's office identified the victims as four children aged 12, 13, 15 and 17. They were shot by their 33-year-old mother, Tonya Thomas, who then turned the gun on herself, Tod Goodyear said.<br />
All were shot with what appeared to be a handgun, he said.</b></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=10">Open Café</category>
			<dc:creator>Dordt</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16223</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Planet Earth Image!</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16222&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2012 21:39:59 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Just read about this.......... 
Incredible!! :Wow: 
  
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/05/15/russia-presents-highest-resolution-image-earth/ 
  
*Russia presents highest resolution image of Earth* 
 
Published May 15, 2012 
NewsCore</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4">Just read about this..........</font></font><br />
<font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4">Incredible!! :Wow:</font></font><br />
 <br />
<a href="http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/05/15/russia-presents-highest-resolution-image-earth/" target="_blank">http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/...n-image-earth/</a><br />
 <br />
<b><font size="4">Russia presents highest resolution image of Earth</font></b><br />
<br />
<div align="left"><font color="#000000">Published May 15, 2012<br />
NewsCore<br />
<ul><li><img src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/managed/img/Scitech/Earth%20from%20Russian%20satellite.jpg" border="0" alt="" /><br />
An image of the Earth taken by the Russian weather satellite Elektro-L No.1. (NTsOMZ) <br />
</li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Read more: <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/05/15/russia-presents-highest-resolution-image-earth/#ixzz1uycmCrcO" target="_blank">http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/...#ixzz1uycmCrcO</a></font></div></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=55"><![CDATA[Today's Headlines]]></category>
			<dc:creator>MawMaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16222</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Any thoughts on the music we listen to?</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16221&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 15:22:35 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[* 
I posted this on another forum about "Christian Rock Music": 
 
As far as I'm concerned there's no such thing as "Christian" rock music. 
Many seem to disagree. But here's what I think: 
 
 
All Christian worship music should be inspired by The Holy Spirit. 
 
There are three kinds of music:]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b><br />
I posted this on another forum about <i>&quot;Christian Rock Music&quot;</i>:<br />
<br />
As far as I'm concerned there's no such thing as &quot;Christian&quot; rock music.<br />
Many seem to disagree. But here's what I think:<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>All Christian worship music should be inspired by The Holy Spirit.<br />
<br />
There are three kinds of music:<br />
<br />
1. Of satan, by satan and for satan.<br />
2. Of man, by man, for man.<br />
3. Of God, by God, for God.<br />
<br />
Number 3 is the music that should be used for worship.<br />
&quot;Christian Entertainment&quot; music is only a way to make money<br />
and is not anointed by the Holy Spirit.<br />
<br />
Remember: ALL music goes directly to YOUR spirit, Good AND bad.<br />
<br />
Where the doctrine is right, the music will be right.<br />
<br />
Evaluate this:<br />
<br />
1. The Music.<br />
2. The people playing it.<br />
3. The message in the songs.<br />
4. The total presentation, such as clothing, surroundings etc.<br />
<br />
Also remember this: We are what we are listening to.<br />
The music you hear in your church represents the spiritual condition of your church.</i><br />
</b><br />
<br />
Any thoughts?</div>

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			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=10">Open Café</category>
			<dc:creator>Dordt</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16221</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Happy Mothers Day!!!</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16220&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 13 May 2012 23:05:40 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there!!! 
God bless you all:heart::Date::heart:</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there!!!<br />
God bless you all:heart::Date::heart:</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=8">General Ladies Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>oneagleswings</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16220</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Happy Mother's Day!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16219&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 13 May 2012 12:16:03 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Image: http://i.mnpls.com/55/5598.jpg</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div align="center"><img src="http://i.mnpls.com/55/5598.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> </div></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MawMaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16219</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>ZIP Skinny  Zip code info.</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16218&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2012 02:31:23 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Enter your ZIP code to see U.S. Census data and comparisons 
with neighboring ZIPS!    
So cool!  :) 
  
  
http://zipskinny.com/</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Enter your ZIP code to see U.S. Census data and comparisons<br />
with neighboring ZIPS!   <br />
So cool!  :)<br />
 <br />
 <br />
<a href="http://zipskinny.com/" target="_blank">http://zipskinny.com/</a></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MaryB</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16218</guid>
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		<item>
			<title>Obama on same sex marriage.</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16217&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2012 01:03:23 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[* Obama: 
"In the end the values that I care most deeply about and she cares most deeply about is how we treat other people," he said. "We are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b> Obama:<br />
&quot;In the end the values that I care most deeply about and she cares most deeply about is how we treat other people,&quot; he said. &quot;We are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing Himself on our behalf, but it's also the Golden Rule - treat others the way you would want to be treated. And I think that's what we try to impart to our kids and that's what motivates me as president, and I figure the most consistent I can be in being true to those precepts, the better I'll be as a dad and a husband and hopefully the better I'll be as president.&quot;<br />
 </b><br />
<br />
There you go!<br />
No need to say more about this guy.</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=10">Open Café</category>
			<dc:creator>Dordt</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16217</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Good Points</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16216&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 10:13:13 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble,  
but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout the journey.  
  
 
 
 
2] So why is a Car's WINDSHIELD so large & the Rear View Mirror so small?  
Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE.  
So,...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font size="3">1] Prayer is not a &quot;spare wheel&quot; that you pull out when in trouble, </font><br />
<font size="3">but it is a &quot;steering wheel&quot; that directs the right path throughout the journey. </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">2] So why is a Car's WINDSHIELD so large &amp; the Rear View Mirror so small? </font><br />
<font size="3">Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. </font><br />
<font size="3">So, Look Ahead and Move on.</font><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">3] Friendship is like a BOOK. </font><br />
<font size="3">It takes a few minutes to burn, but it takes years to write.</font><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">4] All things in life are temporary. </font><br />
<font size="3">If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. </font><br />
<font size="3">If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either. </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! </font><br />
<font size="3">If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! </font><br />
<font size="3">Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold! </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, </font><br />
<font size="3">GOD smiles from above and says, </font><br />
<font size="3">&quot;Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end! </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; </font><br />
<font size="3">when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities. </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">8] A blind person asked: </font><br />
<font size="3">&quot;Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?&quot; </font><br />
<font size="3">The reply: &quot;Yes, losing your vision!&quot; </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, </font><br />
<font size="3">and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, </font><br />
<font size="3">remember that someone has prayed for you. </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, </font><br />
<font size="3">it takes away today's PEACE. </font><br />
 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3">Live simply. </font><br />
<font size="3">Love generously. </font><br />
<font size="3">Care deeply. </font><br />
<font size="3">Speak kindly. </font><br />
<font size="3">Leave the rest to God.<br />
<br />
</font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MaryB</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16216</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Summer Plans?</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16215&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2012 23:31:04 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>What plans do you have for summer?  Are you planning on a vacation?  What?  Where?  Inquiring minds need to know.  :D</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>What plans do you have for summer?  Are you planning on a vacation?  What?  Where?  Inquiring minds need to know.  :D</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MaryB</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16215</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Luke 15:24</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16214&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2012 23:27:58 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Does anyone know how long the son was gone before he returned home? 
  
Luk 15:24 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Luk&c=15&v=11&t=KJV#comm/24)For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Does anyone know how long the son was gone before he returned home?<br />
 <br />
<a href="http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Luk&amp;c=15&amp;v=11&amp;t=KJV#comm/24" target="_blank"><font color="#0066cc">Luk 15:24</font></a>For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=56">Daily Devotions</category>
			<dc:creator>MaryB</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16214</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>The most awesome thing happened</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16213&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2012 04:35:55 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[We were in service last night and the most awesome thing happened. I was standing up worshiping and all of a sudden I felt the spirit of the Lord come upon me so strong that I couldn't hardly hold it in. I was used for the first time ever in my life to give a message in tongues. I've spoke in...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>We were in service last night and the most awesome thing happened. I was standing up worshiping and all of a sudden I felt the spirit of the Lord come upon me so strong that I couldn't hardly hold it in. I was used for the first time ever in my life to give a message in tongues. I've spoke in tongues but never before with such intensity and power as I felt doing this. It was truly awesome!</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>Sarah Jane</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16213</guid>
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		<item>
			<title>If I Were The Devil (Warning For A Nation) circa 1965 by Paul Harvey</title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16212&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 06 May 2012 01:45:01 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*In 1965, commentator Paul Harvey wrote this essay about how he would destroy us (America) if he were the devil. * 
  
*Remember this was 47 years ago. 
http://nation.foxnews.com/paul-harvey/2012/03/21/1965-if-i-were-devil-warning-nation-paul-harvey 
 
**1965: 'If I Were the Devil' (Warning for a...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4"><font face="Times New Roman"><font size="3"><b>In 1965, commentator Paul Harvey wrote this essay about how he would destroy us (America) if he were the devil. </b></font></font></font></font><br />
 <br />
<font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="4"><font face="Times New Roman"><font size="3"><b><font size="5">Remember this was 47 years ago.<br />
<a href="http://nation.foxnews.com/paul-harvey/2012/03/21/1965-if-i-were-devil-warning-nation-paul-harvey" target="_blank"><font color="#810081">http://nation.foxnews.com/paul-harvey/2012/03/21/1965-if-i-were-devil-warning-nation-paul-harvey</font></a><br />
<br />
</font></b></font></font><font face="Arial"><b>1965: 'If I Were the Devil' (Warning for a Nation) - Paul Harvey </b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>This speech was broadcast by legendary ABC Radio commentator Paul Harvey on  April 3, 1965:</b><br />
If I were the Devil . . . I mean, if I were the Prince of Darkness, I would of course, want to engulf the whole earth in darkness. I would have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, so I should set about however necessary to take over the United States. I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.” “Do as you please.”   To the young, I would whisper, “The Bible is a myth.” I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what is bad is good, and what is good is “square”.  In the ears of the young marrieds, I would whisper that work is debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be extreme in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct. And the old, I would teach to pray. I would teach them to say after me: “Our Father, which art in Washington” . . .<br />
If I were the devil, I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull an uninteresting. I’d threaten T.V. with dirtier movies and vice versa. And then, if I were the devil, I’d get organized. I’d infiltrate unions and urge more loafing and less work, because idle hands usually work for me. I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. And I’d tranquilize the rest with pills. If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine yound intellects but neglect to discipline emotions . . . let those run wild. I would designate an athiest to front for me before the highest courts in the land and I would get preachers to say “she’s right.” With flattery and promises of power, I could get the courts to rule what I construe as against God and in favor of pornography, and  thus, I would evict God from the courthouse, and then from the school house, and then from the houses of Congress and then, in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and I would deify science because that way men would become smart enough to create super weapons but not wise enough to control them.<br />
If I were Satan, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg, and the symbol of Christmas, a bottle. If  I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. And then, my police state would force everybody back to work. Then, I could separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines, and objectors in slave camps. In other words, if I were Satan, I’d just keep on doing what he’s doing.<br />
Paul Harvey, Good Day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</font></font></font></div>

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			<category domain="http://www.goodnewscafe.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11">General Discussions</category>
			<dc:creator>MawMaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16212</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Bible Outline from a child's point of view, by Esther Mccoy]]></title>
			<link>http://www.goodnewscafe.net/showthread.php?t=16211&amp;goto=newpost</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 05 May 2012 22:19:08 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*Bible outline from child’s point of view* 
 
*April 15, 2012* 
 
By ESTHER MCCOY - Staff writer (emccoy@heraldstaronline.com) , The Herald-Star  
  
I received a Biblical outline from a child's point of view of what was learned throughout the year in junior church. It was sent to me from Wilma...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b>Bible outline from child’s point of view</b><br />
<br />
<b>April 15, 2012</b><br />
<br />
By ESTHER MCCOY - Staff writer (<a href="mailto:emccoy@heraldstaronline.com"><font color="#0066cc">emccoy@heraldstaronline.com</font></a>) , The Herald-Star <br />
 <br />
I received a Biblical outline from a child's point of view of what was learned throughout the year in junior church. It was sent to me from Wilma Kough of the Kolmont Community Church and was very humorous and thought provoking.<br />
It goes like this:<br />
&quot;In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness and some gas.<br />
The Bible says, &quot;The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, &quot;Give me a light,&quot; and someone did. Then God made the world.<br />
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.<br />
Pretty soon, all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.<br />
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy. But one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.<br />
Another important Bible guy was Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent 10 plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights each day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top 10 commandments.<br />
These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance or covet your neighbor's bottom, the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President. Oh yeah! I just thought of one more - Humor thy father and thy mother.<br />
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshau fought the battle of Geritol, and the fence fell over on the town.<br />
After Joshua came David. He got to be the king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise but that doesn't sound very wise to me.<br />
After Solomon, there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.<br />
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem, in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, &quot;Close the door! Were you born in a barn?&quot; It would be nice to say, &quot;As a matter of fact, I was.&quot;)<br />
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot, who didn't stick up for Jesus.<br />
He just washed his hands instead. Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.&quot;<br />
Wilma noted that the details are a little skewed but the facts are there. God made the world. Jesus was born and died for our sins. He arose and is in heaven and will be back.</div>

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